Monday, December 03, 2012


My blog is much neglected of late.  So is my house and my hair is long overdue for a trim.  There are mini gardens in my backyard that remain in need of attention.  This is my life right now.  I have to prioritize and that means some stuff gets left out.  My children are center stage right now and my job as chaffeur is much in demand.  I also lend my chaffeur skills to my mom about once a week.  Add to that the many projects I am a part of at church plus the online history class I am taking and there just isn't alot of extra space left.  Oh and that pesky little part time job.

So, all of that to say, I am in the 'busy' season of life.  And, for the most part, I am content there.  I've never really been one who likes inactivity.  Most of the things I enjoy are things that require motion-even if only the wheels in my brain at times.  I try to remember that these are the last years of my children being in my nest.  In the next 8 years, my nest will become something I will have very limited control over.  Something that will not even resemble what it is now, not that I am kidding myself thinking I have anything resembling control now, lol.  I just know the winds of change are only a breeze right now but will become a hurricane soon enough.

Yesterday, my house was full of the small children in my growth group from church.  I get misty-eyed watching toddlers.  I have mixed emotions-I was 'there' for all of my kiddos growing up years.  I didn't 'miss' it but I am not sure I savored it enough.  I looked forward to the next thing too much and did not enjoy the right now.  Of course, this is one of those 'with age, comes wisdom' kind of things.  I could not change a thing...even if I went back in time, the events would just repeat. 

I remind myself to savor the years I have left.  I love my children with the enlarged heart that all mothers possess.  Even with the mouthiness that accompanies puberty.  The self-centeredness that causes the independence that causes kids to grow up.  The 'world revolves around me' mentality that exists even in the most good-natured teen.  Does it shrink my heart?  Not at all.  It does make it ache a little.  I so vividly remember from my own life the tough lessons that are ahead for my children.  I long to insulate them from the day they learn the world does, most assuredly, NOT revolve around them.  I wish I could save them from one-tenth of the heart ache that lies ahead.  But I cannot.  This heartache will continue their whole lives and it is where their character will emerge.  It is how God will make them into the women He needs them to be.

So, forgive me for too much nostalgia this morning.  My babies are growing up and I have a love/hate relationship with it.  However, I am well rested and my kids help me with cleaning and housework.  They do not rely on me for everything.  Soon I will even have a young driver to run some of my errands.  Life is good and every age brings with it new challenges, but also new blessings.  I am thankful God made my life into something glorious.  My blessings are heaped up and spill over.

No comments: