My Angst, Part Two
I have felt your prayers and appreciated your comments and private emails. My angst lives on. It is thriving, in fact. Everyday I wake up and think, OH NO! Not morning already. I'm not ready. I don't wanna. The mini-vacation was fun and Hubby let me have my way and play like a little kid. I kind of feel like a toddler in the "I want THIS, no wait, now I want THAT!" way. So I thought I would elaborate exactly what I have in mind by part-time job. A life story sets the stage.
After I graduated high school, I immediately started summer classes at our community college. I was also working full-time at McDonald's. My family home was located well outside of the city so I decided to find a roomate and move to town. I found a roommate and life was good. Then she reconciled with her hubby and life was not good. I quit McDonald's for a better paying job, Captain D's (WOOHOO!) and also waitressed the graveyard shift at Steak & Egg Kitchen along with my full-time course load at college. Then I gave up both of those jobs for a single waitressing job at Cracker Barrel. I liked working there. It is a nice atmosphere and although I worked my butt off (figuratively only!), I made good money and it was a "feel-good" job.
This is the job I have in mind. Returning 2 nights a week to waitressing at Cracker Barrel. It is one of the few places I could work weeknights at and still make good tips. It is also a restaurant that awards you for being smart, offering raises with every "par" level you complete. I don't want a careeer. I just want a part-time job that I go to, work a little and come home with a sense of job satisfaction and a little cash. This is not unchartered waters for me, I know exactly what I'm in for. I am thinking of working two nights only. This would work out very well for us, I think. Very little disruption of the flow of the family. Erik could declare both movie nights or game nights and it could be alot of fun. Meanwhile, Mom gets her "groove" back and feels like a person again instead of "just MOM". Don't get me wrong- I love being Mom, homeschooling and the huge chunks of time I spend with my husband and children. I thank God every day that this is my blessed life. I am just feeling very "UN-ME" lately and I think I need a dose of accomplishment to regain my focus. I am thinking 6 months to a year for a trial run. This just seems like a good idea.
My darling husband took me to eat there as a surprise. He clocked the miles before he even told me where we were going. This particular CB has a nice looking staff, clean store and heavy business. He does not want me to do this, but I think everyone in my family is kind of tired of depressed and angry Mom.
So, now with all my cards on the table, what do you think now?