Snow? (!!) : )

It is snowing here but it is powder fine with just a few flakes here and there. I am scared to get excited because we have had this so many times before with no accumulation. It probably will happen this time though because we have a play scheduled for tomorrow and one of mine is sick now.

This morning as I looked at Kayla trying to decide if she was too sick for co-op, my phone rang and it was Sandy calling to tell me one of hers was sick and could I cover her for History. I decided Kayla was OK because replacing two moms would be impossible. Kayla was not herself all day and was starting to run a bit of a fever by the end of co-op. She had complained of a sore throat so after co-op, I went ahead and ran her by Dr. Telle for a step test. Thankfully, negative. Dr. Telle needs prayers though, she has been sick the last three days and still did not seem to be feeling well at all but had to see some patients. We came on home and Kayla's temp crept on up. I did not feel alarmed about her temp though until Erika and I got home from church. She was alarmingly hot. I checked her and she was up to 104.2. I like fever, it is a normal defense mechanism that kills whatever is ailing you. God designed us to do it-but 104 and up is out of my comfort zone. I made her uncover and sit at the kitchen table and drink sprite. I still wasn't too stressed because she had been under two blankets for two hours and that makes a low fever high. Tylenol did not seem to touch it though so after some advisement from Dr. Telle, we put her in the bath and gave her ibuprofen. (I have been to the corner grocery three times today with the same checker each time!!) I can't remember the last time we had high fevers around here so I guess we are due for it. I hated that I had forgotten all the worry/non-worry zones. She is resting easy now at 101 after some chicken soup. Just broth and noodles tonight but I promised her the real stuff tomorrow.

I guess with the sickness and snow it is kind of good I never got around to asking the Tracy's over to dinner!! Next week!! I hope.

I learned today our co-op takes a break every so often(I vaguely remember something about a certain # of weeks and then a week off but I had forgotten) and we have that break next week. I am so happy because I was growing very weary. VERY WEARY. The break is just in time to catch up on some things that have really piled up-mainly the sky high pile of paper on my bar!!

I am so tired and ready to be snowed in...I hope it is a good one so Erik can be snowed in with us and our play gets cancelled.

TEXANS-Our visit is not completely mapped out yet, but will be during the time frame of March12th-23rd. We have not decided exactly how long we will spend each place but plan to visit at least an evening with each of our buddies. We have also added San Antonio to our list because we feel we just must "Do the San Antonio Stroll". Summer, Steph, find out if any museums in your area have free days and what they are!! I don't think Karri reads my blog. I will call you guys soon and see if there is a time that is best to visit with you. JettyBetty, I hope our paths can cross. I would love to spend some time with you and your perma-honey if we can possibly arrange it. Warning, my children are very outgoing and Lilly may head-butt you in the stomach before I can get a good hold on her. She's fun like that. The trick is not to give her any attention and she stays wrapped around my leg. Pat her head or ask her to give you five and it all goes downhill.

I am off to dreamland with visions of snowfall dancing in my head.

Arctic blast!

This morning as I dressed, I decided to wear my new blouse from our trip to Nashville. All of us girls got new shirts. Dad got to pay. (good times for dad) Actually Dad got a new drum case that cost lots more than our shirts cause we are bargain shoppers. We decided to go to 100 Oaks Mall in Nashville. Little did we know this mall only has about 7 stores. It was really depressing to see a two-story mall reduced to nothingness. But-there was a Burlington Coat factory with alot of clothes and we were all set.

Anyway, I digress. I put on my thin new blouse and then looked outside at the gorgeous brightly shining sun. I decided not to wear my coat. MISTAKE!!!! As I walked to the car I had the thought that it was kind of cool and I was sorry I had been fooled by the bright sun but I knew it was a short drive and it would only get warmer as the day wore on. WRONG! In the five minute drive to church, the one where the car does not get warm at all on polar bear weather days, I was chilled to the bone in the way you don't get over. So now after 10PM on Sunday night, I am still paying the price for not wearing a coat. I think the temp today was around 18 degrees and the wind chill was around 11. I am a fool. Luckily, my kids went with their Dad who is a faithful weather follower and so they were all appropriately attired.

I am battling some major faith/time/relationship issues of late and I need prayers. I am struggling in the busyness of my life still. I was smiling about a particular couple in church today and thought how nice it would be to have them over for a meal. I thought, YES! I should do that. Then I went over the week in my head and realized...one night. We have one night free this week. If hubby agrees, I am doing it anyway.

Secondly, I have really thought for the longest time that our church should be more focused on outreach and reaching the lost and I have gotten stuck in the "The church should" cycle. It is right where Satan wants me. I am trying to refocus on the "Janice should" cycle. I want to reach the lost people in my life. Our preacher talked about the fact that each one of us probably could make a list of all the names of lost people in our life. I decided I am going to do that. I am going to make a list and not only pray over them, but try to reach out to them in a relational way, not a religious way.

I think there are alot of people who are eager for closer relationships in my church. Why do we all keep going to the busiest people and expect them to make room for us? I really prefer our ministers to be ministering...I think they do to. Plus, our church is FULL of really neat people and think I am really missing out by not knowing them better.

Pray that I actually follow through on all of this and it isn't just another fleeting thought as I am prone to have and not act on. Lastly, I am falling behind on my Bible Study. I got several days behind and now am caught up to about 1 day behind. I don't want to fall behind again. Leviticus and Numbers are really hard to read. REALLY. I almost gave it up, but I have been blessed overall and I intend to "Just Do It!"

In other news, I was called self-righteous today and it really hurt my feelings. Badly. I don't think I am self-righteous at all. I struggle to feel somewhat forgiven most days. It concerns me that someone thinks I come across that way. I am praying that if there is truth to it, that it will be revealed to me and if there isn't, that person will see my heart, not whatever it is that is making them perceive me that way.

Friday Thirteen Favorite TV shows

Since most of yesterday was spent in Nashville and then with a crazy dog, there was not Thursday posting here! My 13 favorite TV shows.

1. BJ and the Bear (Greg Evigan/sp?/ was the man I wanted to marry) (There was a show with him and Paul Reiser called "My Two Dads" that I really liked alot too. That would be gay now.)

2. The Dukes of Hazard (I loved Luke, still think he's hot. Saw him up close at the summer festival a couple of years ago and he still is) (We actually played "Dukes" during recess)

3. Night Rider (NEVER thought David Hasselhoff was cute, but the idea of a car that drove itself was very appealing-and he was sucha smart alec. I had a crush on Kit)

4. The Facts of Life (This one should be number one)

5. Johnny Carson (I was a night owl even then. I loved him even when he bombed)

6. Dallas (I wanted to be Charlene Tilton)

7. The Cosby Show

8. Blossom (Still don't think Joey is cute...too goofy)

9. Remington Steele (I wanted to BE Laura)

10. Wonderwoman (had the underoos-loved them, wore them outside in summer to play. We lived in the middle of nowhere and I was very little)

11. Family Ties (I had a huge crush on Jason Bateman, forever...maybe still)

12. Gimme A Break (Joey was cute on this show!)

13. Silver Spoons (I wanted that train and that dad)

Runner Ups- Days of Our Lives...I never missed this show in summer. I loved Bo and Hope but loved Pete and Melissa more cause Pete was hotter.

Late night with David Letterman

Little House on the Prairie

Alfred Hitchcock's mystery show (Don't remember the name but I always watched it)

I should start this entry off by saying this. When I read Summer's post about her dog experience, I was finally able to grieve the loss of both of our dogs. We don't have the luxury of knowing what happened to them, they just disappeared from our yard, one before Christmas and the other a week or so after. I have missed them so much and every bone in my body just aches to love a dog again.

Thunder used to "knock" on the door when he returned from "working" at the corner store and I have checked the door repeatedly after thinking I heard him. Not only did we love Thunder, but all of this town loved Thunder, he even made it to our small town parade last year. My hope is that someone thought he was a stray because of his "route" and took him in and made him a housedog. He came home to us every night and was a housedog, sometimes all day for two or three days-but then he wanted to do his route. We are in the coutry so he could. He also went to jail a couple of times and we bailed him out-worth every penny and we have checked, he is not there. Thunder was a people person, he would go and live with anyone. He always came home to us, but we knew he was a player and spent time with other families.

Buddy the wonder dog was different. He just showed up in our yard and slowly won us over enough to let him move in the house and our hearts. He also became a halfway house dog and loved us to pieces. He was a chocolate lab and he NEVER left us. When we left, he waited on the front porch. I know he did not leave our yard and worry what could have happened. He was very protective and did not like strangers. It took him a while to warm up to all of us and then we were his pack, he did not even like other dogs-just Thunder and the cats. We were his all.

So there you have it, I love all the critters. I am a dog person though. I have always had one(off and on) and just love their big old lovey eyes. They just are a gift from God that love you as big as there little hearts can hold. Cats are different. While I love them, I know they just rely on me for the food stuff and to keep me doing that and the litter box, they occassionally snuggle on their terms. They don't pine for us when we are gone, they play chase and sleep on the kitchen table.

All of this to say, that we heard of a family that had a Wiemeraner stray into their yard. They had had the dog for two weeks and were looking for a home for it. I got the number and came home and did all the research I could on them. Everything sounded typically doggy except that they are high energy-so are my kids, and they are what's nicknamed, "the velcro doggy" because they never want to leave your sight. That really appealed to me. They are also a large breed house dog. That appealed to me. The only concern we had was that they are very instinctive hunters and will hunt squirrels, rabbits, mice, moles and CATS. Every website cautioned they would hunt cats. Except two, one of those said they would tolerate cates if introduce as a puppy to them along with the family. This dog was like Buddy in that he is still a pup, but mostly full grown. After we got home from Erika's doctor appointment in Nashville yesterday (All went great, she is just supposed to be little, no health problems!! YEAH!!), we went to meet "Jack". Jack was so sweet and so pretty. The most laid back dog. The girls and I were all over him petting and loving him. Then he saw Erik and went over to him and made sure to include him too. He won us all over. He had gorgeous eyes and the softest ears in the world. We all had great expectations. We let him in our front door where sat two kitties waiting to greet him. He growled and bolted. I had a good hold of him and we finally managed to get all kitties in the garage. He did sort of ok after that. He was a velcro dog but he stuck to both Erik and I and seemed to be upset until we were all three in the same room. He peed in the floor and stopped when I siad to and then we went outside. The first of I know 15 trips outside to pee. I could tell he was AWAKENED, the hunter within him wanted to explore and sniff and be let loose to hunt kitty. When we went to bed, just like the website said he jumped right in the middle of the bed and we thought it was so sweet, except he could not stop hunting cats. He would get down, go check under the garage door. Pace around, lay down near it. Then come back to bed, sniff our faces and curl into a ball. This happened about 10 times. A big giant jumping onto the bed and sniffing our face and then collapsing onto us is not condusive to sleep. 10 times. At 4 AM he hopped down and started to pee. I said "NO" and took him outside, where he was very enthusiastic and wanted to pee everywhere. I am not a morning person normally, but with no sleep, even less so. At 5 AM, I put his leash back on him and took him back. There were no lights on and I knew he had been staying outside all day while she was at work so he would be ok. I planned to come home, sleep til my alarm went off at 7:30 and then call her. I did that. They had already brought him back in and she said he was slepping like the dead in her bed. I told her he was exhausted from hunting the cats all night and I was so sorry it did not work. He is a great loving dog-that cannot be mixed with the kitties.

I hope my husband, who has no sleep for the day either will forgive me soon. I am also kind of over the dog thing for a little while too. Maybe after we get back from the Texas Vacation in March.

Five Things You Don't Know About Me

Sandy (see side-links) tagged me and since I take tagging so serious....

1. I don't "Love Lucy" or any other old sit-com. I also have a hard time watching old movies. I have never seen "It's A Wonderful Life" but have attempted it MANY times.

2. I am unable to learn music. It is VERY hard for me, verging on impossible. Harmony Road 2 has me as lost as an easter egg. AND...I don't want to learn it!!

3. I have no desire to learn to water-ski or snow-ski. I would love to learn to ice skate though. This is very unlikely since my roller-skating skills are so poor.

4. I have struggled with my weight since about age 8. However, I never went on a diet until I was in my mid-20's. Dieting made me FAT. Before that, I was just kinda chubby.

5. I had carpal tunnel surgery on both of my hands 2 years ago. One during Christmas, the other at the end of January. It worked and I am grateful to God and Phillip Hunt(surgeon).

Tags to my link list and Steph!

Excuse my personal correspondence!

Julie-yes it is. We have two now. I no longer have my old email addys because we switched computers and then our monitor died on the old one. We update our address books as we get email from people. ( : Hook me up as a reader, I've already been there and felt a little left out in the cold!!

Monday, Monday

My favorite and least favorite day. I love it because it is a fresh unspoiled week. All plans are new and un-procrastinated. However, with scouts and many other meetings on Monday, it takes some of the fresh fun feel away. We also had a bowling day today which I did make it to. It only takes an hour(sometimes less) and is alot of fun. I get to talk my head off while the kiddos are completely occupied.

Now, I have a horrible confession to make. I cannot remember names anymore. It is very embarrassing. This happened many times at bowling today. It is so hard to connect and remember a name when you only see someone once a month! I rely on my children so much to help me with the kids names and then sometimes I tell them to go ask the kids what their Mom's name is and threaten their lives if they rat me out. Unless I have had a thoroughly bonding experience with another family or spent about 2 years with constant exposure to a name, I can't remember them. I am scared to death this is an early sign of dementia. I also things like "Go put these clothes in the dishwasher...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!!! DO IT!" This is all part of my plan to make my children not only brilliant, but also mind readers. Please tell me you do it too, OR let me know so I can get started on one of those preventive drug plans.

My word verification is: bxysx Sounds kind of square!!

Wintry Mix

This is the forecast we have received for this weekend. Frankly, it looks exactly like the same rain we have been getting for days. Many, many, many days. We did have a few dry and cold days, but alas, wintry mix(rain) has returned.

Erik has been off all weekend and we have thoroughly enjoyed spending large amounts of time with him. It will be very odd for him to get up and go to work tomorrow. We have not had territory disputes this set of days off and I am very thankful. We have not been on schedule really either and alot of catching up will have to be accomplished tomorrow.

I am behind on my Bible study because Leviticus is a really hard read. I am finally into Numbers and not feeling very optimistic about it. This must be where I stopped reading before!! Just kidding, I don't think I have ever gotten through Genesis before in a "read your Bible all the way through" program. 90 days is the clencher for me. In 90 days I will be done-that is a goal I can wrap my brain around.

Another observation I have about Exodus/Leviticus...Temples had to be hard to be in. With all that bloodshed/slaughtering and sacrificial burning. I'm imagining a smell somewhere between a meat shop and BBQ pit with a side of burning grain. So many rules and regulations to break!

Thank you God for Jesus and the ultimate sacrifice!! I am glad to be alive in this day and age even though sometimes the complications of this world wear me down. I am thankful I don't have to go before a priest with an animal sacrifice everytime I sin. The animal population is thankful as well! With that said, if it cost you a fine animal-which was your livelihood- each time you sinned, it would stand to reason most sins just would not be worth it.

If I could only imagine my sins as nails into the hands and feet of Jesus(and they were/are), I would draw the same conclusion. Sometimes I forget. I hate that.

Too much Sqawk box!

I have learned some awful things from the squawk box(TV) that I wish to unlearn. I was watching a TV show (20/20) about consumer debt and how America is drowning in it. Then they go on from there to talk about Screech from Saved by the Bell ( I was a faithful viewer) now has a sex tape and goes to "Adult" conferences to "market" his "accidental" sex tape. What happened to the poor kids on that show...they have all gone onto troubling careers. Child Actors shouldn't be allowed. It seldom turns out well.

Secondly, on the other squawk box(radio), I learn that a legislator from California(OF COURSE) is trying to get a bill passed that outlaws any sort of physical discipline-spanking, swatting, hand-smack-on children 3 and under. WHAT!!? That is all you have for kids about 12 months-3. You can't exactly reason with them or appeal to their common sense. I nearly fell on the floor laughing as she stated that we need to follow the examples of daycares and schools who do not use any corporal punishment. OH MY!! Is that a success train we want to board?? The violence level at schools has reached epic proportions. I blame it all on the fact that Miss Teacher can't drag you out into the hall with a witness, paddle your behind, bring tears to your eyes and then seal it all off with you having to walk back to your desk in front of 25 horrified other students. That my friends is some power you don't want to mess with. AND YES, I received my fair share, the last one in seventh grade and my respect was fully developed and I wasn't interested in having that joy repeated in high school.

I am praying for our country!! Crazy people are in charge and I just hope the ordinary people don't wash their hands of politics and quit voting. There is a battle not only of right and wrong but NORMAL versus FREAKY HUMAN RIGHTS PEOPLE. People who believe your 0-36 month old should have more rights than you as a parent. Pray and vote for conservatives who believe you should pay less taxes, discipline your children, and who won't allow your pre-teen and teen "reproductive rights" until she is old enough to vote for them.

Okay, I switched to beta blogger, redecorated and put a pic above my profile. I wish it were smaller. My daughter, Kayla, took the picture. It is a little blurry but that may be best.

This probably doesn't come across on bloglines if that is how you read.

Post more later, I am PC partying tonight...wish me good luck and see my website just in case you need to order...wwwDOTpamperedchefDOTbiz/chefjanice. Click on Karen Lichtenberg if you want to help her daughter go to the UK and Ireland. This will be removed soon and I don't think it is kosher to directly link my site.

Today in co-op, I learned the procedure for "substitute teachers". We had a lady out because her son was sick. It was very smooth. These ladies have thought of everything. I am benefitting from years of experience. I am glad I didn't have to start it. I fully appreciate them all.

I had some tense moments with my middle child today. She was soooo disrespectful when I was teaching Botany as a "sub" and art as the teacher. I wanted to throttle her. We have had many lectures. M.A.N.Y. She has been such a dream student in other classes which means nothing to me if she starts sporting a 'tude. We got no patience for 'tudes. 'Tudes are why we homeschool(reason #37). I hope the "attitude adjustment" has put her in proper perspective...and the "I brought you into this co-op and I can take you out" speech.

So the end of my day was kind of high stress. As are the end of all my days until the end of my days, I suppose. Some day I will look back on all of this and miss it. Seems impossible. I probably won't miss the 'tude days. I will miss the polite and respectful behavior since lecture #5, it has been above and beyond and I am thankful.

Church tonight and pampered chef party tomorrow night. YEAH!!! A party. I love my job and the temporary separation it affords me from the day to day. I hope I sell a million dollars worth of PC products as this is a fund-raiser for a good friend's daughter to have the ultimate field trip in the UK and Ireland. Let me know if you need anything-I can ship anywhere!

Also, I need to rant a little that my good friend moved to Abilene which is way south and is enjoying SNOW while we just got incredibly cold weather. Totally unfair. Isn't Texas supposed to be hot and dry, not cold and snowy. Do Texans even own a coat? Steph, mail us a snowball-ok!!

Hope you have a great church service or family night, whichever the case may be.

Who me?

Yes, me. Keeping up with my homework and enjoying it. I am sort of notorious for not keeping up with my Bible studies. Usually because I am already so over-committed and then a Bible Study with daily homework on top of that puts me right over the edge. It has been great to only have the nightly readings and a little bit of online discussion. Reading the Bible parts each night has had me forsaking late night TV and SNACKING and I have been getting to bed at a decent hour...10 one night.By 11 every night. Since my bedtime had creeped up to 1-1:30 this is a great improvement.

I am also trying to be more careful what I eat, hoping to lose a little weight. OR a lot. OKAY A WHOLE LOT, but I am willing to do it slowly. Like a pound a year ha ha. By the time I am 80 I will be very thin.

I am off to take on the day. The kids say it is snowing...I don't want to miss that because I am on the 'puter.

Funny thing...

During de-lurking week, I had no extra time...at all...and so I don't think I de-lurked on anyones post except my actual "I know them" daily reads. I think that is funny. Put my $20 in the offering plate today and my daughter Erika was surprised to see actual "big money" cash go into the offering plate. Made me feel bad that we usually give in checks which really doesn't mean anything to them. And actually, my hubby puts them in so they just see me putting in lower denominations.

Hubby and kids are watching "King Kong". I am passing. It appears to be too scary in many parts based on how many times they have left the room screaming only to go right back when it(scary scene)is over. I better rest up for when they awake screaming with nightmares later. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

Sermon all about marriage today complete with a survey slip to be filled out by both parties. Ordinarily I would be all over that like white on rice. I have decided to let him take the lead if anything comes of that. I think I can pretty much guarantee the topic will not be revisited. I am just focusing on reading the Bible, being faithful to God and trying to be happy in that. I can only change myself, I can't force someone to take a role they don't want.

Through the Bible in 90 Days is a study that is supposed to allow you to just read straight through the Bible without taking notes or doing in-depth study. The purpose of this is two-fold, you earmark places you want to come back to to study and it gives you a general overview of the entire Bible. Also the short time-frame prevents getting bogged down and quitting halfway through the year. I am excited. I can't believe I have never read the Bible through, but I have not. Perhaps, through my different Bible studies I have come close-but that only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades. I may do this in place of the Ladies Bible study at my church since I have so many other irons on the fire right now [co-op, girl scouts, girl scout cookies, pampered chef, upward basketball practices and games X 3 girls, homeschool(complete with "outings" and daily grind), mt washmore, cooking and cleaning]. They don't look so bad written out but it is a full-time adventure and more than I really want to be involved in.

Today was the first day of Upward Basketball games and I really enjoyed it. This was Lilly's first game ever and she was not scared of the ball and she paid attention and hustled. She does the cutest little dances that mostly make it hard for her to accomplish things like dribbling and shooting but it does increase her exercise which is the main reason for us being involved to begin with. She had a blast and loves it very much.

Erika and Kayla's game was a little more competitive. Erika hasn't lost her "edge" since last season. She was still very quick up and down the floor and even scored a basket. This is her third year and she does well. She gets the concept and despite being the smallest on her team, gets in there and is an asset to the team. Kayla is only playing for the second year and is getting good at dribbling and is losing her fear of the ball(specifically-someone taking the ball while she is dribbling which is a real fear!). She made some shots and even got a couple of free throws. She did not score any points, but it takes a while to master shooting. ESPECIALLY free throws. It takes such a perfect shot and everyone is looking and sooooo much pressure.

I played basketball both years of middle school and did well. I loved it and I still do. My favorite of all the sports until it gets into politics and money and then I just want to puke. It is fun when it is just a game and nobody cares who your parents are. I watched many a good player sit the bench whose parents weren't a "booster" while other so-so players from money played all they could stand. Then of course, the shining stars who were both excellent ballplayers and had money. The story of life- a level playing field is nice but not usually achievable. OOOOH, that makes me sound like a democrat...I don't believe the field can be leveled though so that makes me a realist. People who play on an unlevel playing field on the downside win the character game and that is really the only one that counts.

$16, but I am rounding up to $20.

That is about what I expected...I am no super blog star. Miss zoot is in for way more than that, over $300.

Caught up on my "Reading the Bible in 90 days" online bible study. Not totally caught up, but did 2 1/2 days reading. I was three days late getting the reading assignments so I don't feel bad. I have never read the entire Bible, so I am really excited to participate in it.

Going to bed now...sleep is necessary for my lifestyle!

Today is the end...

...of national de-lurking week. All you have to do is just say hi. All comments rake in a cool one dollar bill for my church over and above our normal contribution. Thanks for playing.

Today is a new day and I went to bed at a more reasonable hour last night and I am vowing to try and do that more often. AND maybe reform some of my housekeeping ways so that we are not "living like pigs" even though I am quite positive somone has never seen how pigs live because really, there is no comparison. We are just messy, strowing things about and piling up things on flat surfaces. We don't live in filth. I used to babysit for a family that lived in filth and when I compare to them we are living in nearly sterile surroundings.

Happy Friday.

The line to resign?

Today is one of those days when I would go and resign if there were such a place. Erik and I are not much in the way of a team. Ordinarily, it sort of works for us. When he has a day off though, unless we depart from the norm and go have a fun family day, I feel like a complete failure in all areas. Things that don't bother him when he comes home from work really DO bother him when he is home all day. This usually leads to some lovely utterance about the house or my house-cleaning abilities which don't even come close to his Mom's. He doesn't say this, he just sort of gives everything a disapproving look. Then I am angry because of all the ways I am involved in the girls lives, homeschooling, scouts, church, social events-through homeschool group and other places. I am involved and some times in charge of a great many things all in addition to the house stuff. I don't "farm" anything out-it is all me. So I tend to be very hurt that this is not acknowledged, the smiles and acknowledgement come only from a clean house day. REALLY STINKS when the clean house days are so few and far between.

I am trying to do better, but if the house is to always be clean, school and housework are all we can do. This would not suit our little social offspring-or me. We sort of need people and going places-ALOT. We all get a little crazy with too many stay at home days in a row. So today, with all things considered, I really just wanted to walk out and never come back. I took a nap instead and I feel much better. Tomorrow is a new day.

$10...and I am counting all of them since Monday!

I am going to bed to think about my superblogstardom. Good thing my church didn't plan a new wing or something!!

Empathy for smokers??


First, a reminder to delurk!! I will make a contribution(over and above my usual contribution) based on this weeks commentors-so speak up!! It is de-lurking week.

Today, I had an unusual wave of empathy for, of all people, smokers. It happened while I was driving from my homemakers meeting to Lilly's music class (cause I am a stay-at-home mom). The lesson today was on eating healthier and also new year's resolutions. I did not resolve to lose weight this year as an official resolution but I did resolve last year to eat healthier and lose weight. I really thought last year that I would be sitting here today half of my former self-but I am the same minus one tiny insignificant pound. Alot of people in my club have lost or are losing weight. I decided this must be how it feels when you are still a smoker after all your friends quit. But I do smell like chocolate not a cigarette so I guess that is different.

De-lurker week...

For more details, go to Miss Zoot. From what I make of it, if you de-lurk, then I make a donation of $1 to the charity of my choice. This sounds great. I have a little extra money in my Pampered Chef account from overrides on my commission statement so I will commit.

I will donate $1 to Reidland Church of Christ for every de-lurker. This is my home church and it is VERY benevolent. We help underprivileged school kids with anything needed, including-but not limited to-Christmas, school supplies, head lice supplies, and food. This is an all year endeavor.(That's for you Steph). The church also has members that they help with finances from time to time along with all the drop-ins who come and ask our church for assistance. In addition we help finance a school of preaching in Dubai in the middle-east. We reach out and we have accountability and follow-up programs in place as well for anyone we help. It is a worthy charity!! Kind of like United Way without the huge salaries and giant overhead.

So DE-LURK!! Leave a comment if you read this even if I know you are a regular reader.

****Edited to extend the deadline to this entire week, I will see how many comments I get in a week! I feel so popular!

Blabbermouth, Extraordinare!

I have never met a stranger. Since birth. My mom says I was a big talker from the beginning. Talking for a reason, to make a friend. I made friends everywhere I went, the store, vacations, of course-school, church and really everywhere. I see myself in my children who also do the same. There is no ulterior motive and never has been. This is not to say it went without rewards. People often show generosity to people who exhibit friendliness. So occassionally being rewarded as a child by some doting adult-type simply because I was outgoing probably cemented being a "chatty-cathy"-I am too young to know about these dolls but I was called this frequently so I must have just missed them. (My husband had two very serious relationships with two different Cathy's-not sure if it was c or k, and ended up marrying a "chatty cathy" with a good friend named Kathy who babysits our little darlings-funny huh?)

SO, all of that to say I am positively a motor-mouth. I love to talk. I love when people talk to me. I love to read, I love to write. I love words and spend hours looking at them, saying them, laughing at them.

Today, however, as I spoke up in Sunday school class and said, "Do our church services and traditions please us and our wills or are they pleasing to God and helping to do his will?"(probably alot less clear than that!) during a conversation about the will of God, hubby, who was in class with me today totally died a little inside. He believes in the smile and remain silent principle. Later he told me how mean-spirited that sounded towards our church and what did I even mean? I found this very troubling because I was not being critical of our church specifically, but churches generally(myself included) that get lost in programs and such instead of God's plan as I understand it-of reaching the lost. I spent the rest of church feeling like quite a failure because, clearly, I am not an effective communicator. I don't always come across with what I am trying to say. My friends have learned my personality and my bluntness and know "what I really mean". My husband, not so much. There are other people who I know don't like my company because of that bluntness as well. They don't "get" me. Perhaps this is why I love blogging so much. It is an opportunity to expound upon who I am and what I believe without dominating a conversation(which I try really hard not to do but I KNOW that I do). Even with blogging though, it happens. People read something one way, I didn't mean it that way. It happens with the spoken language as well. It is troubling. I want to be a better communicator. Speak clearly and not be vague or unclear. I don't seek to criticize but I do seek to make things better-push things to the next level-be more intense. It often comes across as just critical. Sometimes, it probably is and might be the heart of a comment if I am honest with myself. I know today that it was not. I think our church earnestly seeks to do God's will.

I try really hard to not only listen to what someone says but also what they mean by it. What is the motive behind it? Do I disagree or agree immediately or do I need to give it some thought? I like for my opinions to be challenged and I like to challenge the opinions of others (Iron sharpening iron). I like to test for soft hearts or concrete ones with no room for change. I like to really "get"(understand) someone if at all possible. I don't automatically love every one I meet, but I still love finding out all I can about them and seeing what makes them tick and marvelling at the way God made us all so completely different. I am fascinated with people. To the core, always have been. I love making a stranger my friend. This is how I share the gospel, the good news. I actually had the nickname preacher for a while in 4th grade because I really want everyone to know about Christ and go to heaven. To me it is like a cure for cancer and I can't keep it to myself. God and Jesus have always been the best thing that ever happened to me. His people have been really good to me my whole life. I very seldom come across that way though, why is that?? I know my heart, why do I come across so different?

It breaks my heart that my hubby was offended by my comment. It breaks my heart that I offend him nearly every day and I am not certain that he seeks to understand me because I offend him too often. I wish he talked more and allowed me more insight into his world and his perception. Nothing frustrates a blabbermouth more than the strong silent type-or passive aggressive as I refer to it. This too shall pass and most assuredly, this too shall come around again!! Some of you that know me best can definitely read into this that I need some feedback. I LOVE criticism in the form of constructive. This usually involves criticism that is truth. I can take it and would probably grow from it. Fire away.

**Have I mentioned I hate word verification??

RE-RUN FROM 2006...

Monday, May 15, 2006

TWELVE YEARS!! I can hardly believe it. Yesterday was both Mother's Day and My hubby and I celebrated year 12 of our marriage. We never thought we would make it. I still can't believe we have. We are still having the same fights we have always had, with a little less intensity, and neither one of us leaves. We just sort of say the script and go to bed. I dream of eliminating the script and writing a new script where each of us is more thoughtful of the other and less thoughtful of ourselves, but I think it is not going to happen. In my fantasy world, he tells me I am right and he is so lucky to have such a wonderful wife and I am totally right on all counts and he will make all changes necessary to ensure domestic tranquility. I tell him I haven't appreciated him enough and he is my knight in shining armor. We then live happily ever after. Of course, on many counts I am totally right and yet totally wrong. You see, I am not a kind and loving companion. I am moody and unpleasant when things do not go the way I think they should. I have no healthy role model of marriage so the ideal in my head is really tough to compare us to-Cosby/Family Ties/Roseanne/Little House on the Prairie/The Waltons all rolled into one. I can say that when I look around at the marriages that did not make it I am amazed that we did. I am amazed that although we have hurt each other many times, we still go on. Marriage is so hard and harder still are the expectations that I have. I look around at church and I see so many others that seem to be so stinking perfect. Do we seem perfect to those looking at us? Is this the lie we all buy into, everyone is happier than us?

I hate housework and the way it totally never gets done despite the fact that 75% of my time is spent on it. I could just accept that and go on with life, but I have not given up the dream of an organized house yet. I wish I could say I spend so much time having fun with the kids that it just doesn't get done, but the truth is, I work at it all the time. I feel like such a complete failure. I can organize the snot out of an activity but I can't find a home for all the things in our home and keep it tidy. Is this truly rocket science? My frustration with my inabilities projects onto my husband. His frustration with time management projects onto his wife. It makes for a constant source of strife and unappreciativeness on all sides. We can each see the speck in one another's eye and yet are completely unwilling to acknowledge or remove the plank from our own. Through it all I guess we have matching stubborn streaks that will not allow us to entertain the notion of giving up. And love. We passionately love each other even with our lovely assortment of faults. I wonder if we are doing our children justice sometimes, but I guess that side of marriage-the stick to it part is as much a life lesson as any other.

I digress. Part of me wants to go back and delete all of that, but the other part of me will need to read that again. I love my husband with all of my heart. We have been through alot of tough trials that in some ways have made us stronger than we ever thought we could be but in other ways, eroded our foundation in a way that really hasn't been rebuilt. I can't imagine life without him. I do want him to make changes for the better, but I fully realize I need to make changes for the better as well. We are playing the "you change first and then I will" game. I wonder who will go first!

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
Jumped in the deep end of the pool for the first time conquering a 34 yr old fear of the water.

Went to Disneyworld for the first time...loved it.

Watched one of my children be baptized.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I resolved to declutter-I have done that. I still have more to do but I accomplished ALOT!

I resolved to put paint that was bought on the walls-I did that as well. Not all of it but 50% of it.

I resolved to lose weight. As of Jan 1, I weighed about 1 lb less than last year.

YEAH-RAH, Go me for keeping all of my resolutions to some extent.

This year I resolve to spend more time with the important people in my life.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Many friends did, but no close relatives.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, two of Erik's uncles.

5. What countries did you visit?
USA

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
More patience, a more organized living space and less anger.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm not good with actual DATES but I have alot of wonderful memories!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Giving up the dream of being the perfect mom, wife and housecleaner. I still strive to do my best, but I no longer beat myself up when it doesn't go well. I also killed the "perfect homeschool day" with a large stick and then threw it on the fire!!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I did not enjoy life enough. I stressed and caused stress.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing radical.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
We have made alot of purchases that were wise, well thought out decisions. That feels good.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Erika getting baptized was certainly monumental!!

Our soldiers in Irag are very awesome.

Bush has done the best job humanly possible considering all the crap he is faced with every day


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Christians. We are such a cliche' group. I want to be more, reach more, really share the good news. Ease heartache, apply the balm of Gilead more often.


14. Where did most of your money go?
Into our house. The best place for it.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The new mercies I get from God every morning.


16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

?? Can't think of one that spans the year or provokes memories for me.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
Happier, thinner(by 1 small pound), richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Played with my kids.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Tv, computer, laundry(hee hee)

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With family four nights and days in a row and loved it.

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
I fell in love in 1993 with an awesome fella, married him in 1994 and don't plan on doing it again with anyone else but him.

22. How many one-night stands?
WHAT?? 0 : )

23. What was your favorite TV program?

There are many. Too too many.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I kind of hated someone last year, but I prayed for her all year and now I kind of like her even though she still hates me. No, I don't hate anyone. The devil, is he "anyone"?

25. What was the best book you read?
THe Yada Yada Prayer group series was the best.

Dr Laura's Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands was most life changing.

Short a,e,i,o, and u have been real good as well. (HEE HEE!)

CULTURE WARRIOR, but I read it over the span of two years,(Dec-Jan)!!

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I learned about whole notes, half notes, quarter notes. I also learned whole rests and half rests. I know there is a treble clef and a base clef. I learned alot at Harmony Road 1 with Lilly.

27. What did you want and get?
A rug in my living room. New curriculum.

28. What did you want and not get?
A bookstore of my very own downtown with our living quarters upstairs.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Can't say that I had one.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 34 and had a shrimp boil with my family and in-laws. The best tradition in the world.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

We would have won the war in Iraq and had an explosion of patriatism in America. Republicans would have won all their elections and got in session and made real conservative changes that we could all see.


32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Comfortable.

33. What kept you sane?
Homeschool support group meetings and wonderful friendships developed there.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Don't we all know the answer here?? Bill O'Reilly

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Departure from American traditional values

36. Who did you miss?

My friend Beth Sturm. I think about her almost every day.
All of my friends that I am out of contact with for whatever reason.


37. Who was the best new person you met?

Stephanie S.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I can only imagine...

INSANE!!

Maybe I should make a new year's resolution to go to bed at a decent hour. I got on here to check out my blog from last night and make sure it was coherent since I blogged after 1 AM. Two of you fellow early risers had already read it...good thing it checked out OK.

Jettybetty asked me about civil unions. These are set up to allow things like hospital visitation when family tries to deny visits to a gay lover, insurance with some companies, and after death rights. I don't have a problem with it. I understand the reasoning and rationale behind them. I have had many gay friends in my life and I have nothing but compassion for them. I do not believe it is a happy-go-lucky life choice. I think there are awful struggles and it is very rare for them to have lengthy life-enhancing relationships. I have never known a gay woman, but I know gay men are very promiscuous and seldom have lengthy monagamous relationships. The sexual relations that they must participate in are damaging to the body. Plus, marriage between a man and a woman is more than just sex and physical attraction. This is why marriages can survive affairs and then be stronger because of it. Marriage should be harder to get into and certainly harder to get out of.

Marriage is not for same sex couples. I don't even know why gays want it, probably they all don't. Marriage is a Godly design. It is a gift from our creator to have a help-meet. An opposite that complements and makes us better. IT is for men and women who make a vow til death do us part. It is about procreation and having a stable environment to raise and nurture children. That said, I don't agree with the flippant way marriage is treated. Divorce should be next to impossible to get in my humble opinion. You should have to jump through hoops, have waiting times, couseling in order to end a marriage. What Hollywood has done to marriage is despicable. It has made a trend of "I love you until you don't make me happy anymore!". I don't know about you, but that was not one of my vows. My vows sounded real sweet but they have been real hard to live by. My husband is the love of my life and I might not have fully appreciated that had we not been through hard times when I did not even like him anymore. It became the vow before God and family to stick with him that got us through. On the other side?? Wow, I sure am glad we made it because my husband is not perfect, but he is perfect for me.


Wow, that is some heavy fare early in the morning...oh wait it isn't early anymore. I am off to make breakfast. I am a walking zombie because Steph and I talked on the phone for 100 hours last night. I hate it that Abilene is so far away. I love it that we will get to visit in March-I hope!! We did not even get around to that. I was ready to bring it up when my phone battery died and apparently hers did as well. It is time to shut up when your batteries die! I enjoyed our talking Steph, call me anytime. I'll try to keep the phone charged up.

Totally different topic...for those of you who read Mike Cope's blog, you must go to my friend Bret's blog and listen to the you tube "Mike Cope Sings the Classics". Way too funny!!

POLITICS AND RELIGION?

I finished Bill O'Reilly's book, THE CULTURE WARRIOR. It is as awesome as I knew it would be. He brings to light a strange dance we Christian traditionalists have to dance. Where do we separate ourselves in the church/state arena? Do we? I believe the founders of our government were Godly men and I believed God has blessed and will continue to bless the work that they did. I also believe you cannot have allegiance to both God and country in the same way. God is jealous and demands no others before him. I also know that he blessed nations that went to war for their country. What position does God want me to take as a believer in this day and age? What am I to do in such a time as this?

I have great issues with AFA and their militant stance against homosexuals. Love the sinner, hate the sin is my motto. My sins are just as ugly as the sins of homosexuals. However, I don't believe they should marry so I support the work AFA is doing to prevent that. It is such a tightrope to walk. I hate that Christianity is know by non-Christians as bigoted and holier-than-thou. When I ask myself, WWJD?, I don't think he would run print and radio commercials against the sinners. I think he would be in their company and talking with them. I think he would extend grace and love, but also, INTOLERANCE for the sin. He rebuked the woman at the well very gently after he had already shown her mercy and acceptance with, "Go and sin no more." We are not loving people. We are holed up in our little churches just waiting for the sinners to come through our doors and then we will love them, and train them and keep them for our very own. Is this the model of Christ? Was he always in a building with a few friends waiting for people to come or did he actually dare to mingle with the sinners? We need some changes in the body of Christ and it ain't just a more comtemporary worship service!!

Random and Odd...

Co-op was great. I loved every minute of it and I am revitalized. Kayla wants to be student of the year. She is so refocused on school, I am encouraged that this was the right thing to do for our family. Erika and Lilly are very excited as well! Erik is elated, he knew we needed a pick-me-up to get us back on track. He LOVES the hard homework. LOVES it. It isn't really all that hard, just comprehensive-which is a good thing.

Once again, I worried needlessly and made mountains of molehills. I think I expected that my elementary kids were going to law school where they would be ten years behind everyone else and at the end of the day, all the other co-op moms would look at me and say, "What did you do to make your children so behind in school? They all have to go back to kindergarten." Or something like that. So it turns out, we are right on track with the rest of the co-op world and thankfully God blessed me with kids who catch on to things relatively easy so they will do OK. Also, these Moms were very kind and graceful, not judging, but equipping. AND they are going to let me teach the big kids art. And they KNOW I only have three years of college and did not get a degree(What if they don't know?? I should not have wrote that!!). I'm not worthy...hee hee.

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Our relative who wishes to remain anonymous is still hospitalized and needs prayers. God knows who this person is so please pray!! There are so many health issues to be tapdanced around, I feel better about it all if I know others are petitioning!! This is forcing some issues on others as well, so it is a bit of a tough time for everyone. Sorry so vague...please just pray.

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Janice's movie reviews:

The Devil Wears Prada- Excellent, watched it with the kids. There is a speck or two of bad language but this is a well done movie. Good message and Meryl Streep is totally awesome. Anne Hathaway(I think?) too. I loved it.

Click-Not a kid movie at all, did not let them watch it. TOO TOO much sexual content. Sadly, as with all Adam Sandler movies, they are good and don't need the trash but they put it in anyway. We like MOST of his movies but always wish he left the garbage at the curb. Good movie,laughed alot, great message. Go Fonzie!!

Million Dollar Baby-Well I just knew I would not like this movie, I mean, come on-BOXING??? As it began, I had no intent on getting involved in it. It sucked me in like a hoover. Wonderful story, a great father-daughter type relationship that DID NOT TURN and make me throw up. I loved it so much. Not a kid movie in my opinion but I don't remember alot of bad language and there were no gutter scenes. Thank you Clint Eastwood.

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Any Texans reading this blog? I think we are looking at the 3rd and 4th week in March to do the Texas whirlwind tour. Whee!! Please find the cheapest/nicest/closest hotel in your vicinity and get back to me with hardcore facts so we can book it!! A pool would be nice, indoor. Hot tub in the room a nice plus. Free breakfast too. All the bells and whistles, but cheap.

Last but not least, endeavor is spelled with an o not an e. I think I knew that. Yikes!! Thanks for editing me Steph. I can take it! But THEN, don't leave me waiting by the phone with no ring. ) : Hee hee!! Maybe you were watching Million Dollar Baby as well? We will talk soon. Like maybe tonight after 9. You have 15 minutes and then I'm calling you!

****I hate when it takes me more than one try with the word verification.****

Wow!! What a new year!! We are already at a frantic pace. Spent some time visiting a relative in the hospital on Jan 1. Had my mom and stepfather over for ham, cabbage, black-eyed peas, cornbread and of course, mac & cheese. Mom made the cornbread and all was good. Lilly went home with mom for some spoiling and we are still working on getting that out of her. ( :

Yesterday, we took an unplanned trip to Nashville to the drum store, Forks, so Erik could make some purchases from Clay and also sell some drums to a friend of Clay's. It was a good day, the kids did not destroy anything and were actually very well behaved considering we were there for 1 hour and a half.

Then came the "cool" mall. Opry Mills. We were able to find a few great bargains and then had delicious supper at the best restaurant in the world, Macaroni Grill. We are having it for breakfast right now.

Today is co-op and we are all excited and nervous. I hope it goes well. I have 5 pre K and Ks for two hours. I hope I can keep them leveled off for that amount of time!! Oh yeah, teaching them something would be cool too! Hee Hee. Prayers please for me and my girls, that we fit in and succeed at our new endeaver.