Sunday, August 09, 2009

Deeply Flawed

I have a confession to make: I am deeply flawed. Perhaps deeply does not even begin to describe it. I am moody, even unhospitable at times. I am angry, very selfish and non-conforming to a fault. I have huge issues with rules and authority. I dislike cliques or any type of exclusivity(and yet at times am involved in them). I am a harsh critic. I hate housework and yet love a clean house. I love to organize things. I often dislike people in such a general way, that I have to escape into a book(usually about people-heehee). I also like to escape in a crowd of people to be 'alone'.

That scratches the surface a bit. The good news is that I am also perfect. So perfect that God smiles when he thinks of me. He loved me so much that he sacrificed his son for me. I am so perfect that I can never mess up that perfection. I am so blessed to be clothed in the blood of Christ. Because, when I took on Christ-or rather, he took on me-I became a member of an exclusive group. A group that ANYONE can join. A group that is at its best when I am at my worst.

Sometimes I think Christians get a bit caught up in 'being good'. In fact, they get so caught up in being good, they forget they will NEVER be good enough. Only the grace of God through the blood of Christ gets me into the presence of God. I'm really tired of being surrounded by a Christian world that thinks that now that they have 'arrived', they can help everyone else arrive as well. In this life, we will never arrive. If we really want to share the good news, we should start by sharing all the lovely ways we are not good enough.

I am so blessed to be a part of a church that nicknames itself: the home of the weird and the broken. A broken vase has living water flowing out of it at all times.


Jason, as himself said...

I've always wondered this, and forgive me for my ignorance, but if a murderer, rapist, or child molester accepts Christ and then continues to commit his heinous sins, is he still saved and will he still go to heaven with the others who have accepted Christ and try to live good, upstanding lives?

Just one question that I lie awake at night and ask myself. And I'm not trying to be sarcastic. I really want to know.

janjanmom said...

Ah Jason, leave it to you to ask a question that is extremely difficult. When you accept Christ as your savior, you become a new creature in Him. The old passes away and you are reborn- a new heart.

This new heart will have fleshly struggles but it will not be able to live in the same way. If my heart truly changes, I will be on a different path. I won't be 'comfortable' in my sin. I will feel conviction when I do wrong, I will confess, pray and try again to not sin.

Someone who molests children that meets Jesus would be looking like crazy for some way to stop the urges-even willing to go as far as castration. I believe most people who are child molestors, murderers, etc are very mentally ill and I am not sure how that all shakes down. I am thankful I don't have to be the one working the door of heaven. God knows hearts and he is in the heart changing business. Only he could know the heart and intentions of a child molestor.

I know the desire to be 'good' in a Christian is very strong-no we can't ever be good enough but we will spend our lives trying to follow the ultimate example of Christ.

Those kind of things used to keep me up at night, but I decided the God who created the world can certainly make sure only the pure in heart get into heaven. That is why it is called faith-we don't get to know all the details.

hulagirlatheart said...

What drives me crazy is Christians who don't realize they're flawed but believe the rest of the world is. Are they not listening on Sunday morning?