Since my last post, the bottom fell out of our life and it is slow in rising back up to meet us. Erik's dad was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis a couple of years ago and at that time the doctor told him not to do ANY research, wear his oxygen and enjoy his life. He obeyed on the latter two. I can't say I would have done any better. He has had to increase the level of oxygen and also the frequency. Last Thursday, early in the morning, he was admitted to the hospital after a particularly hard night breathing and also fever and chills. Pneumonia. Always scary, but especially so for him. Thursday afternoon, much improved. We were full blown into planning a 70th birthday party for Erik's mom on Saturday. (We are so thankful for these party plans because Erik's sister Marla was here from Ohio.) Since he was stabilized, we carried on with planning and hoped he would be home by Saturday. Thursday night was a tough night and he did not rest well. On Friday, he was still not feeling good and had to have an even stronger oxygen mask. Friday night, Martha insisted on spending the night...we tried so hard to talk her out of it so they could both rest better. Late Friday night or early in the morning on Saturday...Jerry worsened and passed away. Thank you God, that Martha did not listen to us and stayed to be with Jerry to the bitter end. They said their "I love yous" and she watched him slip away to be with God. Quite a blessing after 52 1/2 years of being together.
Today, almost a week later, we laid him to rest. It has been a terrible trying time for us. We have cried, laughed, told stories, shared memories and visited with family from far away and just down the road. It has been a time when our friends and family have literally propped us up with their love and caring. I have felt so much love as we have navigated these scary waters. AND, I have been loved into much tighter clothing by some very amazing comfort food. Tomorrow, we begin to get back to life, back to a new reality. There is a Jerry sized hole in all of our hearts that time won't heal...but it will dull the sharp edges. He was an amazing dad, husband, grandfather, brother, friend and most of all for me, father-in-law. We will be heading into a whole bunch of firsts as the fall holidays begin...we have many traditions that will be so hard to do without him. Enjoy the upcoming Labor Day weekend AND, if you are the sort that grills hot dogs and brats on holidays like we are, please pray for our family as you eat that hot dog. Nobody ever loved hot dogs more than Jerry.
Losing a dad really sucks and to quote good ol' Forrest Gump, " That's all I have to say about that."
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Laugh More, Yell Less
This is going to start off with a joke shamelessly stolen from one of those funny lists that someone very funny writes and gets no credit for:
"I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay."
I'll wait for you to stop laughing. Unless you don't think it is funny...but then, if you don't laugh at stuff like that, how are you still reading my blog? My sense of humor is best described as middle school. I am so excited that I now get to share my humor with my high school daughters who laugh at me and reassure me they hear much worse at school and it isn't always funny. Their respect for me has only shifted slightly...I think.
The real meat of this post is that I have decided to set some very simple goals for myself. I am tired of beating myself up and never living up to the expectations of perfection I have for myself. It is depressing. As I get older, I like myself more and other people less. I don't necessarily think this is a good thing, but I know it is a fact. I also really prefer to keep company with people who really like me, laugh at my jokes and 'get' me. This little change in my life has led to much joy. It is so much more fun to hang out with people who think you rock than it is too hang out with people who shush you, get embarrassed because of you and look down their noses at your 'failure' to grow up. AND YES, at least 70% of those people are Christians. BUT, not ALL Christians are like that!! There are a whole bunch of us who don't take ourselves too seriously. We enjoy life and know full well we can only hope for forgiven with a huge side of mercy...perfect is not on our to-do list.
All of that to say this...I am still GUILT driven. I am aware of it and I am making great strides toward getting over myself. BUT, I feel like a total hypocrite in most church settings. There are some Christians that it is just plain dangerous for me to be around. My inner critic begins to find them perfect and then starts making a list of all the ways I am not and then...I hate them with a consuming jealousy. Then I repent and remind myself I should be more sanctified by now. I must love them with the LOVE OF THE LORD. But, honestly, it is easier for me to love a cussing, drunken chicken hawk man than Christians sometimes. I include myself in that Christian status...cause I am one.
We just miss it so often. We miss it. In our quest to raise perfect children and lead perfect lives, we miss it. In our drive to study the word, have our quiet time, save the world, and share the good news...we miss it. We are to be a reflection of Christ. Christ who ATTRACTED multitudes because of His JOY. His deep, sincere, radiating LOVE of PEOPLE. ALL PEOPLE, but especially sinners, lepers and tax collectors which would be translated to modern day as bitches, hos, aids victims and addicts. In fact, the Christians of His day did not like him because he spent too much time with sinners. Does this mean Jesus would spend more time in a tavern than a church?? I think so...but don't stretch it too far...He would not be drunk and singing Mister Bojangles with the Karaoke machine. But, he would love people right where they are. He doesn't actually get into the mud and roll around in it with us, but he doesn't mind getting some of our mud on him. In fact, it is that very mud that he died for.
All of that to say this, my focus is going to shift. I am going to quit trying to hold myself to an impossible standard. I will no longer measure the quality of my day by whether I was the perfect supermom and submissive wife. Instead I will talk to Jesus more, laugh more, and do my very best to yell less. My hope is that I will not harbor so much resentment and stress because I am constantly cracking under the pressure of perfection.
Because, if I am really honest with myself, on my most perfect 'Christian ideal' day, I am not attracting anyone to learn more about the good news of Christ's redemption plan. AND, I am passing on a stronghold of 'living a perfect life' to my children. AND too often living a perfect life looks and feels alot more like living a perfect lie which translates into a boatload of guilt. AND, I know there is no condemnation in the Lord because he keeps sending me that scripture...(Romans 8:1)
*from a good and trusted friend who prayed it over me
*in a daily devotional book
*handed to me by two dear Christian friends who would love to see me delivered from my guilt
*spoken from the stage at a Women of Faith conference
Thank you GOD for being so patient with me, a slow learning, guilt crippled sinner seen through your eyes as PERFECTION. PRAISE GOD!
"I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay."
I'll wait for you to stop laughing. Unless you don't think it is funny...but then, if you don't laugh at stuff like that, how are you still reading my blog? My sense of humor is best described as middle school. I am so excited that I now get to share my humor with my high school daughters who laugh at me and reassure me they hear much worse at school and it isn't always funny. Their respect for me has only shifted slightly...I think.
The real meat of this post is that I have decided to set some very simple goals for myself. I am tired of beating myself up and never living up to the expectations of perfection I have for myself. It is depressing. As I get older, I like myself more and other people less. I don't necessarily think this is a good thing, but I know it is a fact. I also really prefer to keep company with people who really like me, laugh at my jokes and 'get' me. This little change in my life has led to much joy. It is so much more fun to hang out with people who think you rock than it is too hang out with people who shush you, get embarrassed because of you and look down their noses at your 'failure' to grow up. AND YES, at least 70% of those people are Christians. BUT, not ALL Christians are like that!! There are a whole bunch of us who don't take ourselves too seriously. We enjoy life and know full well we can only hope for forgiven with a huge side of mercy...perfect is not on our to-do list.
All of that to say this...I am still GUILT driven. I am aware of it and I am making great strides toward getting over myself. BUT, I feel like a total hypocrite in most church settings. There are some Christians that it is just plain dangerous for me to be around. My inner critic begins to find them perfect and then starts making a list of all the ways I am not and then...I hate them with a consuming jealousy. Then I repent and remind myself I should be more sanctified by now. I must love them with the LOVE OF THE LORD. But, honestly, it is easier for me to love a cussing, drunken chicken hawk man than Christians sometimes. I include myself in that Christian status...cause I am one.
We just miss it so often. We miss it. In our quest to raise perfect children and lead perfect lives, we miss it. In our drive to study the word, have our quiet time, save the world, and share the good news...we miss it. We are to be a reflection of Christ. Christ who ATTRACTED multitudes because of His JOY. His deep, sincere, radiating LOVE of PEOPLE. ALL PEOPLE, but especially sinners, lepers and tax collectors which would be translated to modern day as bitches, hos, aids victims and addicts. In fact, the Christians of His day did not like him because he spent too much time with sinners. Does this mean Jesus would spend more time in a tavern than a church?? I think so...but don't stretch it too far...He would not be drunk and singing Mister Bojangles with the Karaoke machine. But, he would love people right where they are. He doesn't actually get into the mud and roll around in it with us, but he doesn't mind getting some of our mud on him. In fact, it is that very mud that he died for.
All of that to say this, my focus is going to shift. I am going to quit trying to hold myself to an impossible standard. I will no longer measure the quality of my day by whether I was the perfect supermom and submissive wife. Instead I will talk to Jesus more, laugh more, and do my very best to yell less. My hope is that I will not harbor so much resentment and stress because I am constantly cracking under the pressure of perfection.
Because, if I am really honest with myself, on my most perfect 'Christian ideal' day, I am not attracting anyone to learn more about the good news of Christ's redemption plan. AND, I am passing on a stronghold of 'living a perfect life' to my children. AND too often living a perfect life looks and feels alot more like living a perfect lie which translates into a boatload of guilt. AND, I know there is no condemnation in the Lord because he keeps sending me that scripture...(Romans 8:1)
*from a good and trusted friend who prayed it over me
*in a daily devotional book
*handed to me by two dear Christian friends who would love to see me delivered from my guilt
*spoken from the stage at a Women of Faith conference
Thank you GOD for being so patient with me, a slow learning, guilt crippled sinner seen through your eyes as PERFECTION. PRAISE GOD!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Refreshment
Sometimes things come along and they refresh us like rain falling in the desert. That is what this weekend did for me. I went with one of my favorite people in the world to the Women of Faith conference in Indianapolis this past Friday and Saturday. Between the bonding with Kimberly(and by bonding I mean hysterical laughing to the point of having sore abs) and the actual conference, I am renewed.
Thomas Nelson was good enough to provide me with free tickets for me and a friend to this conference in exchange for a review. Thomas Nelson basically blessed my socks off. Between that and a hotwire hotel called the WESTIN (best hotel bed EVER!!!), the trip was half the cost it normally would have been. And worth triple the cost it normally would have been...at least at this point in my dry thirsty life.
My favorite speaker was Angie Smith, who not only is a BLOGGER but also a homeschooler...even though my kids are in public school now, I still feel a camaraderie. Next was Lisa Harper. She has a beautiful smile that lights up a room! She told a story about a "nekkid man" that had me laughing so hard that I thought I might not stop. Then she turned me the other direction and had me crying all in less than an hour. The whole conference was just wonderful and I am so grateful that everything fell into place to allow me to go. Special thanks to my darling husband for being me on Friday which allowed the real me to leave early in the morning and make it on time for more sessions.
If there is one of these coming to your city...take the time to go. I promise, it will renew your spirit.
I must confess though, coming home after an event like this is hard. Real life is hard. Thank you God for giving us reprieves just when we need them. (AND, new mercies every morning!)
Thomas Nelson was good enough to provide me with free tickets for me and a friend to this conference in exchange for a review. Thomas Nelson basically blessed my socks off. Between that and a hotwire hotel called the WESTIN (best hotel bed EVER!!!), the trip was half the cost it normally would have been. And worth triple the cost it normally would have been...at least at this point in my dry thirsty life.
My favorite speaker was Angie Smith, who not only is a BLOGGER but also a homeschooler...even though my kids are in public school now, I still feel a camaraderie. Next was Lisa Harper. She has a beautiful smile that lights up a room! She told a story about a "nekkid man" that had me laughing so hard that I thought I might not stop. Then she turned me the other direction and had me crying all in less than an hour. The whole conference was just wonderful and I am so grateful that everything fell into place to allow me to go. Special thanks to my darling husband for being me on Friday which allowed the real me to leave early in the morning and make it on time for more sessions.
If there is one of these coming to your city...take the time to go. I promise, it will renew your spirit.
I must confess though, coming home after an event like this is hard. Real life is hard. Thank you God for giving us reprieves just when we need them. (AND, new mercies every morning!)
Sunday, August 14, 2011
WOW!
What a weekend. We knew two of our children would be gone this whole weekend. Erik spent Friday night on a date with Lilly to the races while I decluttered round this old house. Saturday, Erik and I set out to spoil Lilly with a trip to Toys R Us (where she was allowed to spend a $3 coupon plus $5 of mom's dollars) (hey big spenders!). TWO toys were purchased from the clearance rack. One is a science project kit(I blame homeschooling for her science fascination), the other was a whole set of gel pens and a card making kit(I blame homeschooling for her art fascination). After that it was off to the movies to spend a $15 gift card on 3 tickets to SMURFS!!! (Wait for the video.) It was such a fun day.
As soon as we walked in the door, the phone rang and one of her friends was desperate for Lilly to spend the night. AND then there were none. (Children left at home, that is.) Erik and I met up with my friend Marla for sushi, had a great visit and then came home to an empty house.~
This morning when we woke up, we considered skipping church for about 5 minutes and then we successfully fought that urge. We had a great afternoon, accomplished alot and then slowly the children came home. All is well now in sleepville, all the children are snuggled in bed. I love my kids, but a night without them was pretty sweet!
As soon as we walked in the door, the phone rang and one of her friends was desperate for Lilly to spend the night. AND then there were none. (Children left at home, that is.) Erik and I met up with my friend Marla for sushi, had a great visit and then came home to an empty house.~
This morning when we woke up, we considered skipping church for about 5 minutes and then we successfully fought that urge. We had a great afternoon, accomplished alot and then slowly the children came home. All is well now in sleepville, all the children are snuggled in bed. I love my kids, but a night without them was pretty sweet!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Painful Memory
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heath_High_School_shooting I am crying as I write this blog, but probably not for the reason most people do. This kid shooting up kids in his school was beyond tragic...words cannot even describe how devastating this event was on the school staff, students, members of the community and quite frankly, this whole end of the state. I don't know anyone who doesn't know someone connected to the shooting in one way or another.
I had two little babies at the time, Erika was just over 1 year and Kayla was right at 6 months old. I could not imagine what it was like for parents with school-aged children. I was so frightened that this could happen and in fact, DID happen.
Now, all these years later, my heart aches for Michael Carneal more than anyone else. I never expected to feel this way...he is, after all, a convicted murderer. There is no doubt that he did it. He was 14 years old and very small for his age. He open fired on a prayer circle. After dropping the gun, Carneal said to another kid: "Kill me, please. I can't believe I did that." We watched every second of the news coverage, the trial coverage and the news still reports each appeal and also reports on the survivors of the shooting. What we don't hear is how this boy, now all grown up, faces himself in the mirror every day.
My heart aches for Michael and his family because it can't be undone. I have no doubt that he planned it and implemented it. It was certainly premeditated. By a 14 year old boy who had nothing going right for him. He was tired of rejection and being bullied. Add to that his obvious hormonal imbalance and maybe even a side of depression. Oh yeah, lest we not forget, he was a gamer...death and war games specifically. Introverted into his own little killing world all the time. So he did it. And instantly wished he was dead because he could not believe he did THAT. Instantly, his parents could no longer hold their heads up. He and his family would never be treated the same again. ("What kind of monsters would produce such a monster?" was commonly heard.) And yet, they are not monsters. None of them. Just people. Who did things wrong and right. No different than you or me. But some mistakes cannot be undone.
And so, the announcement for yet another appeal for Michael Carneal today broke my heart into all over again. God can redeem this boy and I hope and pray that He has...but he will never be free from a hell on this earth brought on by his own mistake.
May God help us all to love the teenagers in our lives and not minimize their feelings. Sometimes we forget just how strong our emotions were at that age. We also forget just how mean teenagers can be to one another. We forget how mean we sometimes are to young people that get on our nerves...sometimes with good reason. Maybe we even empathize with the cooler, more socially acceptable teens for not wanting to include the weird kid, the introverted shy kid, the nerdy kid, the fat kid, the ugly kid, or the _____kid. If we do though, shame on us. All people are created in God's image and that means something. ALL PEOPLE are God's. AND, if I read my Bible right, he has a particularly soft spot for children.
Please send up a prayer for Michael and his family. I don't condone his actions. I don't see what he did as anything but 100% wrong. But I can imagine how badly he wished he could turn back time. AND My heart aches for him.
I had two little babies at the time, Erika was just over 1 year and Kayla was right at 6 months old. I could not imagine what it was like for parents with school-aged children. I was so frightened that this could happen and in fact, DID happen.
Now, all these years later, my heart aches for Michael Carneal more than anyone else. I never expected to feel this way...he is, after all, a convicted murderer. There is no doubt that he did it. He was 14 years old and very small for his age. He open fired on a prayer circle. After dropping the gun, Carneal said to another kid: "Kill me, please. I can't believe I did that." We watched every second of the news coverage, the trial coverage and the news still reports each appeal and also reports on the survivors of the shooting. What we don't hear is how this boy, now all grown up, faces himself in the mirror every day.
My heart aches for Michael and his family because it can't be undone. I have no doubt that he planned it and implemented it. It was certainly premeditated. By a 14 year old boy who had nothing going right for him. He was tired of rejection and being bullied. Add to that his obvious hormonal imbalance and maybe even a side of depression. Oh yeah, lest we not forget, he was a gamer...death and war games specifically. Introverted into his own little killing world all the time. So he did it. And instantly wished he was dead because he could not believe he did THAT. Instantly, his parents could no longer hold their heads up. He and his family would never be treated the same again. ("What kind of monsters would produce such a monster?" was commonly heard.) And yet, they are not monsters. None of them. Just people. Who did things wrong and right. No different than you or me. But some mistakes cannot be undone.
And so, the announcement for yet another appeal for Michael Carneal today broke my heart into all over again. God can redeem this boy and I hope and pray that He has...but he will never be free from a hell on this earth brought on by his own mistake.
May God help us all to love the teenagers in our lives and not minimize their feelings. Sometimes we forget just how strong our emotions were at that age. We also forget just how mean teenagers can be to one another. We forget how mean we sometimes are to young people that get on our nerves...sometimes with good reason. Maybe we even empathize with the cooler, more socially acceptable teens for not wanting to include the weird kid, the introverted shy kid, the nerdy kid, the fat kid, the ugly kid, or the _____kid. If we do though, shame on us. All people are created in God's image and that means something. ALL PEOPLE are God's. AND, if I read my Bible right, he has a particularly soft spot for children.
Please send up a prayer for Michael and his family. I don't condone his actions. I don't see what he did as anything but 100% wrong. But I can imagine how badly he wished he could turn back time. AND My heart aches for him.
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Solitude
The little ducklings are all at school today. Nervous and excited and loving every minute of it. Oh, they claim to hate school just like every other child in America. But, I know they love it. How do I know? No one could sleep due to the nervous energy in the house...mom and dad included. Everyone was up at the crack of dawn. Clothes carefully laid out last night were donned and then changed and then tweaked. No one wanted clothes that scream NEW, but no one wanted to repeat outfits from last year either. School supplies were packed carefully.
This morning's breakfast casserole was devoured and mom hopes there was enough protein to get them to lunch. Poptarts were also provided so children would not be tempted to pay 75 cents for one in the breakfast line.
I think about this public school decision all the time. I do not regret homeschool. I can still argue both sides of the coin. BUT, I do know this, my kids love school and that makes me feel good about the direction our life is going in and good about all the years I invested in homeschool.
Did I mention that I have just spent one whole hour enjoying the morning cool of our air conditioning and savoring the bliss of solitude? As the day wears on, the cool will become less since it is hotter than hellfire and brimstone in Kentucky right now. I will go out and finish the last of my two stores today. BUT, this solitude will last the entire day until 3:15ish. AND, tomorrow it will begin again. Lest you be very jealous, know that from 3:15 until bedtime it will be a crazy madhouse. There is cross country practice, supper, homework, last minute projects, last minute shopping and family stuff. All crammed into a ridiculously tight 4 hours or so. And this solitude is what will make it all possible.
Gotta go change out of my referee shirt and into loungewear. Now, where did I put my bon bons?
This morning's breakfast casserole was devoured and mom hopes there was enough protein to get them to lunch. Poptarts were also provided so children would not be tempted to pay 75 cents for one in the breakfast line.
I think about this public school decision all the time. I do not regret homeschool. I can still argue both sides of the coin. BUT, I do know this, my kids love school and that makes me feel good about the direction our life is going in and good about all the years I invested in homeschool.
Did I mention that I have just spent one whole hour enjoying the morning cool of our air conditioning and savoring the bliss of solitude? As the day wears on, the cool will become less since it is hotter than hellfire and brimstone in Kentucky right now. I will go out and finish the last of my two stores today. BUT, this solitude will last the entire day until 3:15ish. AND, tomorrow it will begin again. Lest you be very jealous, know that from 3:15 until bedtime it will be a crazy madhouse. There is cross country practice, supper, homework, last minute projects, last minute shopping and family stuff. All crammed into a ridiculously tight 4 hours or so. And this solitude is what will make it all possible.
Gotta go change out of my referee shirt and into loungewear. Now, where did I put my bon bons?
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Just Stuff
- I am highly emotional these days. It is very annoying. I know I am in the stage of peri-menopause. Whatever!!... it is very annoying to not only cry often but to need to cry to feel better. It's not sad all the time but it is becoming about a once a week catharsis-the sad, unhappy cry. The good news is that the other 3 or four times a week I am tearing up because I feel so lucky and blessed...that is a good kind of cry to have (if you have to have one). So, saying something very nice to me OR something not nice may get you the same result...use caution. ( :
- My family reunion is coming up. Right around the time of my oldest daughter's birthday. This is because when I was 36 weeks pregnant with her, I thoroughly enjoyed several games of volleyball, went with my honey on a motorcycle ride, ate my weight in watermelon and cantaloupe, and then came home and enjoyed being married. ( ; The next morning my water broke and Erika was born. This means her birthday often falls on the first Saturday in August which is the date of our reunion. She doesn't exactly love it. She also doesn't exactly hate it, so we are okay.
- School starts back on Thursday. Too soon for my taste. Mid September would be my preference, but I think we could all use a bit more structure. Mid September wasn't an option when we homeschooled either...it just wasn't a big deal to go back to school so early when we were homeschooled. I am often romanced by the thought of returning to homeschooling. Then the kids have a fight over something, I have to referee and then I remember why we could no longer be together 24/7. Then I sing a little song of praise because I don't have to do grades, lesson plans or syllabi. WOOT WOOT!!
- Back to school shopping sucks. I haven't had to do it since Erika was in third grade. I just hate it. We have been sort of saving up and knowing this day was coming, but the cost is a little staggering. Completely staggering. Now, we again have to factor extra gas and lunch money into our budget. And little surprise expenses. Gosh, a free education sure costs a lot of money.
- I had dinner with my mom Friday night and it was a very nice visit. We went to the cemetery where the aunt I named Lilly after is buried. (I adapted the spelling because all of my kids have five letter names.) Lillie Phillips Davidson was born June 1, 1888 and died October 16th, 1980. I was only 8 when she died but I loved her so much. She filled empty medicine bottles with pennies to give us when we came over. She had rice crispies and delicious WHOLE milk (we always drank powdered milk at home...YUK!). She usually cut thin slices of banana up in the rice crispies for us. If we had a cough(and we always made sure to), she mixed up honey and lemon juice and fed it to us by the spoon full. She never had children but you sure couldn't tell it. She loved us with all her heart and I feel kind of sad my kids don't have an elderly great aunt in their life that thinks they are IT. I still have the Bible she gave me. She is one of the things I look forward to most about Heaven. And Aunt Jewell and Aunt Dola...two other great aunts that loved me.
- I'm going to a Women of Faith Conference and I cannot wait!! Erika asked me today when I was going and I told her. She asked when I was coming back and I said, "I'm not." I am going to stow away in one of the speaker's suitcase and travel the circuit with them. Do you think they will notice?
- I guess that is all for now. I truly intended to go to bed early tonight. LOL.
Friday, July 29, 2011
People Post
I truly have a love/hate relationship with people. On one hand, I JUST LOVE them. They are interesting to watch. They are uplifting, encouraging. People are an excellent example of God's sense of humor. I love to meet couples because they are so often the last two people you would put together if you were playing 'match'. I love to visit churches and realize that although the faces are different, you can still match them to the people from your church. I love the way people in cars hardly ever match their bumper stickers(or their cars for that matter). I love the way the scariest, tatoo-y-ist people are the ones who will spot you a quarter or hold the door open for you. I love to see big gruff looking men holding a little baby girl and watching how completely wrapped they are. I love the way people come in all diferent shapes, sizes and personality types. I am amazed when I meet a real life "Pat"...the androgenous person...he or she? I love watching reactions and especially how "Pat" handles it. I love watching people. From interaction with others to how they are when alone in a crowd...fascinating. FaSKINating.
On the other hand, people get on my very last nerve. The rude way some think they are better than others. The stupidity of women that dress like skanky hos. The real stupidity of big fat women that dress like skanky hos and make us all dread summer. People who smoke and talk nasty while holding little angels. Women who treat their husbands like idiots...husbands who treat their wives like idiots. Perverts that check out all females in a 3mile radius in a ridiculously pervy way that makes you feel like you'll never be clean again. Spoiled brat kids that 'line out their parents' on a regular basis. People who think animals are better than people.
I bet you share my dilemma. I believe we are put on this earth to live in relationship with one another and LOVE with the love of the Lord. I also believe for some of us, especially with some people, that requires divine intervention. I also believe the more I ask God for that divine intervention to help me love those I can't stand, the more I realize there are those asking for it to be able to love me. AND, then I realize that to be loved by another is one of the greatest gifts of all. To be loved and appreciated with the love of the Lord...PRICELESS. AND, when we get that, we can begin to heal and become what God has planned for us to become.
I am very blessed. I have some people in my life that make it pretty clear that I get on their nerves. I can name several people that don't enjoy my comments or my company. However, I am surrounded by many more people who love me despite my flaws. People who know the REAL me and love me. Some times in spite of my flaws and sometimes because of my flaws. God has put me in a place in life where all my friends are not 'in one basket'. They are all over my life and sometimes I run across 20 of them in one day and it makes my heart sing.
Today was one of those days and I can truly say that although I am tired, it is well with my soul. God used some really awesome friends to bless my socks off today and I loved every minute of it.
On the other hand, people get on my very last nerve. The rude way some think they are better than others. The stupidity of women that dress like skanky hos. The real stupidity of big fat women that dress like skanky hos and make us all dread summer. People who smoke and talk nasty while holding little angels. Women who treat their husbands like idiots...husbands who treat their wives like idiots. Perverts that check out all females in a 3mile radius in a ridiculously pervy way that makes you feel like you'll never be clean again. Spoiled brat kids that 'line out their parents' on a regular basis. People who think animals are better than people.
I bet you share my dilemma. I believe we are put on this earth to live in relationship with one another and LOVE with the love of the Lord. I also believe for some of us, especially with some people, that requires divine intervention. I also believe the more I ask God for that divine intervention to help me love those I can't stand, the more I realize there are those asking for it to be able to love me. AND, then I realize that to be loved by another is one of the greatest gifts of all. To be loved and appreciated with the love of the Lord...PRICELESS. AND, when we get that, we can begin to heal and become what God has planned for us to become.
I am very blessed. I have some people in my life that make it pretty clear that I get on their nerves. I can name several people that don't enjoy my comments or my company. However, I am surrounded by many more people who love me despite my flaws. People who know the REAL me and love me. Some times in spite of my flaws and sometimes because of my flaws. God has put me in a place in life where all my friends are not 'in one basket'. They are all over my life and sometimes I run across 20 of them in one day and it makes my heart sing.
Today was one of those days and I can truly say that although I am tired, it is well with my soul. God used some really awesome friends to bless my socks off today and I loved every minute of it.
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