Sunday, March 23, 2008

Oy With the Poodles Already!

That title has absolutely nothing to do with this post. However, I love that phrase and there are just not any occasions to use it.

I feel really bad today. I have been repenting and talking to God off and on all day about my attitude. It really stunk today. All day. I punched my church timecard today. This means I went to church because I was supposed to. I hardly ever do that and almost never on a Sunday-it is usually a Wednesday thing (unless Sara teaches-or any good debate type class!). Most assuredly-this should never happen on EASTER!! My goodness, I practically LIVE to go to church. I look forward to it. I think of all my church friends and plan strategies for how I can talk to them and still get to know some of the new people AND please my hubby by not talking too long. I try to utilize my time at church effectively by NOT talking to people I have conversations with all the time and hone in on the people seen exclusively at church. As I type these truths, I realize I need to REALLY get out more. Plus, Hula told me that too. (Mental note: Get out more. Mental reply: I really don't want to, I get out exactly as much as I want to. Mental note: People are talking-just get out more already! Mental reply: It's OK to talk to yourself as long as you don't answer yourself...uh oh.) So today-I DID NOT want to go. Usually, my attitude changes almost as soon as I walk through the door. Today it did not. In fact, it worsened. It was a wonderfully well-planned service singing a whole bunch of my favorite songs and our whole family sat together and took communion together...and STILL, a constant song of "I don't want to be here" playing in my head. I think I need to recharge a bit during this co-op break. I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...

Perhaps this week, I need to actively plan my return to Bible study!! It is much much needed.

2 comments:

hulagirlatheart said...

This is going to sound bad, but it's the truth. I was kind of glad I unexpectedly ended up helping in the nursery at church yesterday. The sanctuary was so overcrowded with the folks who only show up on Easter and Christmas that it was almost as if the "crowded-dressed up in new clothes so someone can see me" business got in the way of enjoying the Easter service experience. I got a real blessing talking and playing with the kids instead. I didn't expect that.

~ Stephanie. said...

Sara does teach a good class, doesn't she? She should do it more!