Camp is not perfect, but then again, it kind of is. There are always difficulties when groups of people are together. What is different about camp is that, if you are like me (willing to share your struggles, cry and allow someone to pray over you) there are always people around to be mentored by-all you have to do is ask. There is an appreciation for who God made me to be and encouragement is plentiful. There is joking, teasing and laughter, all shared in a way that makes my heart smile even now as I look back. There are children of all ages playing, walking and talking together. There are crushes everywhere you look...some admitted, others very secret. There is alot of hard work and a matching amount of hard play. The volunteer staff is made up of all walks of life: doctors, lawyers, nurses, sales reps, college students, teachers. Everyone is just happy to pitch in wherever help is needed to make camp happen.
Can you tell? PBC is my schoolgirl crush. I just love it. TLAF (true love always and forever) My first year there was a lesson in change and the beginning of my motivation to begin losing weight. My feet and ankles swelled up about day 2 and my knee was so sore that it had to be wrapped several times during the course of my stay. But camp is infectiously active and I played volleyball almost every day. I did not get to go on the big hike up the mountain and it made me a bit sad. This year I was 40ish pounds lighter and there was no ankle or feet swelling. My knee is healed through the power of aerobics and muscle development. I climbed the mountain and saw the high falls. It is said this is a 'mildly strenuous hike' but that is a complete and total lie. It is a 'kick your butt and make you question your sanity STRENUOUS hike'. BUT I DID IT!! There was much sucking of wind and doubting of ability...but I made it. Upon returning, I declared it a fun 'once in a lifetime' hike. In retrospect though, I think I will do it again. After all, next year I will be thinner still and hopefully in even better shape so why not?
My thoughts and feelings about camp are so deeply personal that it feels weird to share them. It is like an oasis. A complement to my new guilt free existence. A place where I like myself and most everybody else as well. I like me better at camp. I am a better version of myself.
The lessons God introduced me to this year are as follows:
- Do I truly want to do what it takes to live a healthier life? Is God using a mountain to help me out of a life-long valley? ( Yes, yes.)
- Do I want to be the kind of person that builds people up? Do I want to surround myself with other builders? (Yes, yes.)
- Do I love myself? Can God use me if I don't? Can I receive the gift of mercy? Can I then turn around and give it to someone else? (Starting to, not as well, YES I MUST, usually)
- When someone wrongs me, do I run or do I invest myself in the relationship for Christ? Is part of living in community loving those that are unlovable? Can I learn to forgive with reckless abandon?
- How much of the conflict in my life is my fault? What do I need to do differently to handle the conflicts in my life..Hhow do I keep the magnifying glass positioned over my faults instead of someone else's (Still perculating on all of these.)