More Angst

Don't you just love it when I am in a good mood?? Lately, I am very frustrated-as if yesterday's post didn't clue you in. I feel like such a failure in the social world. On one hand I make friends very easily, on the other hand, I often do things to drive those new friends away without even knowing it. Thankfully, through it all, my BEST friend is my husband. He has tolerated the mood swings, tongue lashings, and overall goofiness. He also still loves me, usually agrees with me (even though I open cans of worms he would NEVER open!), and gets me-even the worst parts of me. He sympathizes with me when it is obvious I AM being mistreated and also when it is obvious I AM MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS. In return for this I try really hard to be nice to him. To lovingly do things for him and understand him to the very best of my ability. I think that may be the secret to the success of any long term relationship-loving one another even when they make your blood boil. Loving one another despite HUGE differences in personality and being thankful to God above that those differences allow you to help one another grow if you let it. Last night I read him this upcoming verse and we both nodded at how easy church SHOULD be. Why isn't it? Because of all the people. We are so flawed. We want to be right, but I think even deeper than that-we want to be liked. The people who feel liked tend to fare a little little better than those of us who don't feel liked or appreciated.

Anyway, I am very blessed this quarter at church to be studying Acts with one of our churches most gifted teachers (in my opinion). I say that because he is blunt, opinionated, VERY knowledgeable, but also open minded. Eager to get a different insight than his own. That is rare. Most people just cling to their own insight and don't enjoy hearing other people's take on things because they have already figured it all out. The seek to "bring people around to their way of thinking" not consider a new way of looking at something. ( I definitely fall into that bringing people around opinion even though I don't want to!!)

So tonight, even though I am totally in a state of spiritual depression about too many things to mention, I will go and study the first two chapters of Acts. I have been reading them and can't wait to get another perspective that will be so far from my own, I will have to delve deeper. My favorite verse:

Acts 2: 46-7
46Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.


This verse just crystallizes what church should be for me. What was required of the people? GLAD AND SINCERE HEARTS, GRANTING FAVOR TO EVERYONE AROUND THEM. God did the rest. All they had to do was love the Lord with all of their hearts and love one another with gladness and sincerity. A VERY TALL ORDER, but the rewards were that their number was added to daily.