I'm Drained

It was planned to be a way different sort of week-end than it ended up being. 

I got dumped.  I had some wonderful fun plans in place and found myself dumped.  I did not even know how to react other than to be overly emotional and hurt.  Those are my standard reactions...I then usually follow-up with a nice heaping helping of anger and retaliation.  However, I have a certain friend in my life that is helping me 'kick it up a notch'.  She is helping me be a better me.  Upon being dumped, I asked God to help me do the right thing and waited.  Overwhelmingly, I felt that I needed to call my friend.  I am so glad that I did.  Actually, I should point out here that I tried to call and did not get her.  Other friends names went through my brain and I decided to just wait on the name that God put into my head.

She called me back and she immediately boiled it down to spiritual warfare.  She prayed over me and reframed the rejection in a way that obviously showed how Satan is using someone in my life to discourage me in the place God has placed me.  It was amazing how immediately the healing balm was felt.  It still hurt.  Rejection is the most painful hurt of all.  In fact, it still hurts and probably will for a while, but it is no longer a grudge I am holding, just a wound that will heal with time.  God can use wounds and scars to remind us and teach us, grudges serve no good purpose.

Inside that rejection, however, I must always remember that I am who God says I am.  He says I am the daughter of a king.  He says I am the perfect wife for my husband, exactly the mom He means for my kids to have and an asset in my church and community.  If God is for me then who can be against me?  The answer is so obvious but we tend to replace that evil schemer with the people he uses to carry out his plans.  People who may not realize whose influence they are under.  People who are doing what 'feels good' not necessarily what is good.  People who are often weak and broken themselves and unaware of how their actions may destroy and hurt.  (Oh God, forgive me all the times I have been and will be those people!)

The most important message to me through all of this is to watch my reactions to people.  We are all capable of being used in situations that do not bring honor to God or to our fellow man.  To tear down a fellow human without knowing it-to help Satan dismantle God's call on their life.  In fact, we are Satan's MOST effective tools and usually we are not even aware of it.  He banks on our lack of awareness.  I want to be an encourager-to be someone who helps to build up my fellow man-believer or not.

Thank you God for giving me relationships that affirm me in your design and call on my life.  Thank you God for giving me the option to forgive a hurt, pray for a hurter and not retaliate in anger.  Thank you God for using me to minister to others despite being so unbelievably broken and flawed.  Thank you God for friends that love me with the love of the Lord and prove it on a regular basis.

The weekend was emotional and draining.  God never said life would be easy.  God never said being a Christian was all fun and games.  Yet I can't help but notice that I keep expecting it to be that way.  39 years and I am still in remediation!!