Monday, September 04, 2006

I am waiting for the apples to kick in...

I am a little better today. I am trusting that God will guide our family in exactly what we should do. Thanks for the sweet comments, especially you Julia, I swear we are sarcastic soul sisters. I miss your posts, love your pics, but enjoy your thoughts as well. A church change would be an awesomely huge decision that I am not sure any of us could do right now. Plus my heart aches at the thought-our church is family in so many ways. Clicky with lots of issues, but family nevertheless. Maybe it is me, maybe my personality is so obnoxious that people dislike me enough to ostracize the whole family. I try really hard to always be kind, but I know gentleness is not my strong suite!! If so, a church change would only intensify these feelings. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and it is just the time factors that all of us deal with-trying to fit all we have to do in a day with so little left over. Maybe God is allowing me to wander in the desert a bit and grow my faith. It just seems like he would give me people to minister and mentor me instead of making me wander alone.

Erik and I just had a nice conversation about it and agreed to sort of take a wait and see attitude. (I learned tonite that rubbing Erik's back with lotion makes him OK for discussing things) We will start a new CARE group soon and that may make all the difference. Whew, no pressure CARE group!! Hee hee! I am also in a ladies Bible study and that is always a welcome bonding experience. Erik, though, really does not have any friendships through church at all and that bothers me(Especially since he is so cool and all!). I want more God in our day-to-day living and Godly friends are a very essential part of that. I am thinking maybe we should just reach out to more people in church and be a little more proactive instead of waiting for the friend wagon to pull up in our driveway!!

OKAY-shutting up on that for now. I am praying and listening to God instead of ranting from now on (at least on this subject)

We had a very productive labor day. We laid around all morning but then we rode our bikes to Erik's Mom & Dad's for ribs & the fixings. Buddy the wonder dog(we wonder where he came from and why he LOVES us SO MUCH!) came along. We were shocked. He nevers leaves this yard. Our other dog, Thunder, never comes home-he truly lives at the corner grocery and comes home when they close. Buddy, though, apparently takes his job of guarding our family very serious. He is very good at it. It takes him a long time to accept even welcome visitors. Last week, he had a group of Jehovah's Winesses backed up to their vehicles until I saved them (If only we all took our beliefs as far as they do!) Anyway, other than being scared of Memaw and Pepaw-he was very well behaved and eventually took rib bones from their hands. Then we rode home again with much fuel to burn off(much much fuel!). We then tackled our garage in what proves to be only step one towards completing the task. We are also draining our pool-it takes a while. Hopefully we can finish up those chores tomorrow afternoon, or Erik's next day off.

I am also still decluttering. It takes along time when you have the vast collection of all things that I have amassed. I went through our games and resolved that we will play more often and yet keep fewer!! We started last night with Scrabble Jr. It is a neat game. I love scrabble-but it will be a while before my little mis-spellers will play the real version!! I hope another consignment sale is coming up soon so I can keep my vow to never have a Yard Sale again!! I bet we could fill up a truckbed right now and I am not done yet (or even close!) I hope the ache for more space will go away once I clear out the space we already have. I had a nightmare the other night about a house so big I lost our kids. I just want 300-400 more square feet really. I have never wanted a very big house. Too much to clean, paint, maintain, etc. 1800-2000 square feet would be just perfect. All in one story please. And a big barn and chicken house out on the back ten acres please. (getting greedy!)

Okay, laundry to finish and Frazier to watch!


Jacinda said...

I hope the lonely issues are resolved soon! I know it can be hard.

thruchildeyes said...

Oh Janice! I am in awe of your honesty. I don't know the answers, but I'm glad to know about the problem. You are a blessing to the church.