Christmas Tidings

The tree is up. The house is decorated. The Christmas letters/cards are ready and MIGHT get mailed out tomorrow. The shopping is done, most all of the wrapping is done. The cookies are made and ready for cookie swap tomorrow night. All the 'to do' things are mostly done. And I feel...nothing.

I tell myself that will change as we get more into the festivities of Christmas. A few gatherings with friends and family will make everything all better. This is my favorite time of year and this year it just isn't doing it for me. I'm not going into alot of grumbling because that really doesn't help anything. Some of the circumstances in my life really make me crazy. And yet, we all have circumstances. Mine are no more or less than anyone else's.

All I really know is that this Christmas, the serenity prayer is on my lips non-stop. There are positive changes I could make. There are things about myself that need to change. There are blessings that I don't fully plug into. There are blessings I forget to count. The funny thing about life is that if everything is always good, your character won't grow a bit. Every good thing usually has some bad to weed out of it. Weeding the bad out is hard work and I often neglect it and wonder why I can't find the good. I think I have too many weeds in my character garden to enjoy Christmas this year. The first step is admitting the weeds exist, right?

I am really fighting this year with the expectations my mind has of life, marriage, family and all that it should be versus reality. These expectations are my biggest 'weed'. The expectations are shattering all around and I am doing my best to build a new life for myself in the realities and sweep those expectations into the trash where they can't do any further damage to me and my relationships. Expectations are straight for the Evil One. The only 'for certain' of life is that nothing is 'for certain'.

Weekend Flurry of Activiity

How much can you squeeze into a weekend?

• Friday night movies watching, gig for Dad.
• Saturday morning-character skate and down-town walk around to go get chocolate. Go to Southern Illinois to a tree farm. Pick out perfect tree, take lots of pictures with it...get told it has a 'fungus" problem and to please select another. Fight feelings of being annoyed with the truth that this guy cares about us getting a good tree that won't die. Choose another perfect tree, make photos. Ride in back of trailer back to tree farm 'home'. Watch them shake down the pine needles and wrap it up in a net for traveling home. Get some hot chocolate and animal crackers for the ride home.
• Relax at home for approximately one hour and then get ready for the Christmas parade. Fight about arrival time and try to get everyone to their parade spot. Walk the parade, have a blast. Sneak up four floats ahead of the Postal floats to see Hulagirl, teen angel and teen angel's friend. Try to console Lilly who is about to die that we broke formation.
• Come home and fall into bed exhausted.
• Get up and attem for church. Look at netted tree on trailer and promise it we will get it in the house soon! Come home from church and get started tag teaming for house clean up and lunch prep. Eat and prepare to get house ready for decorate tree mode. As we move furniture, decide some touch up paint is required.
• Mom finds paint and commences touching up some scuff marks. After mom has touched up a few spots, realize it is the wrong color paint. Keep painting considering it primer for the right color mom will find in a moment.
• Look through all the paint in the closet for right color. Discover there is not any paint the right color. Dad has vague recollection of running out of that color paint last year. Mom and Dad brace themselves for the required living room paint. Get entire living room painted and trimmed in record time. Take older children to youth group activity and hope to decorate tree Monday night.
• Dad stays home to console Lilly. Lilly remains giddy with excitement about decorating coupled with the upset of a day's delay.

Wow. what a way to end a week and start a new one. O Christmas tree...

Anger Danger

I've had this day and night all mapped out in my head since last night. This is due to the fact that Hubby has tomorrow all mapped out (whether I like it or not...but I DO like the map). We had a busy morning doing genetics and blood typing and GASP-long division because of probabilities. You would have thought we had asked the children to eat a little poop the way they acted over doing TWO long division problems. After science, we got some super cheap lunch and then went to the library for a quick game of Clue and much needed, soon to be extremely rare, free time. I bargained with piano teacher last night to have a free afternoon. I think she is having the same busy month as I am because she agreed.

My plans for tonight were to make cookies and finish our book on CD because Hubby has a gig. A whole day of girls time when we did not have to accomplish a thing. Yummy. Sandwiches for supper. Easy. Peasy.

We came home to...Hubby. ?? Apparently his drums are all set up and he will be here till the kiddos go to bed. My plans are now different. I was angry...but now? After writing this post?? Anger danger is over. I'm going to my room to read a book. Hello me time! Anger, you get a boot to the head.

FLAT-ulence

As a young girl in a house full of girls, farting was kept to an accidental minimum. At school, same thing. It was just shameful. Boys didn't even fart back then...at least not around girls. If one ever slipped out and the sound was acknowledged, it would immediately be covered somehow- examples: That was my shoe! Oops, my belt caught on the desk. What was that strange noise?

Well, the times have changed. Kids-oh my goodness, even the girls!!- love to giggle and cackle over the gas they pass. So, I have tried to roll with the times and have mostly changed my attitude about it in a not really kind of way. As in, I try not to make a big deal of it, but sometimes I find myself launching into a tirade about manners and a long "back in my day" speech. So, balance. We aren't all holding it in all the time (in fact, hardly ever at home) but I am trying to at least establish some social decorum in the 'toot' category.

However, there is a huge barrier that prevents my poot social preferences from sinking in. The fact that we help care for our aging relatives. Apparently, something happens as you get older. Specifically, farts happen as you get older. Sudden undeniable gas explosions. Now, it is my firm belief that these should be completely ignored. Just pretend it never happened while creating a nice distance between you and the shooter. Sometimes though, they are so loud and shocking that there is no time to give the kids a dirty look before they explode into raucous laughter. Unfortunately, being around middle school toot hoots and howls rubs off.

All of that to say this, recently when a very mannerly lady-like member of the family 'cut the cheese', it took every ounce of self-control I had not to laugh out loud which would have embarrassed her to death. There was not even a single child around us so I have no excuse for my childish impulse. Except that farts are never funnier than when they come from someone who 'would NEVER!'

Leadership

It is funny, we all strive to raise children that grow into leaders. I remember being groomed and trained for leadership my whole school career. I was labeled a leader and great things were expected of me. It is only in the past, oh 5 years maybe, that I have realized the most essential element of leadership. Wanting what is best for all involved, even if that means I don't get my way. As a matter of fact, leaders seldom get their way. Why wasn't I trained about that?

Since serving on the PATCH board this year, I have really learned alot about serving/leading people on a corporate level. It is an education that is painful. Here are the highlights:

• You really can't please everyone.
• The blame game is alive and well.
• There are no *perks*.
• Some people are best ignored.
• Some people enjoy keeping the sh*t pot stirred. (They are known as turds.)
• There is that one person who could do everything so much better than anyone else...if they had the time. However, they have no time.
• Enforcing rules delicately is an oxymoron.

I could go on and on, but I won't-it's depressing!!

Things I am thankful for:

• Friends who encourage me to be the best me that I can.
• There are still people who step up into leadership positions, knowing what they are in for.
• To mentor and to have been mentored.
• I am thankful for having a very sensitive nature coupled with brassy boldness even though it gets me into trouble daily.
• The guidelines God gives us for dealing with conflict. How much easier the world would be if we all followed these guidelines!!

Matthew 18:15-17

15. If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. 17. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or tax collector.

I wish I could say that I always follow these guidelines. I don't. But I try. After this learning season, I try even harder. Gossip kills but grace and compassion give new life, abundantly.

A Review: The Liturgical Year

The Liturgical Year: The Spiraling Adventure of the Spiritual Life by Joan Chittister is the full name of this book. I was so excited to receive this book to review. I am fascinated with the Catholic religion. I love all the ceremony surrounding and including their regular worship. I believe that God is not only in the plain and mundane, but He should also be in high places. He should be revered, celebrated with a feast, celebrated with a fast. He should also be a part of the day to day. We are created in His image which means He will have as many facets as we do, as many different subtexts as our lives can hold.

However, this book did not meet my expectations. This book was more of a philosophy book. Instead of going into detail about the different customs in detail, she merely discusses each tradition. The book I was expecting has probably already been written...I'm checking into the footnoted sources.

Reading this book was a learning experience though, I loved her point that years are not ever alike, they are not merely a calendar function. The years we live are each unique from one another and shape us into the people God means for us to be. She also eludes to the fact that if we live each year liturgically, as Christ did, we will become more Christlike. The things done as rote do 'settle in' to our psyches and make us more like He was. I am a firm believer in this opinion. Habits may seem trite as first, but they do shape us. Most Christians go to church on Sunday. If they don't, it says more about church today than it does about rituals. I guarantee that if one has spent a lifetime attending church on Sunday, that person is thinking about God on Sunday. Maybe in a rebellious way, maybe in a worshipping way-but the habit has done what it was supposed to, created a remembrance.

I flirt with the idea of converting to Catholicism, just to learn the rituals, customs, etc. And so if I see someone from church in the liquor store, neither of us has to feel guilty about it.

If It's Not One Thing, It's Two!

While I was finishing up my shopping, Mount Washmore declared itself an independent nation. Mount Papers To Be Graded has also seceded from our peaceful union and declared war on my soul. There is nothing to be done but fight the good fight as their troops outnumber my troops exponentially. So there you go, accomplish one thing and seven other things revolt. I am woman hear me roar. (Woman's work is NEVER done!!)

I have now finished my month of teaching the 2 year olds-kindergarten at church. I have thoroughly enjoyed it, despite choosing a 5 Sunday month. It has been great working with children so far from my own developmentally. The only problem is that some of my crafts were a bit over their head. Two year olds cannot glue 100 construction paper squares into little squares on a paper. No, not even with help. Even if it gives them a visual for how old Abraham was when Isaac was born. It will take almost the entire class time to "help" them all finish.

All three of my children were delighted to help me prepare for my teaching endeavor and Kayla was my helper in the actual class. It allowed me to see what wonderful servants my children are growing into. I know I am way too hard on my kiddos. I can't help but constantly be in 'help them develop into a better person' critical mode instead of 'praise them for being great kids' mode. I really need to fix that about myself.

It has been a busy, fun holiday weekend. Erik's sister Marla and her family were in for Thanksgiving. There were also some extended family members present. We had a great meal and then traveled to my sister's to visit with my family. Baby Noah was completely done smiling by the time we got there. I held him anyway. I don't see him enough to be choosy about his moods. Saturday we savored every moment of the gorgeous weather to do some back yard work. I am now hobbled in my right knee again. Woo hoo. The good news is that our back yard looks good and part of our fence row is cleared out. Sort of. It will be an all-winter job to get it cleared.

Now, I must get off of here. There are 8000 other things that I are priorities over this and a kitty has decided to snuggle. It is hard to type with a kitty between me and the keyboard. Enjoy your brand new sparkly Monday.

'Tis The Season

Thanksgiving is now officially over, as is the crazy shopping day known as Black Friday. Since I have shopped on Black Friday in years gone by, I am allowed to criticize, right? It is the people who do it faithfully for years whose sanity I question. Although, I think the people you have with you make or break it. I had a blast last year with my sister Linda and her friend. I also ran into lots of folks I hadn't seen in years. I got a few bargains...but mostly I got alot of cheap crap that was marked down to a ridiculous cheap price. A few of my best bargains:

• Phillippe Richards complete cookware set for $19.99. I noticed JC Penney had this one going again. I actually had to pay full price which was $59.99. The $40.00 rebate involved me mailing my receipt in within a few days of purchase and then my rebate card came in the mail around the first part of March. What a steal! It was cheap cookware than serves me well considering how hard I am on my cookware.
• Hoodies for my girls from Wal-mart. Crap. total crap. They pilled the first time I washed them. One of them was black...aiy aiy aiy. They were instantly declared 'playclothes'.
• PJ's from Walmart. Crap E. McCrap. Way too boxy to fit real bodies and very lousy material.
• A running outfit that no one in the family could wear from...yep...Wal-mart. I can only guess what the quality was on this as it was a bargain never worn.
• A digital camera from JC Penney for Lilly. We were never able to make it work. We tried and tried but it never did anything remotely resembling what it was supposed to do. AND...since it was well into January before we had the time to get around to fiddling with it, it was past the time frame for returning it.

So the lesson learned was to really think about what items my children and Christmas list folk would enjoy getting. I did not want to make out my list from Black Friday flyers because I honestly believe either the merchandise is sub-par or they only have one of whatever spectacular thing there is. I have done very well this year just shopping the pre-Thanksgiving sales and *SHUDDER*-regular priced items. I ordered a few things online and I am happy to say that I am finished with my shopping. Erik and I made one more run last Monday and we finished. I wouldn't trade finished at Thanksgiving for a whole set of Black Friday deals.

How about you? Black Friday fan or foe?