Tuesday, April 17, 2007


It seems as though my IF ONLYS are harder to get over than I had thought. I rationalized that now that I know what holds me back, I will be able to get over them and move on.

Not so fast there, partner! I do believe we all have some "if onlys" and many of them are paralyzing. One of the ones I did not list is very crippling in my life. This "if only" does not belong to me exactly, but is a part of the lives of many people that I love. The "if onlys" that do not belong to us are the worst. There isn't a darn thing I can do to change anything. I have been praying for a long time. I believes God has heard my prayers, but I do not see an answer as of yet.

Sorry to be so vague, but the parts of me that are shaped by others is not really available to tell. It isn't my story, I am just forced to be a character in it. Some of you may be playing the same supportive roles and I know you know where I am coming from. ( ;

So anyway, the past couple of days have found me very frustrated and almost angry with God. He has a plan for my life. I am just not sure how to get past some of my "if onlys" to get on with it. Please pray for me that I will find a way to live my life in such a way that the actions of others don't get me down, rob my joy, or turn me from my Father's work. More importantly, that I can still show abundant Christlike love to someone that makes me mad enough to spit, stomp & kick!


jettybetty said...

I think I have some of those kinds of people in my life, too--it doesn't seem like it should be that hard to have relationships and still be who God wants me to be--but some days IT IS!!!

hulagirlatheart said...

The "if onlys" of others is my biggest struggle right now. I am learning how difficult it is to help someone live when he/she doesn't want to live anymore. I keep thinking about that quote (not sure the source) that "you shouldn't take away someone's hope because that may be all that he has". I am trying to give hope AND stay hopeful...a huge part of faith I suppose.