Friday, August 28, 2009

Dear Blogger,

Dear Blogger,

I have to tell you, it's not you it's me. I just can't seem to find time to spend with you lately. My feelings for you have not changed at all. I still heart you in a passionate consuming way. However, lately I am finding time only to write hilarious posts in my head. Then once I finally get around to spending time with you, it's all seriousness and book reviews.

I'll understand if you want it to be over, but I am really hoping we can get through this rough patch.

Longer letter later, really!! I mean it!

Much Ado About Nothing,

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The Thinker

Even though it is really time to shut down the thinker, I'm going to leave it on for a bit. You are probably JUST DYING to know the thoughts I have in my brain right now!! In no particular order:
  • I am so not doing well with school.
  • Being on the PATCH homeschool support group board is turning into a little bit more of a job than I thought it would be. It will get better as things get more established but GEEZ!!
  • One of my friends is going to take my 3 girls and do some PE and science with them this Wednesday just for fun. I love it. See how big I'm smiling?? Trust me, I'm smiling big.
  • I am having a yard sale with my friend Amanda this weekend. I know I swore off of them forever, but we will have a total blast. I am looking forward to it and hoping...other friends join as well.
  • 2 weeks is a looooong time for Hubby to be on staycation. I love him but he is breaking our routines all over the place...because I am just not as motivated to do school when he is home. See, I am kind of owning the blame.
  • My house is a wreck and it is very possible we will not have clean clothes in the morning. I declare pajama day!!
  • John and Sandy let us pick tomatoes in their bountiful tomato patch/garden. Woohoo, we will have BLT-oh who are we kidding- BT sandwiches with wonderful homegrown tomatoes. Our garden has produced about 4 tomatoes. Their garden has 400 or so. I am so going again really soon.
  • I am vowing to go to bed earlier and stop procrastinating...starting really late tomorrow night.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Real Church-A Review

Real Church:Does It Exist? Can I Find It? by Larry Crabb

To say this book is great is the understatement of the year. It is so thought challenging. I am in a tough church place right now. It has much less to do with my church-which is awesome-and much more to do with me. My personal struggle with church, religion, and even God are culminating into something that I never expected; a very deep appreciation of community, family and friendships.

Mr. Crabb goes into detail about being bored with the status quo-songs, prayers, sermons. He believes church has become, really has always been way too much of a spectator sport. He questions how this can be pleasing to a God that truly wants relationships. God does want relationships-with us, us with fellow believers, us with non-believers, etc.

A favorite from this book:

"Relational sin, patterns of relating that reflect an addiction to a greater concern than blatant behavioral sins...Pharisees, not prostitutes, are Satan's masterpieces."

He goes on at great length describing the properties of a great church. A church that is honest, open and relevant. My church has a whole lot of the qualities. There are not alot of people claiming perfection where we worship and for that I am truly grateful. I have been a part of those kind of churches before and it is really hard to invite a lost and hurting world into such a sham! None of us are perfect without the blood of not one!

He also goes into a whole lot of detail about our self addictions and what that means. Some choose drugs, alcohol, pornography, etc. Others choose to be people pleasers, addicted to missions, ministry, Bible knowledge or a positive attitude-described as "a pedestal of superior goodness'. All of those things are false gods-not at all the REAL God.

"I want to be a part of a church that knows we are all addicted to ourselves in one way or another, that meets as truth-hungry, formation-focused, community centered, and missionally energized Christians, all for one purpose: to hear the music that will transform us into God addicts."

I want to be addicted to God. I want to wake up craving time with Him. I want to be aware of my selfishness even when it seems to be wanting "GOOD" things that others may support. I want to be able to pass on approval from other Christians if it means the approval from God will be greater. I want to have relationships with people who will lovingly rebuke my sin and expect the same from me. Relationships that grow deeper because we want to be more Christlike and realize that while we won't accomplish it in this life-we will still be better at it through our relationships. I want to love and be loved by people who know their own struggles and also mine. I want friends who don't believe mine are worse-but truly believe sin is sin. I am so grateful for the friends that I have. The friends that are truly 'iron sharpening iron'. They are just as quick to stand up to sin in my life as they are in their own. It's the only thing that can get you by in this fallen world full of fallen people.

We are ALL fallen people. We won't fully be redeemed until Christ comes back. Some people just haven't gotten that memo.

Monday, August 17, 2009

FOR TODAY...Monday, August 17, 2009

Outside my is dark.

I am thinking...I am reminiscing about the wonderful day we had boating. I am thinking how lucky I was to win a day's free pontoon rental in a drawing. I am thinking about how much I love to catch fish...and throw them back and chuckling because it drives Kayla nuts.

From the learning rooms...Teaching Textbooks ROCKS!!!!!!

From the kitchen...LOL, not today!!

I am wearing...a blue sleep shirt with flowers on it.

I am creating...a blog post and memories.

I am sleep well tonight.

I am reading...home work assignments and lesson plans

I am be able to find out what is making me so tired all the time now that sleep apnea has been ruled out.

I am hearing...the fan in my room.

Around the house...It is relatively clean.

One of my favorite things...Family, friends, friends that feel like family.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Hubby is on vacation/ flexibility is the key to a good week!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


I don't love today. I am having a very unorganized, busy, overscheduled first week of school. I should have started last week and by this week, Stella would have gotten her groove back. As it is, we are working school in between too many other things and Mom started the week off going out with the girls and staying up too late, etc, etc, need I go on??

The kids are fine though. They love Teaching Textbooks with all their heart. Math that middle schoolers love soothes my own math-loving heart. Previous to this year they have hated math. How can you hate math? 2+2 always equals 4. Math is learn it once. You might learn some other wonderful shortcut, but the bottom line will always be unchanged. I also love grammar and spelling...mostly for the same reasons. Perhaps I have some issues with change. I'll speak to my psychoanalyst about it.

This morning things are calm, but this afternoon will be a mix of alot of different stuff. There will be rushing here, there and everywhere. I'm excited. AND, tired. It must be that blood I gave the Red Cross last night, yeah, that's the ticket. I gave blood and now I'm has nothing to do with anything else. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I'm Much Too Young To Feel...

Staying up too late giggling is getting harder and harder to bounce back from. It now takes almost an entire day to get over it. It used to be that I would get up, feel fine and come evening, I would just be draggy. Taking a whole day to get over giggling and over-sharing is a luxury I can't really afford...but I am not yet ready to give up either. What a dilemma.

So last night was the first PATCH meeting. I am a board member this year for the first time in my homeschooling career. I am in charge of coordinating the meetings. Last night I had the monumental task of scheduling the meeting agenda and then keeping us on track through 2 hours of information from several different speakers. AND, I was successful. Of course, in my mind, I had scheduled way more time than everyone SAID they needed and so I was sure I could get us out in 1:45. I was wrong. BUT, I did get us out in two so only the board members know that I missed my 1:45 goal. EXCEPT, I just told all of you and some of you were there. I am a open book, "it is a blessing and a curse". (Who says that?)

After the meeting, a few of us went out to the IHOP to chatter on and on about meaningless drivel in a restaurant that doesn't close. It is NIRVANA to a homeschooling mom without much time unaccompanied by minors. We laugh, we cry, we complain, we affirm, we encourage and yes, we even prayed. We lament the people who left before we could nab them to go. We lament the people who declined going that we did invite. We then sigh because they miss all the fun, nanananabooboo! ( I sigh inside a little when I remember my 2 TX friends that are 'partying' with a new group that can't possibly compare to me. LOL) I only wish I could say I woke up rarin' to go. HEH, not so much.

So tonight, I go to bed early with the hope of a more productive day in the AM.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Deeply Flawed

I have a confession to make: I am deeply flawed. Perhaps deeply does not even begin to describe it. I am moody, even unhospitable at times. I am angry, very selfish and non-conforming to a fault. I have huge issues with rules and authority. I dislike cliques or any type of exclusivity(and yet at times am involved in them). I am a harsh critic. I hate housework and yet love a clean house. I love to organize things. I often dislike people in such a general way, that I have to escape into a book(usually about people-heehee). I also like to escape in a crowd of people to be 'alone'.

That scratches the surface a bit. The good news is that I am also perfect. So perfect that God smiles when he thinks of me. He loved me so much that he sacrificed his son for me. I am so perfect that I can never mess up that perfection. I am so blessed to be clothed in the blood of Christ. Because, when I took on Christ-or rather, he took on me-I became a member of an exclusive group. A group that ANYONE can join. A group that is at its best when I am at my worst.

Sometimes I think Christians get a bit caught up in 'being good'. In fact, they get so caught up in being good, they forget they will NEVER be good enough. Only the grace of God through the blood of Christ gets me into the presence of God. I'm really tired of being surrounded by a Christian world that thinks that now that they have 'arrived', they can help everyone else arrive as well. In this life, we will never arrive. If we really want to share the good news, we should start by sharing all the lovely ways we are not good enough.

I am so blessed to be a part of a church that nicknames itself: the home of the weird and the broken. A broken vase has living water flowing out of it at all times.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Everyone Should Watch Veggie Tales

From Veggie Tales Review:

"The Story of Flibber-o-loo
The people of this town have a big problem. And I’m not talking about the fact that they live on top of a pillar in the middle of the clouds, that they wear stinky shoes on their head, or that they consider a wind up lobster a pet (one day I hope to find another reference to this pet of Larry’s!). They are enemies with a town that wears pots on their head, and they like to shoot things at one another. Personally, think getting hit with a pot would be worse than the shoe.
In any case, this is the setup for Larry getting mugged and his lunch money stolen. After being placed upside down in a hole, both the Mayor and Doctor come by but are too busy to help him out– though they’re not too busy to sing a song. After these two leave, Junior comes from the other town, bring Larry to the doctor, and sings about how loving your neighbor means lending a hand.
Now they shoot flowers and candy instead of pots and shoes. Let’s just hope that they aren’t shooting roses with thorns."

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Busy, Busy, Shockingly Busy!!

Much, much too busy for you. Those words are etched on my memory banks forever. Who knows what famous children's movie/program that is from???

Tomorrow, I officially will be the mom to a teenager. ARGH! Where did the time go?

I have 10 bazillion things on my to-do list. I must get them accomplished so I can totally savor a wonderful field trip coming later in the week...before our school officially starts...yes, a field trip. Water studies. It will be soooo awesome. I love to study water. Up close and personal.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Arch Arch Baby

St. Louis was the place we were visiting. We opted to just go to Target and buy curtains for Erika's room and then head home because we are old and decrepit. Actually, 4+ hours in the blazing hot sun of a daytime baseball game will sap the life out of you in a way that the best sleep in the most comfortable bed in the world can't cure.

We did eat brunch at Chili Mac's Diner before hopping the train back to our car. It was sooooo cool. A real diner. 3 women took orders, cooked orders, and then rang up orders all from memory. We were very impressed and plan to visit there again!! Plus we both ate for around $10.

I am so blessed to have wonderful friends who took care of my cheeky monkeys so I could have a two day, one night date with my husband. We had a wonderful time discovering us again.

Now, I am off of here. I have a busy day tomorrow with lots I need to accomplish.

Monday, August 03, 2009

A New Love

Oh Evansville. We have had a good relationship, but I am writing to tell you it is over. I have a new love. A love that has baseball, carriage rides and fine dining. A love that has a Hilton with a bed so soft, cozy and perfect, I am still thinking about it. A love with so many options of what to do today that my darling is researching the web to see exactly which things we should do today.

We are trying to do things we have not done when we have visited before. But first, a train ride back to our car which is hopefully still parked in a parking lot. Can anyone guess what lovely city my groom and I are visiting? Sure, I could give you more clues-but that would make it too easy. I fear I have already givien too many hints already-at least for you locals!

Later, tater.