I have four new beautiful babies that look just like their momma. I love my cat, she told me about 10:30 that she was ready. Actually she told me, but Erik is the one that knew what she was saying. He told her to get in her basket and she did. But I wasn't in there so she came looking for me. We moved the basket and woke up the kids...only Erika could wake up. Later Kayla got up and would look at nothing but clean kittens "EEEEEW" Erika watched Gray Gray eat placenta and the kittens coming out and everything. EEEEW. I am glad I am not a cat. She is such a good little momma. She was still bathing one even through the awful yelp, caterwawl of having another. I wanted to give her an epidural, but settled for talking, petting her through it.

Yesterday, I wanted to go to wherever Moms go to retire. I had one of the worst days of my life. It was one of those days where I very seriously wondered what kind of horrible scars would my children have from being with me so much. I prayed pretty much all day for God to please make me nice, nurturing and sweet. OR just not mean. My gauge did not move off of mean though. All day, even when Erik came home and brought me fudge...mean mean mean. Lilly got into one thing after another and by supper, I was just done. After we ate she went on another drive mom crazy rampage and I spanked her three times, one for each "crime". (Smacking at the table continuously after she heard me get onto Kayla, dragging her food off the plate and licking it off the table, and I can't remember the other...4 year old ha ha look what I can do to make you pay attention to me). Just before I spanked her I said as calmly as possible, "If you want me to spend time with you, just say mommy will you read me a story and I will. That is so much better than misbehaving and getting a spanking, or three. After her spankings she went to her room put on pajamas (and I am still fuming, by the way). Then she cames to me with two books and said "Mom will you read me a story?" I just had to smile and we went to my room where I read several stories to all 3 girls. They must have been praying too, the mean cloud blew over. I am starting praying today before the mean hits. I am glad the day ended on a positive note. I hope my kids grow up to remember the fun cool days not the mean ones.