Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I have four new beautiful babies that look just like their momma. I love my cat, she told me about 10:30 that she was ready. Actually she told me, but Erik is the one that knew what she was saying. He told her to get in her basket and she did. But I wasn't in there so she came looking for me. We moved the basket and woke up the kids...only Erika could wake up. Later Kayla got up and would look at nothing but clean kittens "EEEEEW" Erika watched Gray Gray eat placenta and the kittens coming out and everything. EEEEW. I am glad I am not a cat. She is such a good little momma. She was still bathing one even through the awful yelp, caterwawl of having another. I wanted to give her an epidural, but settled for talking, petting her through it.

Yesterday, I wanted to go to wherever Moms go to retire. I had one of the worst days of my life. It was one of those days where I very seriously wondered what kind of horrible scars would my children have from being with me so much. I prayed pretty much all day for God to please make me nice, nurturing and sweet. OR just not mean. My gauge did not move off of mean though. All day, even when Erik came home and brought me fudge...mean mean mean. Lilly got into one thing after another and by supper, I was just done. After we ate she went on another drive mom crazy rampage and I spanked her three times, one for each "crime". (Smacking at the table continuously after she heard me get onto Kayla, dragging her food off the plate and licking it off the table, and I can't remember the other...4 year old ha ha look what I can do to make you pay attention to me). Just before I spanked her I said as calmly as possible, "If you want me to spend time with you, just say mommy will you read me a story and I will. That is so much better than misbehaving and getting a spanking, or three. After her spankings she went to her room put on pajamas (and I am still fuming, by the way). Then she cames to me with two books and said "Mom will you read me a story?" I just had to smile and we went to my room where I read several stories to all 3 girls. They must have been praying too, the mean cloud blew over. I am starting praying today before the mean hits. I am glad the day ended on a positive note. I hope my kids grow up to remember the fun cool days not the mean ones.


Sandy said...

So, you can add "Kitty Midwife" to your long list of talents :-). Congratulations, Grandma!

We all have mean days- I bet even Summer does! :-)

heartsjoy said...

Hi, I am new to your blog. I saw your comment on literature lover and decided to check out your site. I have definitely had "feel mean" moments in my parenting as well. It is comforting to know God Is in charge and will grow us as well as caring for our children and their hurts. Thanks for your honesty.

summer said...

HAHAHAHAHA! what is this with everyone making these comments to me this week! yes i have mean days. ihave them waaaaay more often than i like or that people give me credit for. i must really be putting on a good show for you all to think i am the "miss happy goodnatured loving gentle girl" that i have made you all think i am!!!! well, i am not. let's alert the media!! i am sorry janice. i know those days. if its not anna, then it is micah. little one is even starting to join the band wagon at 13 months! please know you are not alone. i am praying you will feel better today!!!! and they will cut yo slome slack!
love you

janjanmom said...

Do midwives advocate epidurals? Maybe just support person. I do like the Grandma-I am looking forward to those days. If my children will allow me near their kids as Miss Mean Momma.

Summer does not have mean days, just let me think it okay. I need a role model. Summer, my hands are over my ears and I will not listen. You remind me so much of another mentor who said she just has to tell her children sometimes when they make her angry "My spirit is closed to you right now and I need to be alone." What my little girls would give to hear that instead of, well what they hear. I can only do so much honesty. When Dr. Phil finally answers their letters you can see it all on tape...LOL.

Welcome heartsjoy... I will venture over to see you soon!