Wednesday, February 01, 2012

The Card Lady Muses

Today, I worked at one of 'my accounts'.  This means one of the stores that I stock with cards for American Greetings.  Today was a LONG day.  Seven hours of working.  So I have had a full day of people watching, well actually people listening.  It has been hilarious and interesting.  I wish I could remember all the things that made me laugh out loud today.  Here are a few nuggets of dollar store hearsay:

"I've been giving Jeremy the same valentine for years.  He doesn't even notice.  I just keep forgetting to buy a new one and I have that one on hand."  Then she and her friend laughed hysterically.  Poor Jeremy.
"Girl, that's aerosol.  That stinks, why you spray that?"  Yes, girl, I am not amused.  While you and your friend ran off to a different part of the store, I am left to smell that aerosol for an ozonally fatal amount of time.
A man reeking of aftershave, alcohol and cigarettes was looking for a birthday card for his granddaughter.  He was nice and polite...but OH MY WORD, what a stinker.
"Do you work here?"  Said approximately 127 times to me.
 "No, I work for American Greetings, can I help you find a card?"  Said approximately 127 times by me.
 "No, I needed help finding the ____. Do you know where the _____s are?"
"No, I sure don't...but I could help you find a card if you need one."
"Look at that, can you even believe it?  St. Patrick's Day and Easter.  That "#*& is ridiculous. Who even buys "#*& like that now?  We ain't even done with %$!<*^' Valentine's Day yet."   Sorry, lady(I use the term loosely.), welcome to the world of retail where seasonal space MUST be filled at all times. The next holiday starts taking over as soon as the current one gives up an inch of space.

My job is always entertaining.  People, overall though, are much more polite than I thought they would be.  However, they cannot put a card back in its proper location to save their lives.  Hopefully it never comes to that.


Hula Girl at Heart said...

Here's one for you. Right before Teen Angel's birthday in December, she cleaned out some drawers and discovered that I had bought the same birthday card for her two years in a row. We laughed about it, and then two days later I bought her a card for her birthday. She opened it up, ran to get the others and bam, I had bought the SAME card again and didn't even realize it.

This post was hilarious.

Deb Ward said...

Why do people act surprised that the next season's stuff is already out? This is not the first year for this has happened.