Sunday, April 17, 2011

Broken/perfect

We have an unusual Sunday School class.  It is a blend of middle schoolers, high schoolers and the parents of those aged kids.  It makes for a very intimidating class, but we follow our fearless leader.  The goal is to be more intentional about our faith as a family.  It is named D6 after Deuteronomy 6 which commands us as parents to teach our children about God as we go along in our day to day activites.  This class is a stretch for me in every way.  It puts our family 'out there' in a way that I am not accustomed to.  I can confess my faults all day long...but I feel very vulnerable as a family.   It forces us to hold our habits up and inspect them and see where we are doing okay and where we need to improve.  It allows us to glean some hints and tips from other families.  It often puts us on the spot, if not in class, then at least face to face with our teens outside of class.  It makes me feel broken and blessed all at the same time.  It is a model for accountability, which is scary.  It is an ocassion to un-mask, YIKES!  I know it is a really good thing and I love it...but it also makes me cringe, freak out a bit, and want to hide my head under the covers.  I can't even imagine what it's like for the people who are quiet and private.

Being REAL??  Not just around family...the reason you can be that person with your family is that you all love each other in an unconditional way AND, it is unavoidable. The good, bad and the ugly all come out.   I so want that in our church family...I want that in everyone's church family.  I want that as we minister to people who aren't even in a church.  But am I ready for it?  Can I handle the faults that I don't know about?  The ones that are different from my own?  Can I be non-judgemental and loving?  Sometimes REAL without grace and mercy from the other side doesn't end well.  I really do look forward to where this class (this is the second class like this) will take us and what it will teach us about our family.    I truly believe that we can only be made perfect when we have reached the broken place where we surrender to God.  I also truly believe that in order for God to be glorified in that healing process, we have to share our broken places with one another.  It's just...well...I feel alot more broken than most people, especially church going folk...I feel like I have alot of risk in admitting the exact nature of my breaks...so maybe...someone else...could go first??  Maybe if someone else can put it all out there, well then maybe I'd be in good company.  I feel like I have already shared so many of my broken spots already...and most of that confessin' did not make life any easier.  ( :  In fact, for a while, it was a nice little stash of ammo for a fun few.  God worked it all out for good though and he will again.

1 comment:

Sheryl said...

Love reading your blog, Janice. I can relate to this one in many ways. Sheryl