Friday, November 23, 2007

Slap, Christian Style

***edited to add, this was not someone from my church, it was a family member talking about a family I do not know***

I heard a judgement call that broke my heart. From a Christian. Every now and then I hear such hateful utterances, it breaks my heart for God. He must be so disappointed with us. Sometimes they come from my own mouth. Of course, those don't stand out near as much as the words of another-I can't hear exactly how I sound. I just know that I say and do hateful things that cast my saviour in such a negative light to those that don't know him. We all do. I hate that some people judge my Heavenly Father by what I say and do. I am so flawed, selfish, and often-unloving. That is not at all the perfect Son of God.

So back to the comment. This comment was said about a young girl and her boyfriend who had gotten into "trouble". They had a baby together. There were many judgements made against this couple- I just so happen to agree with alot of them. I don't believe young dating couples should spend large hunks of time alone together because it is like waving a lighter at sticks of dynamite. However, most people think this is acceptable and normal. Sooner or later, the inevitible will happen. Then, many times, a child will result. In this case, the tragedy is that all involved are children. The momma, the daddy, and of course, the baby are all children. Children will make mistakes. They will have errors in judgement that sometimes change their young lives forever.

This is where Christians are so quick to condemn. Baby showers should be withheld, lest this sort of behavior be encouraged. This breaks my heart. These children are in such a state of broken spirits and lives that they are vulnerable. A lifetime of kindness won't take away the hurt that the "judgements" of Christians will inflict. They do this in the name of God?? Blaspheme. Jesus accepted people where they were and helped them put the pieces back together again.

It took all I had to not go off on this person in a tirade. Two wrongs don't make a right. Instead I plead that the baby is innocent and it never hurts anything to shower a new baby with love and presents. This statement was agreed with, but the whole "shower nonsense" was again ridiculed. I am praying for this person. Casting such harsh judgement will not end well. Sooner or later, this will be visited to the doors of those who judge in a much more personal way. Funny how sin becomes less black and white when it is your child or grandchild.

As hard as it is sometimes, we are not called to judge the lives of non-believers. We are called to love others more than ourselves. We are called to live a life worthy of the crown. We are called to repent of our sins and surrender our will every day to the will of God. We are called to be iron sharpening iron-very gently and lovingly rebuking the sins of fellow believers IN LOVE. As far as non-believers and the lost? NO JUDGEMENT. Just love- that they might be willing to hear the good news of Christ. To make the decision to not celebrate the birth of a child- a child not aborted- because we don't agree with the circumstances? WWJD?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 4:5Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

James 4:11Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.


Ami said...

So plan the baby shower and send out invitations. I am sure you'll have people who will show up, although it's sometimes hard to do the right thing.
You obviously have a kind heart. :)

My sister in law became pregnant when she was in the Navy. The, hmm, not father, let's use donor, found out and fled.

Her family condemned her. She never received so much as a card from them when Joshua was born.

My brother met her when her little boy was 13 months old. They've been together ever since.

When the two of them made another little boy after they got married, the change in her family was nauseating. They showered her and the baby with gifts. Which she sent back.

One reason I do not attend church is the judgmental people that always attend. I don't need that.
No one does. The Bible I am familiar with suggests that people aren't really qualified to judge.

Ami said...

Oh. One more thing.
Mary was not married when she became pregnant.

If God didn't have a problem with that, who are we to decide differently?

Ami said...

Oh yeah.. this, too. (can you tell this subject is near and dear to my heart?)

At what point does this couple and their baby go from unacceptable to able to sit in polite company? When the baby is 2? 3? 10?

If you're a Christian, you believe that God has a hand in the creation of every child born. If that creation is acceptable to Him, who are you (generic you) to say otherwise?

I am always saddened by sanctimonious people. What a shameful way to treat these poor kids.

janjanmom said...

Okay Ami-I am with you on all but these two:

*Christians are commanded to fellowship together in a church. We just have to find one where we are encouraged to carry on his will and plan for our lives, not feel judged or compelled to judge.

*Mary was unmarried when she became pregnant-but not because she had fornicated-although I am sure there were plenty who did not believe that. God made sure Joseph knew and they were soon married which IS God's plan for families.(Not everyone follows his plan-but he will always meet us WHERE we are, no matter how bad we have messed it up.)

Sin is sin and should not be condoned among believers-but the methods to "gently restore" are sometimes not very "Christian".

Mama Mia said...
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kitten said...

Nice post. I found your blog through Ami's blog. She's a daer friend and something you said made me curious so I came over.
I do agree that so many Christians or I should say so called Christians are so quick to judge. Sometimes I think they forget where God brought them from and it's our place to pray for them even thou they do give the ones that really try to show God's Love to others a bad name. Plus, you read all through Jesus's walk he was with the sinners.
Take care!
Liked your blog.

Julie Anne said...

I think as far as showers go, whatever the mother involved is comfortable with should be done. We "reward" ourselves every day by buying nice things for ourselves and stuffing doughnuts into our mouths... and our sins are no less atrocious. We've just managed to keep them hidden. Let's tell our daughters and young ladies that about sin, no?
(just my wee li'l two cents as well, not claiming any wisdom here. However, two of my closest girlfriends' families began out of such a situation.)

Anonymous said...

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate."
Luke 15:22-24

Anna said...

Beautiful blog!

~ Stephanie. said...

If it's wrong to do good to someone whom others think "doesn't deserve it", let me err on the side of mercy. God help us for our sad little self-righteous bubble-lives.

Janice, thanks for such a loving heart.

Mama Mia said...
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