A Fitting Description
Addiction Level 3 (the highest level) I will paraphrase but this is copied loosely from pages 68-69 from The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet ISBN # 0-451-17339-2.
"While cravings for starches and snack foods continue at level 3, the drive for sweets can become very strong. At this level, snack foods and desserts are preferred. Most meat or protein is consumed with bread as a sandwich. Meals seem incomplete without sweets. Sweets provide an initial surge of relief, they don't really satisfy the addict. These people eat when not hungry, when they don't have an urge to eat, and when they don't even want to eat. Food doesn't seem to taste especially good. The experience of eating becomes more of a compulsion or duty. The addict at level 3 is eating because of a driving need to eat- a physical, inner demand to eat-rather than out of enjoyment. Periods of eating are non-distinct from periods of non-eating. Rather than separate meals, continuous snacking-large and small snacks-takes place."
Just reading that paragraph makes me shiver because it was me and I did not even realize it. I knew I ate alot. I knew I was fat. I did not realize the extent of my problem or how easy it would be to remedy. The book is really quick to point out that not all fat people are carb addicts and not all thin people are not. I don't want you to assume all fat people are addicts-there is usually a reason why people are overweight, but sometimes it is the types of food they regularly eat(McD's, Pizza) not the quantity. I believe this is a legitimate thing for some people who will read the above and relate OR they will gasp aloud and not relate.
I just had to post that description so you can fully appreciate the fact that: I no longer am consumed by the urge to eat. I sorted out candy today for edible cells for my science class and ATE NONE. Take it farther, I had no urge to eat candy that I was surpressing. I have a whole bag of candy that I have no desire to binge on. THIS HAS NEVER EVER EVER happened to me before. I can recall going places where they would be serving glazed donuts-one of my least favorite foods-and polishing off 2 or 3. And then with all the shame and willpower I could muster-refusing to eat anymore no matter how much I wanted another. I can recall instances of watching a skinny person eat something and hating them for being able to leave food on their plate. Especially if it were chocolate cake. Who doesn't finish chocolate cake?? Shaking my head in disbelief that someone would not eat a candy bar?? Why would anyone not eat chocolate?
This is why I just keep walking around amazed. My choice has been returned to me and I am so empowered it is unreal. I do enjoy my reward meal-to the fullest. The habit of eating is still there. The constant urges are not. What remains is the psychological part which will take a while to go away-like tonight, I ate my daughters' pizza crusts greedily fearing that I might blow it later because 2 pieces of pizza and some cookies couldn't possibly hold me over. In the back of my mind I was thinking I would be dying of hunger right now and certain to binge. I am not and I feel exactly the same as the first night when I ate an unpublishable amount of food during my reward meal.
The basic plan is eat breakfast-less than 4 carbs-I eat a ham and cheese omelette and two cups of salad or approved veggies (celery for me). Lunch, less than 4 carbs-2 cups of salad or approved veggies. Reward meal-eat anything you want for one hour. Any food, any drink, any quantity. You must stop after one hour. I can't usually last more than 15-20 minutes or even finish most things I have started after day 1(I put away alot of food that first day at my reward meal!!). The meals are interchangeable, so if I wanted to I could have reward breakfast and then do good at the other two meals-but my pattern is to binge at night so I am a little scared to vary it at all!!
I can't explain why it works. I just can testify that it does. OH YEAH, this is also PMS week so normally that top paragraph is intesified by 10 during PMS week!!
I will try not to blog about it anymore. Until I have lost a boatload of weight. And IF by some bizarre freakiness, I don't lose weight? I won't care, because I am free.