Countdown to departure...

My house is somewhat clean with a few piles around the perimeters of rooms for storage or eventual discard(does anyone else do that??) My husband DESPISES IT!! I am a piles person. If I put it away somewhere that is not it's "HOME" I know it will be lost forever. Since not all our things have been assigned "HOMES" yet(and we've been here 6 years!!), it is very annoying to see all the things in piles. If someone knows a better way, let me hear it!! Some piles are just paper, there is also a give-away pile, consignment pile and several toys-to-go-through piles.

Anyway, house mostly clean, laundry is two loads away from done(one in the dryer, one still washing). I want to leave the house in fine shape so dear hubby can enjoy his personal home time between jobs!! He is playing gigs and packing mail all weekend. He works hard for the money... Hopefully he can watch a movie or have a nap in his peaceful home. OR BLOG...hee hee. And desperately miss me since I will be so far out in nature cell phones don't work(I will still have it though if you want to try though, honey!!). Looking forward to some time alone with God as well as enjoying God's land. LBL. Oh and I guess there will probably be some stuff to learn and people, but I intend to enjoy myself despite that...hee hee.

I hope you all enjoy your weekend!! I can't get over all the fun stuff going on tonight!! Never again will there be so many options in our fair town on a Friday night!! Ice cream festival-murray, museum story hour, birthday party, carshow downtown, church trip...I don't feel guilty though because the pox cancelled all those options anyway. SOOOO, I get to be with nature and my kids spend the night with the coolest babysitter on Earth. Seriously, they love my friend Kathy and beg us to date more. AND, Erik drums tonight with no guilt(not sure there ever is but...)of time missed with me. Win-win-win-win-win.

I am outta here...well pretty soon anyway!

Random and ODD!

*I am so excited about my field trip to LBL-I may explode. Being on lockdown at home because Erika has pox only makes it sweeter!!

*I am doing major housecleaning today, can't blog long or I will lose momentum.

*My kids think someone is coming over because of the above. Very sad indeed.

*I have my bible study homework all done.(And I did not just finish 4 days worth today-I finished it days ago!) I can hardly believe it myself.

*I have a peace that surpasses all understanding about all things church. Some of you must be praying with me, thank you. Thanks also to all of you who admitted you feel the same way!!

*My thyroid medicine is upped since my doctor visit. This makes me conclude that yes, indeed, my body is falling apart.

Back to work, if I play my day right, I will be getting some stuff to a consignment store and some other stuff to Heartland's clothing closet. Maybe today! Have a wonderful Thursday.

"The [person] who is always having ... feelings hurt is about as pleasant a companion as a pebble in a shoe." ~Elbert Hubbard

Feeling like a pebble in a shoe today afer re-reading my last couple of posts. The above quote came in my inbox today. Appropriate, me thinks. I considered deleting the posts, but they are accurate as far as how I feel and this blog is my journal that I hope one day my little chitlins will read. I don't want to send the message that my life was sunshine and roses all the time. I don't guess there is any worry of that . My second concern is that some people from my church read this and I assure you guys, this is more about me and mine than anyone at church. We have never reached out to anyone that someone wasn't reaching back! Our church is not large-around 200-but that is an awkward size in my opinion. Too large to be super intimate, to small and varied in ages to group up effectively. Since I grew up in such a small congregation of 50-70-I realize my expectations are a little skewed.

This is a busy week for our family, last night I had a Pampered Chef sales meeting, tonight Erik has practice with his blues band, and Thursday is my Bible study. Friday, I leave here at 4PM, drop my kids off to my friend and head to LBL(land between the lakes- a huge natural settings park for you out-of-towners) for my teacher workshop(they let me in-heehee). I won't be back until Saturday evening and Erik has gigs and work, so all of our family will be all over!! I am very excited as I will visit parts of LBL I have not been to: Fort Donelson-which apparently has a historic military hospital and cemetary and some other area I have not ventured far enough south to see. We will be housed at Brandon Springs which is yet another area I've not been to. Anyway, the trip teaches us how to get the most out of a field trip to LBL and the services they offer. They are home educator friendly!

In other news, Erika is quarantined starting today waiting for the outbreak(chickenpox!)Her outbreak won't cancel my plans though!! My friend Kathy said if it happens, she will deal with it! It does mean no church for our family tonight. If Erik did not have practice, he could take the other two-but Wednesdays work out best for the rest of his band for practice. They don't practice alot since they play so much, but about four or five times a year they are learning a new song or playing an important gig, so they get together for an hour or two.

We are finally back on track from the long weekend-it took ALL DAY yesterday to get caught up. Today we are not doing that. They are watching a video on bugs to supplement our insect study. I vowed last year I would incorporate some fun stuff in our year as school lest we all spontaneously combust.

Thanks for always lisening, bloggy friends!!

I am waiting for the apples to kick in...

I am a little better today. I am trusting that God will guide our family in exactly what we should do. Thanks for the sweet comments, especially you Julia, I swear we are sarcastic soul sisters. I miss your posts, love your pics, but enjoy your thoughts as well. A church change would be an awesomely huge decision that I am not sure any of us could do right now. Plus my heart aches at the thought-our church is family in so many ways. Clicky with lots of issues, but family nevertheless. Maybe it is me, maybe my personality is so obnoxious that people dislike me enough to ostracize the whole family. I try really hard to always be kind, but I know gentleness is not my strong suite!! If so, a church change would only intensify these feelings. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and it is just the time factors that all of us deal with-trying to fit all we have to do in a day with so little left over. Maybe God is allowing me to wander in the desert a bit and grow my faith. It just seems like he would give me people to minister and mentor me instead of making me wander alone.

Erik and I just had a nice conversation about it and agreed to sort of take a wait and see attitude. (I learned tonite that rubbing Erik's back with lotion makes him OK for discussing things) We will start a new CARE group soon and that may make all the difference. Whew, no pressure CARE group!! Hee hee! I am also in a ladies Bible study and that is always a welcome bonding experience. Erik, though, really does not have any friendships through church at all and that bothers me(Especially since he is so cool and all!). I want more God in our day-to-day living and Godly friends are a very essential part of that. I am thinking maybe we should just reach out to more people in church and be a little more proactive instead of waiting for the friend wagon to pull up in our driveway!!

OKAY-shutting up on that for now. I am praying and listening to God instead of ranting from now on (at least on this subject)

We had a very productive labor day. We laid around all morning but then we rode our bikes to Erik's Mom & Dad's for ribs & the fixings. Buddy the wonder dog(we wonder where he came from and why he LOVES us SO MUCH!) came along. We were shocked. He nevers leaves this yard. Our other dog, Thunder, never comes home-he truly lives at the corner grocery and comes home when they close. Buddy, though, apparently takes his job of guarding our family very serious. He is very good at it. It takes him a long time to accept even welcome visitors. Last week, he had a group of Jehovah's Winesses backed up to their vehicles until I saved them (If only we all took our beliefs as far as they do!) Anyway, other than being scared of Memaw and Pepaw-he was very well behaved and eventually took rib bones from their hands. Then we rode home again with much fuel to burn off(much much fuel!). We then tackled our garage in what proves to be only step one towards completing the task. We are also draining our pool-it takes a while. Hopefully we can finish up those chores tomorrow afternoon, or Erik's next day off.

I am also still decluttering. It takes along time when you have the vast collection of all things that I have amassed. I went through our games and resolved that we will play more often and yet keep fewer!! We started last night with Scrabble Jr. It is a neat game. I love scrabble-but it will be a while before my little mis-spellers will play the real version!! I hope another consignment sale is coming up soon so I can keep my vow to never have a Yard Sale again!! I bet we could fill up a truckbed right now and I am not done yet (or even close!) I hope the ache for more space will go away once I clear out the space we already have. I had a nightmare the other night about a house so big I lost our kids. I just want 300-400 more square feet really. I have never wanted a very big house. Too much to clean, paint, maintain, etc. 1800-2000 square feet would be just perfect. All in one story please. And a big barn and chicken house out on the back ten acres please. (getting greedy!)

Okay, laundry to finish and Frazier to watch!

Don't read this post, as I am annoying, negative and spoiled!!

Really, read no further!! I have already hurt a good friend's feelings today with my biting sarcasm. I am not in good spirits today. I have been praying about it all day but I still feel unease. I am, in a word, lonely. It is hard for me to imagine that I feel that way because I have so many friends and know so many people-but it is true. I am a people person, social to the max. In almost every group of people we are in, we are welcomed and accepted, but we don't quite fit in anywhere we go. The hardest one is church. We don't fit in at church. I hate that even more in print than I do in life. I have prayed about it so often and it isn't that we don't have friends-we do. We even have fellowship, just not like I want it. If people my age at our church fellowship, we are not included. People older than us do and they are close. People younger than us do and they are close. We, as a family, just don't fit. The one time we really bonded with another family, they changed churches. We are still very close with them and our families are bonded. I guess I should be thankful for that, but I want more. I want close friendships and fun social stuff. It is all around us at church and we don't fit into it-youth, seniors, young adults, young couples. We have churchwide things too and I love them, as a matter of fact one is coming up and I am just sick that we have a conflict. It is probably just the night I need to make it all go away.

Maybe I am in the temptor's snare. Or on the pity pot. Maybe I just miss Erik and hated spending Sunday alone with the kids. I am glad he got to go see baseball with his Dad. I know they have had a fun day. I had a fun day too. The girls and I went to our church for Sunday school and a little bit of church and then we went to the church I grew up in with my Mom. I really enjoyed going there, it is amazing how the people have changed(some of the old people died and kids grew up and had kids of their own) but yet it is still the same. It could maybe hold 80 people at the most and it was close today. Very small and very friendly. A family. All through the service people are talked to and they answer back. ("What do you think about that song Miss Cassie?", "I say Hallelujah Brother Dobbs!") Very casual. Maybe that is what I miss. That church was so small, everyone was always included in every activity and everyone came. Church was your life and your life was church.

Maybe I am just a spoiled brat. I want it "my way" with extra cheese.

God have mercy on my spoiled brattiness. Change my heart, Lord. Let me know why lately I am so uncomfortable and uneasy in my life. Help me know what direction I am to go OR help me wait it out with patience if that is what I am supposed to do. Help me fall in love with you and take away my desires for more earthly friends when I have you and that is all I need.

As for the rest of you, well I told you not to read this. My apologies.

Fall is coming!!

With fall come many things I dearly love: apples, leaves changing colors, cooler weather, sweatshirts, hayrides, and oh so many more. I love spring because of the summer it begins but I love fall because of all of the above and more.

We went yard-saling today and since we were driving all over creation anyway, we finished off our day at Mathis apple orchard on HWY 131 between Mayfield and Paducah. As soon as we walked up, the lady said, "Would you like an apple?" YES!! We all had an apple, she even peeled for Lilly and Erika. Then we picked out all the varieties we wanted to buy, got some end of the season corn and some fresh made apple cider. I am soooo energized now. Apples must have that same chemical that chocolate has.

(mmmm! chocolate covered apples)

I talked to them about a possible homeschool field trip. It would be awesome. All of the varieties of apples don't come in until mid to late September though so I will see about getting a small group together closer to the end of the month maybe.

I have decided to pare back my life. There is much soul searching going on accompanied with prayers. There are things I am doing now that really take away from my family(my sanity!) and don't really seem like where God wants me. Help me pray and join me in paring back your life as well!! Post a comment if you want prayers.

Thank you my sisters for being my makeshift "yada yada" prayer group. I love praying for you as well as knowing you are praying for me!

I've been tagged by Susie. Glad you posted Susie, enjoy your weekend!!

1. One book that changed my life...
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (I think it should be required reading for all married women!!)

2. One book I have read more than once... See above...just kidding
I love The Island of the Blue Dolphins I recommended it to my daughter to read and read it right before I gave it to her to read and then we listened to it on audio in the van. Such a great story.

3. One book I would want on a desert island... The Clan of the Cave Bear or The Island of the Blue Dolphins would be good reading and also a survivor manual sort of.

4. One book that made me laugh... Any Erma Bombeck-she was and her work still is great. Cheaper by the Dozen is a great read too!! We listened to it in the van(audiobook) and it is NOTHING like the movie. There are some spots of bad language but the overall theme of the book is great, funny and I loved it!

5. One book that made me cry... The Yada Yada Prayer Group series made me laugh and cry. I saw so much of myself in that main character, sometimes I thought it was about me!! I also cried during the Dr. Laura book because of the lies we are sold by this culture we live in.

6. One book I wish had been written... I've always wanted to write a book.

7. One book I wish had never been written... There are a whole lot of witchcraft books geared to children-how to harness the powers of the dark and I wish they did not exist!! I wish my daughter did not love fairies and Harry Potter so much and then I would not know such evil how-to books existed. There is also a bunch of teen porn/smut novels available now-a-days and that makes me sad too.

8. One book I am currently reading... I am sort of focused on trying to get into the Bible right now so I am avoiding starting a new book (and the library!)


9. One book I've been meaning to read... Too numerous to mention!! The Bible is probably tops for me right now!!

Late to bed, early to rise...

I got up early again today and guess what!!??? My kids are gettig up earlier too. They are so excited to go ahead and get up and Mom already be up. I can't win. I think 7 is the earliest I can do when I go to bed at midnight. I think if I got up at 5, there would be a child looking at me saying, "cool Mom-it is just us!!" I think I dreamed of being this popular once upon a time.

Yesterday was a mommy day from hell that ended up being okay but at one point, putting my child into foster care and checking into an insane asylum were very real possibilities. I hope to not have a day like that again. EVAH!!

I started a new Bible study last night-the Beth Moore Daniel study. Maybe it is the topic, but I am so excited. I came home and couldn't wait to do my homework. I hope that continues to be the way I feel because I am notorious for keeping a blank book. This just seems like a really relevant study with the things I am battling right now.

Today is my lovely yearly Dr. appt. I like to diet a couple of weeks before I go usually so it is not such a shock when I weigh. Alas, I have forgotten to do that so it will be so fun to see how fat I am. Scales, gotta love 'em.