Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day!!

In celebration of this special day, there is something I must share. When I think of my "MOM" job, I am filled with guilt. I am not at all living up to the ideal I have in my brain. I wanted to be much more June Cleaver-ish. I would settle for just not yelling at my kids so much. I had an argument with my daughter yesterday over clothes. Not a justifiable one either. I chewed her out for wearing jeans this summer. I was so upset that she is wearing jeans all the time instead of shorts. The behavior does seem odd, but in regards to fights we COULD be having-I should be thanking God we are only arguing over such as this. (She wore shorts today and called it to my attention-can you say mommy guilt?)

So to have my own special day seems weird to me. I feel like such a failure in so many ways. When I was growing up, I never wanted to have children. When I was grown, I knew I was not "mommy" material. Now I see ways that I was wrong about that, and a few where I was right. Having children made me grow up in a way I did not anticipate. With the first child came a selflessness I could not have ever predicted. Love so strong, I worried over things that "could" happen. A protective instinct so strong, I know full well I could kill someone if they threatened my family or myself.

The mirror also came with my children. The one that shows your best and worst traits embodied in another individual and played out on the big screen called life (major high def!). Although the mirror catches glimpses of some really bad traits, what keeps me crawling out of bed in the morning are the glimses of good traits.

This morning, in true Mother's Day tradition, I was served breakfast in bed. Scrambled eggs and a banana. If we had some bread, I bet it would have been toast. Then I received a paper basket, 3 homemade cards, a dime wrapped up in a jean pocket from the craft drawer, a candle holder and this poem from Kayla:

Mom
by Kayla

A mom is someone who loves you,
A mom is someone who picks up
after you a lot without
complaining (sometimes),
A mom cares
A mom is charming and chatty
A mom is sweet and kind
A mom is great,
A mom knows people love her and
doesn't take advantage of it,
A mom loves back
A mom is wonderful
I love my mom

What can I say, my daughter loves the parentheses (she gets it honest). I laughed over that snarky bit of sarcasm in the parentheses to the point of crying and had trouble reading the rest. I love my Mother's Day presents. We don't take the kids to buy gifts because it is much more fun to see what they make us. I am rejoicing that Erika can now cook because cheerios sitting in milk while they get everything else ready taste AWFUL!! I'll take cool scrambled eggs any day of the week.

I may cry a little when everything is perfect and the gifts are better because I can't imagine better gifts than the ones I received today. I may not be the best mom in the world, but I am the best mom my kids have!! Hee hee!!

2 comments:

Jen, Fred, Jennifer or Mom said...

Happy mothers day!!

I'm sure you are a better mom than you realize. Most of us are our own worst critics. Sounds like you are doing fabulous!!!

Mia said...

you are the fun, witty mom we all want to be!...but I've never been to your house so maybe you are the screaming, fire for hair,maniac mom from our worst nightmares...but I don't think so..
: )