We take the cakes!!

Keepers was today and it was soooo difficult. This club is not at all what I wanted it to be. It is just so hard. I want it to work so much and it just doesn't. If I look at each family individually-I love them. I have been friends with most of these ladies for a while-some casually, others much more involved. Only one is a totally new aquaintence. However, mix them all together AND you have the opposite of tongue and groove. It is not an ideal combination. The kids even feel it. In a word it is...AWKWARD. 3 more meetings and a final awards program. I will be shocked if any one signs on for next year.

My biggest problem is that I feel like a total homeschool mom failure. This is all in my head-I do realize that. It just seems as though every other child there is more reserved, respectful, well-mannered, pays more attention to detail, etc etc need I go on. It just seems as though every one else is more confident, scheduled...successful. Then I think about why I homeschool, then I feel happy again to be homeschooling. Until next month, when the meeting topic will be...drum roll please...ETIQUETTE. Talk about a disaster waiting to happen. Lilly has really developed a love for the word FART. I hate it and have mentioned several times that it is to be substituted with another less offending word. That works until she hears someone else say it-at church or a family function-then it takes hold again. I am borrowing trouble worrying about something over a month away-but I just can't help but wonder what fun contributions she will make to the meeting. Here is what I imagine:

"Today we will study about manners and how they are important." Lilly raises her hand.
"Yes, Lilly?"
"My mom says it is rude to fart or even say fart." Then giggle hysterically. No one will giggle or laugh (Except my other children, of course) All the other children will look up and immediately adopt the same look of horror their mother's have. Then there will be the obligatory, "Thank goodness that is not my child!" chuckle. They will comfort me with platitudes about how gregarious she is.

AND then I will spend the rest of the meeting trying to sweep my dignity up off of the floor. At least what I have left after the previous meetings and fiascos. This club is killing my self-esteem with a giant wrecking ball. I'm so glad I decided to start it.