Sunday, January 01, 2012

Happy New Year!

If Facebook did not exist, I would not only keep up with my blog more...I would also read blogs more.  The allure of facebook is not its depth, it is a very shallow form of communicating.  It is the fact that I can keep up with family in Ohio, Florida, California, Chicago and many other places with one comment.  Not to mention all the local folks.  So, that makes me love it.  I know when someone is born, when someone dies, when someone is going through a rough patch and many other things that I may or may not want to know.

Blogging though, is my first love.  The depth, the connections, the ability to say what I need to say, when I need to say it is a blessing.  The fact that my daughters may read it someday and know the 'real' me is a legacy I could not give them any other way.  I tried keeping journals and it just isn't something I can be consistent at, but blogging has been a constant in my life for almost 7 years.  Wow.

As last year ended, I have to say I am happy to wave it on.  I am excited to start a brand spanking new year that, so far, is regret free.  I hope we don't lose anyone this year.  Is a death-free year even a possibility?  We are still reeling from the loss of Erik's dad.  His absence was so painful all through the holidays.  He was alot like me in that he loved holidays and every pie I saw reminded me of his love of making pies.  Hubby doesn't talk about it much, but I know he lost his best friend when he lost his dad. 

So this year, we are trying desperately to make the most of the time we have left with our children, I don't doubt the high school years will fly by and I happen to know the elementary and middles school ones do to.  As my sister told me today, it does all change when they can drive.  Not in a bad way...but the growing up and slipping away begins and so quickly progresses.  We have some big plans for summer and we have to keep a pretty tight budget to make sure they can happen.  I love summer but hate tight budgets, so my feelings are mixed.

Above all though, I am most excited about my attitude transplant.  I finally quit expecting other people to make me happy and decided just to choose it. (Bless you Jane White for teaching me that...sorry to have been such a slow learner!) Most of the time, in spite of my circumstances, I am able to feel it, live it and love it.  Unfortunately, I passed the expectation part onto my offspring and now will spend many years trying to unteach what I accidentally taught.

I am happier than I have even been and for the most part, nothing changed but me.  Funny how that works.  I am truly blessed beyond words to serve a God that gives me grace and teaches me wisdom...when I am willing to receive them.

 2012, I am ready.  Bring on the good, the bad and the ugly...but if I can order, I'd prefer just the good.  Happy New Year, blogosphere!


Ami said...

I hope that 2012 is a good year for you. I think for me that I'm going to break it down into days. And try to make each one a good one. One at a time.

Trite but true.


Happy New Year!!

ShortyMom said...

I need to learn how to do that happy thing and how to pass it on to my children. I feel I always have to be the bad guy and that just makes the day that much harder. I hope 2012 is good to you! We so need a lunch date!