I have forsaken the old blog for far too long and the cobwebs in my brain are building up. I don't care for that feeling. I'm just the kind of girl that has to get things out on a regular basis. Keeps me sane. Facebook has been a poor substitute because if I tell how I really feel, I sometimes cause a lot of grief. Other times, I receive a lot of grief. Either way, not a win.
Today, I have many thoughts running around in the old noggin about being a victim. It is so easy to do. Instant attention. If I casually say, "I'm so fat.", someone will say, "No you're not!" and the attention banter will commence. Fill in the blank with the first response, the dance steps remain the same. "I wish I was pretty.", "I don't have any friends.", "No one ever asks me out.", etc. So many kids do this on a regular basis. Sadly, the attention is fickle. You've got them for the moment, they want to FIX you. They want to tell you what you want to hear so they never have to hear that awkward statement again! About the third or fourth time they hear it, they make a mental note: this kid is not fun to be around...I don't want to spend every conversation assuring her/him that she/he is okay...I just want to talk about how amazing my prom dress is and complain about homework.
Self deprecation is the worst 'cation of all. If your doing it to fish up a compliment, it won't ring true to your brain and it will make you crave compliments even more. AND...Sadly, it is a self fulfilling prophesy. If I tell myself I am a bad wife, my brain won't even allow me to try to be a good one-because I am so obviously bad. If I say my husband is a jerk, all I will notice about him are the jerky things he does. If I make up my mind I HATE someone, everything they do will reinforce it. The same is true if I make up my mind I LOVE someone, everything they do will endear them to me.
People are so funny, we hear things that describe us and we live up to it. That means if I tell myself I am pretty, I will dress like a pretty girl. I will fix my hair and wear make up and not choose to wear sweat pants and a stained t-shirt. (Not that there are not wonderful times to wear aforementioned clothing...like now for me.) If I believe I am a good mom, I will be a better mom than if I just give up. If I believe it, I will see signs all around that affirm my goodness.
This is why encouragement is soooooooo important. Tell your loved ones you love them. Give them an honest compliment. Believe good things about them. 'Photoshop' their behavior...edit it and picture them better than they are. In fact, do this with everyone...but most importantly with yourself. No one is ever drawn to someone who complains they are a loser...so just stop it. Be a winner, think like a winner. Proverbs 23:7 " For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." True words. (Also, totally out of context, but it is still true. Go on-read the whole chapter, it is a warning against people who are not sincere.)
Now another scripture reminds me that life is hard and I need to be an encourager, a helper, and a kind person. I need to speak goodness and love over everyone, but most especially me. If I don't like me, it's pretty hard to like anyone. This one is not out of context and it is my favorite verse in the Bible.
Hebrews 3:13 "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness."