My husband is watching his first ever NFL game. The Titans at Nashville. He wanted me to accompany him, but instead is with a friend from work. I felt no guilt about it at all until Terrell preached today about how men want their wives to share hobbies with them.

Sports really are just games!! They don't really provide anything except a way to spend alot of time and money at the same place. I like sports for kids, it teaches them exercise can be fun and how to be a team player. It has also ruined many lives when Mr. Baseball wasn't "good enough" to make it. Many men have carried that not "good enough" label with them ever since. Maybe I just don't like the fans, they cuss at the ref and complain about how the coach does, so and so did not do their best and all from the comfort of a bench. Having played basketball, I know you can practice your butt off and still miss an easy shot. I am loosely comparing my MSchool basketball career with the college and pro level, but they are just people too. We have some really high expectations of our sports heroes. I really respect the kind of fan my husband is (at least when I am with him!). He just appreciates the game. He may be disappointed with a loss, but he doesn't rant and rave and carry on.(maybe a little) All that really does is just alienate everyone sitting around you. What you hear at high school games is just brutal though because those boys have egos and self-esteem all wrapped up in the game and so do Mom and Dad! Bottom line though, alot of money and time spent on something so futile, I just don't get it. I suppose I never will. I like to watch the cardinals play baseball (live only!!) because it usually means we are in St. Louis which is one of my favorite cities. The baseball isn't the end all for me though...it is more like eating your brussel sprouts so you can have dessert.

Trunk or treat tonite at church. I am very excited! We will have a big fire...I love when our church has a fire and everyone sings around the fire. I think beside the God-sized hole in me is a firesized hole!! I just feel safe and secure, and happy around a fire! It is way cool. I love seeing all the kiddos run around in their costumes too. My kids have been excited about it all week. They can barely wait. Lilly willingly took a nap so it would be time to go when she woke up, I think! I need to get off of here!! There is work to be accomplished.

Today has so far been a very leisurely day. Not because we don't have tons to do, but I can't seem to get my lazy butt in gear!! Our first obligation today is not until 6PM when we are off to a bithday party. We need to finish up our Social Studies project which goes into the fair on Tuesday. The school room is in shambles again and must be dealt with!! Not to mention most of the housework has been let go. I had a cleaning frenzy on Tuesday/Wednesday and then nothing. Feast or famine, that is my way! IF I could do a little everyday it would accomplish so much more than working like a dog for a couple of days and then ...nothing. There is just so much day to day, cooking and cleaning up after meals 3 times a day (or more) and chipping away at mount rushmore. Monitoring bathing, teeth brushing, clothing tossing, school working. NOW I AM CRAWLING BACK IN BED FOR A NAP....If you have a plan than works, email it and I will study it intensely and do none of it. LOL

I am off to the shower to wash away this mood and emerge smelling like safeguard and having a new attitude. (Instead of bad breath, yucky hair and the lazy's) Pray for my children today, that their mom emerges with a shred of energy! Thanks for letting me rant a little. I promise I'll be more interesting.....LATER.

Life with a four-year-old is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you are going to get. One day Lilly polishes her halo, being on her best behavior. She is helpful whenever she can be. Other days, she is the exact opposite-polishing her horns and making messes everywhere she wanders. The whole thing is making me a little crazy!! At first my automatic reaction to her misbehavior was that she needed more attention. This does not appear to be the culprit. The behavior is almost completely random. I believe I have to chalk it up to moon cycles or growing pains. When shutting the closet door tonight, I looked at her little white cowboy boots that she loves so much and my heart ached. They are so little! I had to hug her extra tight while tucking her into bed. I know I am going to blink my eyes and they will be big stinky tennis shoes or white prom pumps and I know this(age 4) too shall pass.

Wow, what a week-end!! Bible study Thurs morning was awesome. I can't believe how relevant the Old Testament is!! What a history we have of God's faithfulness. What makes it so wonderful is the way they all really messed up, made a lot of really bad choices, but God still gives them grace. It is comforting because I know how much I have messed up in my life. Still am making a few messes here and there, but I have learned a lot in the last 10-12 years about what God wants from me. When I compare myself to other Christians, I am a miserable failure. However, when I compare myself to my former self, I am definitely wearing the blood of the lamb. I am not where God wants me to be yet, but I am very much improved. Really that is all we can hope for, to keep improving with age and wisdom.

Thursday night I had a show and my sister was at it. It was good to see her, our paths don't cross as much as I would like. She did heckle me all night though, I am doomed to be the little sister of three my whole life!! It will be a lot more fun when I am 65 and they are all really old!!

Friday we were able to get finished with school and go to Paducah Athletic Club for our PE. It was wonderful since we had not been in about 3 weeks because the girls kept fighting and losing the privilege of going. I get to sit in the hot tub and relax for a little while while they play in the pool. Win-win! Kayla's friend Meghan spent the night with us after PAC and she was so much fun. We all enjoyed having her. She, like Kayla, is very intelligent and imaginative. They were able to play all sorts of fun pretend games. They had a harder time focusing on Monopoly Jr though...When you can travel the world and be anything you want, it is hard to be a car traveling around a board!! I continue to be amazed at just how different my children are. I really do enjoy each little personality and I need to do better making sure they know that.

Saturday we went to Mathis Orchard in Mayfield and that was great fun. They have the best apples!! They were out of my favorites, Jonathan, so I had to settle for Romes! Then we hit a great yard sale on the way home and then it was off to Memaw and Pepaws because I had Girl Scout training. I swear it was the prettiest day in the whole world and I had to sit in a meeting!! I hate that side of Girl Scouts. As my co-leader said, it isn't as though they have so many volunteers that they have to weed them out somehow!! We don't leave any smarter either. Usually we just all discuss the girls and our meetings. They tell you a lot of stuff you figured out the first couple of meetings about chatty, giggly girls and how to maintain order while letting them learn how to conduct a meeting.

Saturday night was the barn party!! Audie had a great night planned for our homeschool group. It was awesome. Our family had such fun night!! She has lots of space and animals, which is what we love most so it was great. I have learned that homeschoolers are not very god chili makers!! I tried twice and had really bad chili both times. I ate a lg cup of potato salad and a hot dog instead. Erik ate all my leftovers. One of the things I love about him!! He will always eat the food I don't want. I was brought up to be a plate cleaner and it is really hard for me to waste food. It is ok though if he cleans the plate!! I do not, however require my children to be plate cleaners!! We do talk about small portions and not wasting food though.

Finally, Sunday was a great church service!! It was a very good sermon on being Godly parents. I love it when Terrell really preaches!! Sometimes he just discusses and I have discovered I do much better to be preached at!! After church, we came home for lunch and then headed to Southern Illinois to Bandy's pumpkin patch. It was so worth the drive!! We got to go in the Little Egypt maze, eat pumpkin fudge and go on a hayride. We also let Lilly go through the play barn which was a couple of smaller kid size mazes and a corn bath. That is a great big trouph(sp?) of loose corn. As we were burying her in it, we found a beautiful diamond wedding ring. It looked very expensive!! We took it to the office and turned it in. I am just worried that whoever lost it won't know where they lost it!! The moral to the story, don't play in the corn bath when your rings are loose!!! OR, gain a little weight so all your rings are snug and you don't lose them!!!!

School is going so much better. We just had to find the balance between independent and Mom instructed study. I think we are getting a better system down. My mom wanted to pay the girls for all their A's. I just laughed. Of course they have all A's. We don't move on until they really get it, really know whatever material we are covering so of course it means they have all A's. We declined the "A money".

I enjoy choosing my color as much as writing the blog. Brown is fallish, so since I am very much enjoying fall I will use brown. Our weather lately is so great. You can still wear shorts and summer clothes during the day and then throw on a sweatshirt at night (or tough it out!)

I had a great show last night, but forgot my crescent rolls!! It was my 101st show and I have not ever done that...forgot an essential ingredient! My hostess ran to the store and got them so it was not a big deal, embarrassing, but not a big deal. I'm glad I decided not to become a policeman or something!(forget my gun or where I parked the car)LOL!

Spent part of the day today cooking Summer's recipe of italian beef which was wonderful!! Thanks for sharing it Summer! Served it up on rolls with swiss cheese. Erik & I thought it was great. My kids complained the whole meal. I can't really complain because they eat all sorts of veggies, even asparagus and boiled okra(!!). They are just not receptive to new things and that is very frustrating!! Erika and Kayla are more likely to experiment than Lilly who really just wants hot dogs or any sort of pasta dish.

Not really alot to say tonight. I am working on snowman poop(You've been bad, so here's the scoop, nothing for you but snowman poop-mini marshmallows!) and reindeer food(oats and colored sugar) for my homemakers fundraiser bazaar. The bazaar is Nov 5th and I don't want to do my usual put of till the last minute thing! I am going to work on them a bit tonite and then try to get to bed at a decent hour.

Much, much better day today!! I still haven't gotten caught up, but God has comforted my soul and that was what was needed most! Mount washmore is not so tall. I have all of the camping things put away and most of THAT laundry finished. Camping really was great. We spent most of the time there with Alison and Justin and their kiddos. They had a ball playing in the dry streambed running through our campsite. We also hooked up with Kip and Jennifer and their trio a time or two. We played a massive kickball game with some fellow Reidlandites!! I thought I was sore from playing, but as I played Sat and was less sore Sun, I decided it had to be horseback riding that made me sore. I am very glad...kickball is not a very strenuous sport!! I can't believe how many people we ran into that we knew. Erik saw a woman he used to work with that he had not seen in 20 years!! I still prefer camping in more primitive, less populous areas, but I do like the safety of Hillman's Ferry!

My girl scouts were totally wild today. I have not checked, but I suspect there may be a full moon! That does make children a little restless. We made it through and manged to get our work done anyway. We had an awesome school day, accomplished alot! I hope we do as well tomorrow. Still praying for gentleness, that is what I need most! A soft answer turneth away wrath...I would not know, I don't think I have ever given one!!

Pampered Chef party tomorrow night. I am very excited! This is becoming a very busy month. YES, you should have a show!! This is a subliminal message...you deserve a show, you should definitely call me and book a show. Everyone is having shows and getting free stuff and doing Christmas shopping...you should too!! It will be a fun show! Lots of my Metropolis buddies.

I better get off of here. A few loose ends to tie up and I am off to dreamland. Seize the day and get rid of some of your "stuff", you know you have too much. That reminds me, one of my favorite blogs has a George Carlin bit about stuff...he has some off color words, but has a really good blog! www.dancingwithkatrina.blogspot.com I think!! If that doesn't work, just put dancingwithkatrina over chefjanice at the top of this page and that will get you there! Have a great Tuesday!

I decided to quit homeschooling today. I figure I will have more time for housework and get supper done every night. I can even start a new hobby. I just can't seem to get our lives straight enough, organized enough, or planned well enough. So the easiest thing for me to do is just give up. If it don't come easy, you better let it go. My marriage is getting kind of hard to. As the girls get older they are kind of developing a strong sense of self and this is disrupting the balance a bit. I think I will give them up too along with my marriage. I am just really not a good wife, mom, or Christian for that matter. I am pretty sure if I walked away from everything I have and got a job and an apartment of my own, I could be "the ideal" woman with a neat house, cool clothes and good hair. I just have too much holding me back.

I started out having one of those days, so I just decided to let myself go with it. All the things I think I want so much really would not mean alot without the things that keep me from it!! Would I trade my husband and kids for a neater house and fewer chores (OK, maybe today I would but I would want them back as soon as it was tidy!). I have let life interfere with LIFE again. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family but sometimes, like today, I just hate everything. I keep trying to blame it on PMS but the time frame when it happens just won't cooperate!! I guess I have to put the blame where it belongs. Right square on the shoulders of SATAN!! He knows just what buttons to push and all of my baggage. He knows exactly what puts me over the edge and makes me crazy.

Thank you God that you have blessed me beyond what I deserve and created a new heart in me!! I don't have to be perfect. I never will be. I will never be the envy of the room because of my keen fashion sense. I started the day off with my husband laughing at me so I came back in and changed. I will also never be heralded for having the neatest house or best hair. I am probably not up for mom of the year, TEACHER OF THE YEAR, and last but not least wife of the year. (Almost forgot friend of the year!) Praise the Lord though that I am forgiven of my many sins and shortcomings. Thank you Lord that every time I think about getting a divorce, you remind me that I made a covenant with you and unless he walks away, I am here. Thank you Lord that every time I am the worst mother in the world, you remind me that you planned on me being the mom of Erika, Kayla, and Lilly and you will get me through it (and them too!). Thank you Father that even though you know exactly when I am making wrong choices, you allow me to screw up royally and then help me pick up the pieces when it all falls apart. Please God, don't lose patience with me. Help me be all that you have planned for me and more. I may not have "IT" all together but I know where I am spending eternity. I am so thankful my Savior loves me just as I am and I am even more thankful he won't allow me to stay just as I am. Prune my branches Lord that I may bear more fruit!

I am going to get off of here now and start my day again. I suppose I can still homeschool, stay married and be a mom as long as I have God on my side. I have a little more spring in my step and I think I can be nice again. Maybe this is just post-camping blues. We had a great couple of days and I really was disheartened to see it come to an end, even when my body was screaming for mercy! Have a great week and don't forget to count your blessings or you will forget what they are!

Fishing with my scouts was great! Mr. Dale Stanton was pho-nom-i-nal!! He was so patient and great to the girls. He made sure every girl caught at least one fish. Lilly caught 2! "I didn't even know I knewed how to catch fish!", she says, like she is a pro fisherman now. Mr. Dale travels around KY teaching people how to fish so if you have a group, young or old, I highly recommend having him come along! sedhartha@bellsouth.net is his email!

After fishing we came home and organized our 1 million bicycle innertubes that Erik bought at the Rasche Auction. Please let us know if your bike needs a tube, we probably have your size! He will begin ebaying soon and he will be in ebay heaven. Then we concluded our evening with a much anticipated fire!! We burned all our papers that needed to be shredded and the pile of sticks my daughters had collected that was taller than Lilly! It was great fun.

Today we are going camping, not in our backyard and hopefully our paths will cross with some of our friends who are at Hilman's Ferry already. We are borrowing a camper this time. One of our favorite families at chuch is setting it up for us as well. Good friends are just priceless!! I have to get off of here as I have a million things to do...te;; ya all about it when we return!

just wrote a lovely post that is lost in cyberspace...computers, can't live with them, can't shatter them with a hammer...not enough energy to even capitalize....

Almost forgot, my dog came home 2 days later!! He was under the influence of some she-dog (#*%$#!) somewhere I am sure! I have been thinking he was too old(7) to neuter, but the more I learn about men...well I am saving up for the surgery now.

Silence is golden...Also very rare in a household of five. I am listening to the sounds of nothing as I decide what to write about today. Lilly is taking a much needed nap and Erika and Kayla are working on a coloring contest page. Erik is watching TV but has the volume so low I can barely hear it. I have a love-hate relationship with Sunday afternoons. I love to go-anywhere, anytime! I also love to stay home and just kick back. Sundays are hard because this is Erik's one guaranteed day off and I want to do something, anything as a family!! On the other hand, because this is Erik's one day off, I want us to enjoy being at home as a family. There really is no answer to this dilemna! My thinking is usually, since we are all up and dressed nice, let's go somewhere. Erik's is let's have a day of rest. The two-year-olds in each of us usually bicker a bit and we agree on some sort of compromise. My big problem with staying home, is that some sort of work always follows, laundry, bill paying/filing, general housework. Having done all of these things for 6 days, I do not want to make a 7th but I must respect that my husband sees the need for it! I should capitalize on his willingness to help, I just don't want to do housework any more than he wants to pack mail. I think we are going to Sam's. Grocery shopping is usually the compromise. Win/win. We are doing something together and getting out of the house. Erik's win is that while he must get out, it is finite!! We will be coming right back after Sam's or the food goes bad!! He also likes to go to Sam's and listens to the radio while I breeze through Aldi. Of course when we get home, he relaxes and I work-but for some reason I enjoy shopping and putting away. It must be that nesting/gathering instinct handed down from primitive woman. I think I hate laundry because it is unnatural to have so many clothes!! I just can't get the rest of the world on board with the two outfits a piece rule. One to wear, one to launder for the next day. Imagine all the $$ saved in water, detergent and clothing!!! We would all be millionaires. Now imagine all the time saved...No basket of socks...No mount washmore...Join me at nomoredirtylaundry.com where all the world is patient and happy-just kidding, probably a porn site!!

Tomorrow I am taking my girl scouts fishing, with a field guide, of course! Fishing with just me would guarantee they never fished again! It is not fun to go and catch 0 fish. It is basically throwing bait into the lake a little at a time. We have done that some but it really is much more fun to catch fish. I am very excited.

Later in the week we may go and camp. I have some other friends going and it should be a fun time. It may not work out though because the Post Office has had a management change and they haven't quite figured it all out just yet. That means Erik may not get his scheduled long weekend. I hope he does though!!

I hope everyone out there has a great week, I will try to be more regular with my postings!

My dog has been missing since Monday afternoon. I am not ok. He is the 4-legged love of my life. He follows me everywhere, helps me tuck the girls in at night and I am horrified he may never return. Please pray for Thunder, that he is safe and on his way home(or camped out with some she-dog around here)!! I am really bummed out.

Losing myself in mount washmore for solace....

Okay, quick catch up! Friday, horseback lessons for the girls went well. Another week of not attending Paducah Athletic Club for fighting(within our home, not at the club, this is a very effective thing to lose when they cannot stop fighting). Friday evening the girls spent with Memaw and Papaw because Erik ahd a gig and I had a Pampered Chef party. Saturday, we spent the day at my friend Jennifer's house "helping" and I use that term loosely, with her yard sale. We did have wonderful adult conversation...such a rarity for us both with children 24/7 and the kids played fairly well together. Good friends are such a treasure and she is a lovely person. Saturday night, SCHOOL BUS RACES-those of you who know me well know this was Erik's idea, but I did enjoy it, despite myself. SIDENOTE-I saw Kenya and Kelly Estes there and later leaned they sponsored one of the buses!! You will have to ask them how the race went for them! It was quite a hit with my girls as well, a pink Barbie bus was favored, but the batman bus was very well liked as well. The peace and love bus was not peaceful or loving, in fact it caused a lot of wrecks, just like the peace and love movement of the 70's!!LOL!!!. We were all exhausted to get home at almost midnight and church the next day! Once I got over the waste of all that gas(round and round and for WHAT??!! No I never was a cruiser in school either!) and the horror of people cheering when there was a wreck (I still don't understand...I could cheer for that if they were remote control vehicles with no people inside! I laughed a little after we heard the driver was out and ok!) I will never really be a race fan for the previous reasons but it was kind of fun and hopefully none of my teeth will loosen as a result!! LOL, but admittedly a little mean...sorry.

TODAY was awesome though! I was Becky's helper for Bible hour and that was just great! We had a huge class today and there was not a dull moment, but it was alot of fun and the boys and girls were so good. I love this age!! They are just so happy to be included! We should all enjoy life as much as 2-5 year olds do! The world would just be a better place if the highlight of our day was helping put up scissors or turning the light off!! ANYTHING to help!!
We then went to my Mom's for a wonderful dinner and helped her trim her shrubs. They look better, not perfect but improved. THEN, we went to my favorite place in the world....Homeplace 1850 at LBL. It was teacher appreciation weekend so we got free admission. YEAH! I just love that time...I do love technology but America was so much better when she was young. With each passing decade we grow more sinful and hateful. If time travel ever becomes possible, I am going back and I will work like a dog and die young of the flu, but life and family will be great!! Now I am getting off here and going to bed. I will be asleep when my head hits the pillow!! Have an awesome week.