I'm Not A Lutheran...

Writing, Leadership : 84%
Administration: 78%
Hospitality: 59%
Pastoral, Service: 50%
Mercy, Evangelism, Artistry: 42%
Wisdom, Knowledge: 34%
Teaching, Discernment, Intercession: 25%

...but I did take their spiritual gifts quiz. AND, I agree with my results for the most part. I don't see myself as a leader, but I do have people share with me that I am on a regular basis. I certainly don't ever mind being in charge of things although that is often not my preference. I just feel that someone has to be and if no one else is stepping up, I'll just do it.





The writing and administration I do realize and dearly love both. Passionately. Also I love service and mercy. What does pastoral mean??? I'll have to research that one. I score pretty low in knowledge, wisdom and teaching. That makes me chuckle because that is the place I am used most often at my church. It is a good thing I am not using the old standby, "That's just really not my gift." If I had a nickel for every time I heard that during the TEN years I help lead our pre-school classes, I'd be rich.





So, go take the test. I'd love to hear about your gifts!! It does not give you exact percentages...it is a bar graph.

Auntie Fester

I am a festerer. I am trying not to be. I am not as bad as I once was. However, it still exists. Often I have knee-jerk responses of anger and hostility that grow into a large festering boil. Hence my new name for myself, Auntie Fester. God is working on this personality accessory. He does this by providing me a few REALLY GOOD friends that read my blog, hold my feet to the fire and insist I speak up or shut up. I know they would prefer to eliminate the whole blog post...maybe someday. Right now that is just part of processing things for this old Auntie.



So anyway, a recent molehill that had grown almost as big as Mount Washmore is resolved. Perhaps permanently on my part. I don't want to say that I have lowered my expectations because that isn't exactly what has happened. I would say it is more like I have developed an ability to be more empathetic. I am developing an ability to argue both sides of the debate and recognize that sometimes no one is 'right' and there is not a clear 'winner'. There are always 2 sides to every story and an unhealthy bias to both of those sides no matter how objective we think we are.

I am divorcing the notion of perfect fellowship because that just can't happen this side of heaven.



I am thankful to have a real family at my church- real meaning you just really get on each other's nerves sometimes but the relationship and Godly value is too high to just let it go. You have to push through the conflicts, serve hefty doses of mercy all around, build a bridge and get over it. I am thankful to be able to indeed, get over it. I am also thankful for the spiritual maturity that God has begun in me. My friend, I'll call her Simply Sandy, once reminded me how easy it is to maintain online blog relationships where everyone hears your side and spurs you on. She then went on to say in the real world where people know both sides of the story, you are held to a higher standard of accountability. Blogging friends are fun, but personal growth is much more likely to happen in real life relationships. It is a double blessing to have friends who are in both worlds. God bless my wise friends.

In conclusion...I have built a bridge and I am over it. Until the next Festivus...

Oh Lilly!!

Yesterday we ran into our Associate Preacher, Mike and his wife, Sara walking out of Kroger as we were walking in. Hugs all around- a gut buster from Lilly. Mike remarked how glad he was that Lilly is taller now...the insanely awkward hugs are not as awkward now. ( ; Then Lilly proceeds to look at the rings on his fingers-a cross ring on one hand and his wedding band on the other. Then she says:

"I didn't know you two were married." Much chuckling all around. We just never know what goes on in that brain of hers or when it is going to be spoken allowed.

This morning I asked her who she thought Mike was married to. She said she thought he and Sara were engaged and Sara just made sure to always be there anytime the youth group was over.

Mike, Sara-congrats again on being married and looking soooo young that you aren't even married yet. Just wait until we tell her you both are finished with college and have jobs.

Laboring

Yesterday, hubby and I labored jointly on the monumental task of making our shower decent. When we moved in, it left alot to be desired and so we put it on a back burner. Over the years, we have had many industrious cleaning bouts with it but none like yesterday. I took the doors outside for a serious scrubbing and Hubby did the same inside. We both used some serious cleaning product combined with serious elbow grease. AND, it looks pretty good. I still desperately want a new shower-preferably a nice tile shower, but it will suffice until the day we have some extra thousands to throw around.

Today I cleaned all the trash cans and worked on laundry while Erik took the girls to the parade. They had a ball and I loved being alone at home. Now we are at my in-laws. We have eaten like kings and now we are doing the whole laying about thing. I have the best in-laws ever. They spoil us almost every holiday and sometimes even when there is no holiday. We are blessed.

This afternoon I plan to do some more cleaning. I hate cleaning but it really has to get done...even if it quickly gets undone. However, I won't rush our laying about time here...where it is always clean.

Going to the Sunflowers!!

Power

Power, it is just another word, right? People have lived and died for and as a direct result of power. Who has the power is often what determines whether or not a marriage works or sometimes if it can be saved. What kind of role does power play in the life of a Christian? Which pew does power sit in at church? Who determines who has the power?

Power is on my brain today. There are other words I might us, like influence, but I prefer to use the tough word for it. POWER. It makes a statement. It is bold and raw. It isn't dressed up and politically correct. I am talking about the kind of power that hurts. The power that one person asserts over another-or lots of others. I am not talking about DENNY CRANE power that loudly asserts itself to anyone who will listen. I'm talking about the quiet pervasive power that goes bump in the night. The power that seeps in slowly and takes your breath away because you didn't expect it.

That is the kind of power I am thinking about. Mostly I am praying about it. We all have power. We all have the potential to use our power to get our way. What happens if I use it to such an extent that good people are hurt. What happens if I start thinking my way is the best, my people are the best, my preferences are every one's preferences-or they should be. What if I start to think I know who God wants to fill servant positions and I ignore the call someone else may feel in their life. Who wins if I always get what I want?

Honestly, who am I? I am but a vapor. Nothing I do here has any merit without the will of my Father at its root. He is the perfect parent, he has no favorites. He equips the called, not calls the equipped. He is strong where we are weak. The people who can be used most mightily might not be the people we think of first. It is not His will that one person be declared 'better' than another. EVAH. NO NOT EVAH. So why does it keep happening? It breaks my heart. In a thousand itty bitty slivers.

Me, Work?

My sister's factory needs extremely temporary help sorting small plastic tubes. They each have a tiny number stamped on the bottom. It is hard to see. Only about 20% of each batch is 'good'. I am busily sorting the good from the bad. This is why I am not a very good blogger, mother, wife, friend, etc. This pretty much answers a question I've been asking myself: Can I juggle homelife and a career/job. Yes, but not very well. Not very well at all.

A Book Review: Surrender All

Surrender All by Joni Lamb is a book about trusting God. I have to admit, I did not love the beginning of this book at all. I thought Joni was entirely too pretty and didn't look like she ever overslept or had a bad day. I did not want to read about another perfect life that turned out all perfectly perfect. I TOTALLY judged a book by its cover. THEN, I started reading all about the trials Joni and her husband went through to start a TV station for God. AND THEN, after they were successful, God told them to sell and go somewhere else and start from scratch. So, being someone who happens to believe that God doesn't really care WHERE I live-He cares HOW I live, I began to REALLY struggle with this book. However, making my way through the rest of the book, I began to change my mind.

It covers surrendering friendships, marriage, children and more to God. All to help us understand that God is a giving God. When we surrender ourselves, our will, our plans to Him, he blesses us exponentially. When we don't surrender, it not only doesn't FREE us, it works right into the plans of the evil one. The evil one doesn't want us to ever receive blessings so he will make us feel that surrender is pointless.

I have surrendered many things through the years and God has always honored it. Even little things, like going to church. I don't always like to go to church. It is ALWAYS a struggle for me. I am selfish with my time. Mostly because I think 99% of people don't even notice when you sacrifice time for them. Especially church attendance-that is like a Christian responsibility that shalt not be shirked!! Some treat it like a Christian time card that must be punched. So, giving up a Wednesday night to go to a church service that may or may not leave me feeling closer to God is always an inner battle. God knows this about me and so I almost always receive "little extras" when I surrender my free will and go to church. Maybe it is having a REAL conversation with a friend going through tough stuff. Maybe it is one of my kids or myself being impacted in a way that improves our home life. Maybe it is just feeling like I have communed with God and family. GOD always honors my sacrifice of time.

Joni Lamb in this book makes the bold statement that God wants us to truly surrender all. It is a stretch for me to hear that. Not because I have not heard it all my life. Not because I think she is wrong. Mostly it is hard to hear because my selfish self does not want to surrender. My selfish self prefers to not give up things without a fight. I like to play my cards close to my chest and only sacrifice when there is something in it for me. God doesn't honor that. He loves me anyway, but He wants me to be more than that. Surrender, true surrender, is more than just lip service. I could talk a big talk about how important it is, but that doesn't mean a thing to God. He is a God that requires action, not talking about it.

I guarantee you that if you make any sacrifice of yourself-preferences, time, marriage, etc.-God will give it back to you ten times better. Keep in mind though, it may take some time before that happens. He is not a God bound by time in any way. Most of the time his blessings are like a mutual fund-very slow growth not an ATM that dispenses instant cash.

I recommend Surrender All by Joni Lamb. I also recommend surrendering all. I also admit, it is one of the hardest things in the world to do.