Monday, December 06, 2010


It is so stinking cold that I don't even want to leave the house.  The cold breath of winter reaches right through to my bone marrow.  This morning, the snow flurrying around was kind of pretty.  Then the sun came out all nice and pretty and warmed things up...NOT AT ALL.  Deceptive sun!  Making it look warm and cozy but in reality, the temperature continues to fall.

I am in a really hard place right now, completely unrelated to the weather.  All around me, people are rescuing orphans, loving one another, and being lovely blessings to everyone they cross paths with.  Meanwhile, my heart feels tiny and as cold as the weather.  I am struggling to love my own family.  I am praying that God will fill me to overflowing with His love that I may have that overflow to love others too.  I believe that He can and will do this...and for the sake of all around me, I hope it is very soon.

In the meantime, I am faking it very well.  I have done some very lovely things lately despite my tiny sliver of ice heart.  I am clinging to 'fake it till you make it' with all that I have!


Jason, as himself said...

We all go through phases like this. And you know very well that all of these people doing wonderful, loving things, are struggling with their own issues.

You'll get through it. Keep faking it til you're making it.

"The worst part of your whole post?
The cold breath of winter reaches right through to my bone marrow."

Just makes me want to cry.

Heather said...

Praying for you! With your reliance on God, you will make it through this. Call me if you need anything at all!