I have a serious problem. I have taken a huge overdose of grace. Somewhere along this way of life I have decided that since I have grace and can never be perfect, I can do whatever I want. Okay, maybe I have not taken it quite that far, but I have taken it pretty far indeed!! I am not set apart for God and scarcely resemble any sort of holiness. Somehow in all this talk about grace and forgiveness, I forgot God actually does require a new way of life for me.
I am struggling with an overdose of grace and lack of boundaries. My preacher asked a question today(paraphrased)-If you imagine a line with Secular/Worldly on one end and Godly/Holy on the other end-where do I fall. I don't know what the rest of the sermon was really about because the conviction stabbed me in the belly with a knife. I KNOW how I feel inside. I know the gift of Christ I have received. Does my life show it? If there were a hidden camera, would the crew at dateline declare me a Christian? Is the fruit of my spirit evident? Do I have fruit or just jams? I have to say with total honesty that I probably fall somewhere right smack in the middle of that line-just slightly over into the secular side. I don't think this is what God has in mind when he asked me to be the "light of the world, salt of the earth".
Don't get started on "There is nothing I can do to earn my salvation"-I know that. I also know I am the only Jesus some people will ever see-do I take that captive in my soul every day? Does Christlikeness exude from my actions?
Oh friends, I am going to be praying some new prayers and studying this week. Please pray for me. I want to be holy, I am the daughter of a king and I want it to show.