Thursday, October 04, 2007

A Vortex

There is a huge vortex, think bathtub drain, that is my life. I am surrounded by blessings-great husband, great kids, lots of wonderful "real" friends, great pets, the ability to stay home and home educate my children, the love of cooking, a nice sized house and perfect yard and a relationship with Jesus. However, instead of my tub getting filled with blessings, the blessings get sucked into the vortex and keep "going down the drain". I can't shake the fact that time is slipping by and I am missing all the important stuff because I am focused on the unimportant stuff.

I had a breakdown at my Bible study today. It was on submission, kindness, being loving, being affirming and being agreeable. I felt all wrong, judged and guilty. It wasn't the usual "good" conviction either. It is more the I am screwing up in all the bigs ways and I am not sure how to get back on track. I know these are only "feelings" and are not to be trusted. I just feel like such a colossal failure lately. Share your best "feel better" tip and pray for me!


Jacinda said...

Feel better tip: You're probably not as bad as you think you are and 95% of us probably struggle with the same things you do.

((hugs)) & prayers!

Jen, Fred, Jennifer or Mom said...

yeah, raising good children is definitly not, I think you need to step back and really look at who you are. You are doing one of the most important things we can are raising 3 beautiful children in a loving Christian home.

Stop being so hard on yourself. God doesn't expect perfection, remember that is why Jesus died on the cross for us......none of us would ever measure up without that gift.

hugs dear......hope you get out of your slump soon.....we've all been in one....

Deborah and Sally said...

I used to be like that also. What I did was make two lists one of the important/must do's on the other list put the unimportant/can be done later stuff.

Then get your calendar or day planner out (I use one other then my main one.) Now just fill in the days with the important/must do's (including time for yourself.)

After that's done just fill in the unimportant/can do later stuff where ever you want to fill them in at.

After I did this then nothing got put off (much longer then it should've been.:) I've found that it gave me such a peace of mind because I didn't get overwhelmed, everything got done when it needed to be, and then I was able to focus on the important things !

Don't worry we ALL screw up in big ways and we ALL feel like failures sometimes !!:)