Just A Mom

Okay, lately it seems all of my inspiration comes from AMI. We do have a fair amount in common. She posted on the fact that her daughter thinks she "gave it all up" to be a stay-at-home mom. Of course, that is a paraphrase, but you get the idea. So this has me thinking too. My daughters will be the age of hers soon and I would not be surprised if they say/believe something similar.

I was a good student all through school. I'm not bragging here-OKAY, yes I am(Don't you hate when people say, "I'm not bragging...and it is very clear that they are?)-but I made good grades, my teachers liked me, I worked about 24 hours a week at a part-time job, belonged to almost every club in the school-officer in 2 of them, was active in my church youth group and had alot of friends. I was SUCCESSFUL at school. I loved it. I LOVED it. I lived and breathed to do academics and anything relating to them. I wrote for the school paper before I even took the class. And then, after being pumped up for 12 years(no mandatory kindergarten in my day) about how awesome I was, how I was going places, winning scholarships, it happened. I graduated.

I was as lost as an easter egg. I did not come from a wealthy or really even middle class home(not poor enough for financial aid though!). I planned to go to a four year college and I even registered at one with a partial scholarship. The reality though was that I was community college bound. That was OK, it was probably for the best. You see, my ego had been pumped up to about 50 times what it should have been. I looked around at all the normal working folk and felt much pity for them. Saddled to a po-dunk town and a family. This was absolutely not the plan for one so smart as I. I had big plans. I did not have any clue what I would be when I grew up, but I would be making lots and lots of money.

So, I did a little research, found out nurses make good money but nurse anesthetists make even better money and I followed a nursing path that eventually would lead to almost 6 figures. I moved out into an apartment and got myself qualified for financial aid and went to school to be a nurse. For 2 years. I studied something I hated, cared for old people in nursing homes, women getting ready to have babies, women who had already had babies, cared for very young children who howled and cried when I came into their rooms and I WAS MISERABLE. And EMBARRASSED. You see, I had so sold myself(and family and friends) on this NURSE thing, that I wasn't sure how to go about fixing it. The day I inserted a catheter into a hysterectomy patient, I KNEW. IT was over. I no more wanted to be a nurse than the man in the moon.(Ironically, my nursing instructor gave me a long lecture in the hall about how she was finally seeing real potential in me as a nurse. HA!) I was chasing a paycheck and nursing is a little bit more of a calling-especially when you are 20. So I did what any sensible 20 year old does in a crisis. I slacked off on studying, partied alot, got a bad-for-me boyfriend and allowed my grades to slip down to just below what you had to have to stay in the program. So, no one could say I quit. That was very important to me-that I didn't quit.

With nursing behind me, I begin to lay out a new path. I moved back home, got a "real" job with benefits and a future, took a personality test to see what I should pursue in college and settled on communications. I loved my new course work. I started writing for the college paper. I was a DJ for one hour three times a week for the college radio (ALL Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix because I was cool!!) and took a class of college drama because I wanted to. I totally ACED a public speaking course and was best friends with my writing teacher. It was great. I was stoked at the possibility of this leading to a career somewhere down the road. I even took some summer classes and had my fall classes selected when my life took a totally unexpected turn that I could not have anticipated...