Oh Deer

My dear hit a deer and now my wonderful paid for van is a "no-go". This is terrible timing since all that is going on is going on. Sometimes life hands you a lemon, other times life hands you a whole bowl of them. We are managing. We really enjoy lemonade. Erik is safe and that is what really matters. It could have been so much worse. Everything could be worse-I just keep repeating that to myself a hundred times a day. This too shall pass. That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger...come on, leave me a good endurance cliche' in the comments-it will encourage me or make me laugh and both are all good right now!! Anyway, my prayer life has improved considerably. I think I shall go have a nap before my shift at the hospital.

Enjoy your Sunday!!

I Hate Laundry...

...but I love clean clothes?
Valentine's party was really fun for the kiddos. I was able to help a bit with clean-up but not to the extent I usually do. I generally enjoy the cleaning up part mostly because it is a smaller group of workers and that makes it fun. However, I still had a trip to see my stepfather in the hospital and then home for a bit before going to see mom. His room was empty when we arrived which was quite startling. He was moved to long-term care. He still has to regain use of his left side before he will be able to return home. Our dream is that he and Mom get better at the same time. When they both get home it will be a whole lot harder!

It is almost 4 and I had hoped to do some laundry. Laundry or nap...just kidding-I know it is laundry. My husband is wonderful and he will pitch in to help anywhere I need it-I just hate for him to have to do it all. He works really hard all day and he has been taking care of lots of extra stuff as well.

Thanks to my two non-hugging friends who hugged me today. You know who you are! I was glad not to have to fake too much with people who know me and what all is going on. It is so good to have friends who allow me to just be there and let me be somewhat unchatty. Tis a rare thing for me but it does happen sometimes. Thank you fellow bloggers who are keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.

Happy Valentine's Day!

It feels like it is 2 AM. I am sooo exhausted. We've had another big day minus the housework so I am behind on alot. Something had to give. Tomorrow is our Valentine's party for the homeschool group-totally ridiculous to celebrate something that is over, but I am so glad to have it and that I did not have to plan it that I am content to celebrate that which is over. We made our boxes this morning and got all of our valentine's signed. My children are very excited. They really look forward to the social things our group does together. They(the social gatherings-not my kids-heehee) are a bit large for my taste but I paint on a smile and put on my worker hat because it isn't about me.

I miss my church family like crazy. I have missed two services and two Bible study meetings. I am trying desperately to keep up with my Bible study, but it loses alot without the video accompaniement. I could have gone today-but I needed to have at least a few hours of downtime plus we had Valentine things that had to be done. My kids were not happy to miss it either.

Teen attitude is really dominating our household via our middle child. It is very annoying. The self-centeredness is identical to the toddler years. AND, I know my child has a pretty low dose of it because we are quick with the attitude checks. By the time Erika joins her in hormone land, I hope Kayla has leveled off. Otherwise, Toby's crate may be pulling double duty.

Things are really tough with Mom. We are now moving into day 3 and they are pulling back the pain meds and pushing the "doing stuff". It is a very tough transition. This whole ordeal is a marathon not a sprint. Mom is really doped up and gets angered easily. She has been in almost constant pain for two years and is now dealing with the absolute worst pain of her life. There have been some ugly moments. There will be more.

Thank you God for being the lifter of my head. Please help me be an source of love and comfort to all of those around me. Please help love to be my guide. Please keep my sibling "differences" out of the way of loving and supporting them. Put more "fun" in our dysfunction and eliminate the "dys". Thank you Father for giving me friends who will bathe me in prayer at a time when I desperately need it. Thank you God for a husband who loves me(helps me, holds me) and supports me helping my family. Thank you God for kids that "get" it and pray for the people in their lives who are hurting and healing. Thank you God for health care workers that are tired and overworked but keep on giving more anyway. Bless their lives, hearts and families. Pull our family together in such a way that we unite and bless our dear mother. Praise the name of Jesus, amen.

SLOWLY getting better...

Today was better than yesterday and I anticipate tomorrow will go better as well. The nights are hard and so I am saying extra prayers for rest for my mom and my sis who is spending the night with her for a few days.

The best observation I can make about health care workers is that they are wonderful. It just has to be a job you love or you could never make it. You really do see the worst in people. We all want our loved ones to be the only patient. I have tried to remember we are not the only ones and to be helpful and understanding whenever possible. It is also helpful to have a room that smells good. It makes the workers happy to come in and smell something good for a change.

Also, this not such a lovely observation-most health care workers I have encountered have really bad breath. It is because they never have time to eat properly. This is especially true of Doctors and other higher ups. Apparently the more money you make, the less likely you are to get to eat. If I ever go to med school, once I become a doc-I'm packing some breath mints.

Profundities?

I am home this morning getting caught up on a bit of laundry and some household stuff. I will be the afternoon shift at the hospital after I go to the other end of the earth to check up on my stepdad.

I wanted to think up something cute, witty, or profound to say on here. Alas, I am an empty vessel.

Surgery



All went well today. Much better than hospital surgeries are supposed to go. Everything happened early. I did not get there before Mom was taken to surgery. The surgery seemed to go much quicker than it was supposed to as well. We were all there to see her when she got back into the room and it was a shocking moment for all of us-her pain was very extreme and it took a bit before they got her comfortable. It was very emotional. So hard to watch someone suffer knowing you can't do anything at all to alleviate it.

It has been an extremely emotional day. I am drained. Completely and totally. Continue to keep our family in your prayers. Thank you.

Amputation surgery is today, about 10 or 11AM. Please pray.

Ketch-up

Because there are too many topics rambling around in my brain. I will touch briefly on each one.

• My mom is back in the hospital. She got to come home Thursday afternoon but had to return late Saturday night. The surgery Thursday was not successful at restoring bloodflow. At least 3 of her toes and part of her foot are believed to be dead or dying. They will assess again tomorrow. Amputation probably will be necessary. That is such an awful word. Seems like in this day and age it should not have to happen. She has a positive attitude about it-she is talking about prosthetic limbs like some people plan supper. I think this is when it truly hit me how much pain she has been in with a foot that just would not heal.
• I am up to season 5 in Gilmore Girls and now that Luke and Loralei are finally together...well it just isn't the same. And Rory-take some shape-enough with the dumb decisions already. Good golly I like the other seasons better.
• We did have a fun day Saturday. We spent some time at the library. We had a nice lunch with a really cute mailman. We went to JCPenney and Toys 'R Us to kill the few dollars we had left from Christmas. Then we grocery shopped at Sam's and the local grocery.(I buy all of our meat there because they package it like I like and have good sales.) The kids didn't love the grocery part-but they do appreciate it when our pantry is stocked.
• I spent the morning with my mom today instead of at church. I read my Bible study to her as I did it. Then we napped together. The hospital is a very boring place.
• My sister came to the hospital in time to allow me to attend care group after church. Today was the day for me to tell my "story". This meant I was to trace my family tree and tell about my life and my spiritual life. I guess I am thankful for having an even remotely positive life because, quite frankly, I have had a very hard life! The saddest part was knowing how many bad things I skipped over for the sake of time and dignity. My family is so steeped with sin and the scars are deep. It encompasses many generations and defies "prettying up". It is amazing how God has used me at all. I am grateful to be delivered from generational sin and also my own rebellious sin. God is good.
• Did you get the license number of the truck that hit me? Not actually, figuratively. I feel like I have been hit with one. I have a double helping of the cold going around. Yippee! Time to snuggle up with my two best friends, Vicks and Nyquil. Thank goodness tomorrow is Monday!!