I have a confession to make. I like for people to like me. It really troubles me when they don't. I live in AWE of those people everyone likes. HOW? Were they just born with it or is it a skill they had to perfect? I make friends really easily and usually keep my closest friends, well, forever. I have some that date all the way back to first grade that I TREASURE! Despite mostly being liked, there have always been a few people that just really actively did not like me. Usually it is a person or two here or there and not a serenity stealer. Everyone is NOT going to like me, they don't HAVE to like me.
However, lately, in one area of my life, I just can't seem to 'fit in'. I am experiencing people STRONGLY disliking me.
MOST of the time, it just feels like my personality is not appreciated. I used to tell myself it was all my perception. However, NOW, for the first time-I am questioning that. I am not thinking it is my perceptions-it is reality. I am actively avoided and dreaded. I can't explain why, but I feel it and it is real. I DO know that if someone has a problem with me and they don't take the steps to resolve it, they are the ones in the wrong.
So what to do? I have no clue. I almost feel like I need to apologize in advance for every word that comes out of my mouth. I feel like I am constantly being judged as a trouble maker/problem child-EVEN when there is a legitimate issue. I have reached a point where if I am going to be labeled and avoided by those who are 'helping' me grow...I'm probably not going to experience any growth.