As I have grown and changed in maturity and also tolerance, I choose my friends differently. AND, the term friend means alot more than it did once. I still try really hard to love everyone no matter what and allow them to treat me the best they can. I, in turn, try to be as kind to them as my personality will allow. I am not as nice as I once was
Lately, I have this urge to maintain some lost friendships, mend broken ones and just generally nurture all my relationships in a way I never have. I think this comes out of the fact that I have some powerful, God-ordained friendships that encourage me to be the best me I can. They love me for exactly who I am and believe God means for me to be that way. Sure, I can polish off the rough edges, but I don't need to recreate myself to be useful. I feel comfortable being me for the first time in my life. I'm proud of who I am-broken parts and all. The pride comes in the fact that I am created for a purpose...not sure exactly what that purpose is yet, but I am pretty sure I already have all the gifts I am supposed to have for it. I am also pretty sure it centers on the relationships God has given to me.
Oh how I want to pass on my lessons learned to my children. I want them to know they are made to be exactly who they are and God has a purpose for their personalities. I want them to embrace who they are and feel good about themselves. I don't want them to have to be 39 years old before they look in the mirror and love who they see. I want them to choose great friends-iron sharpening iron kinds of friends. Is it possible to save them years and years of turmoil? How different would my life look if I had gotten this message at 9, 13 or 14 instead of 39? Would I have changed the world? Is middle age a requirement for being comfortable in your own skin?