Thursday, September 10, 2009

Auntie Fester

I am a festerer. I am trying not to be. I am not as bad as I once was. However, it still exists. Often I have knee-jerk responses of anger and hostility that grow into a large festering boil. Hence my new name for myself, Auntie Fester. God is working on this personality accessory. He does this by providing me a few REALLY GOOD friends that read my blog, hold my feet to the fire and insist I speak up or shut up. I know they would prefer to eliminate the whole blog post...maybe someday. Right now that is just part of processing things for this old Auntie.

So anyway, a recent molehill that had grown almost as big as Mount Washmore is resolved. Perhaps permanently on my part. I don't want to say that I have lowered my expectations because that isn't exactly what has happened. I would say it is more like I have developed an ability to be more empathetic. I am developing an ability to argue both sides of the debate and recognize that sometimes no one is 'right' and there is not a clear 'winner'. There are always 2 sides to every story and an unhealthy bias to both of those sides no matter how objective we think we are.

I am divorcing the notion of perfect fellowship because that just can't happen this side of heaven.

I am thankful to have a real family at my church- real meaning you just really get on each other's nerves sometimes but the relationship and Godly value is too high to just let it go. You have to push through the conflicts, serve hefty doses of mercy all around, build a bridge and get over it. I am thankful to be able to indeed, get over it. I am also thankful for the spiritual maturity that God has begun in me. My friend, I'll call her Simply Sandy, once reminded me how easy it is to maintain online blog relationships where everyone hears your side and spurs you on. She then went on to say in the real world where people know both sides of the story, you are held to a higher standard of accountability. Blogging friends are fun, but personal growth is much more likely to happen in real life relationships. It is a double blessing to have friends who are in both worlds. God bless my wise friends.

In conclusion...I have built a bridge and I am over it. Until the next Festivus...

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