Thursday, March 01, 2007

A Glimpse into my afraid.

Written for our church bulletin. Thought you might enjoy a little glimpse into the re-making of Janice by God.

I am not a singer. Once upon a time though, like all children, I was. Oh how I sang. I was singing my little heart out in the bathroom of my small childhood church all through the sermon. Every song I knew...and I knew alot. Finally my mom's friend, Davida came knocking on the door. "I'm in here.", I said.

"I know, sweetie, we can all hear you."

Man, it was hard to walk out of that bathroom and go to my seat.

People were always sweet to me, they enjoyed my childish enthusiasm. However, when I went to sing in the choir, the lines were drawn. Someone, in a moment of truth, told me I did not sing well and should not be in the choir. Actually, to say my heart was broken is quite an understatement. I never sang quite the same again. I could not have been more than 10 or eleven and the person who told me was my pastor's wife who sat just a little below Jesus in my mind, still does, one comment can't change a lifetime of goodness! I'm sure she is in Heaven and I can't wait to see her again!

However, from that day forward I only mouthed singing and it never brought me the joy it had before-publicly. Privately, however, I was still singing to God with all my heart. My joyful noises were limited to God's ears only. In high school, I had a very close friend who sang very well and was very quick to point out that I did not. We still sang our hearts out to and from school. She was content for me to sing as long as I knew I didn't do it well. Through my life there have been many well-meaning people to point that out.

At the ripe old age of 34, God sent me another message entirely:

Psalm 107:32

Let them exalt Him in the assembly of the people and praise Him in the council of the elders.

You see, I was sent a word from God. I am COMMANDED to worship him. IN THE ASSEMBLY. Even if someone tells me I don't sing pretty. Because it is not about me. It is all about God. So you won't hear me singing my heart out, but you will see me singing praises to my God and Saviour. You can even hear me if you lean in, but I don't recommend it.

We are blessed with a praise team of wonderful singers to help us hear "our part". While I don't know my part, I just pick someone out and sing with them. We are also blessed with an even greater number of wonderful singers who are not in the praise team. Sit by them, follow their lead. IT IS NOT ABOUT US. There is a wave of worship going up to God that starts before it is even SUNDAY here in Reidland. Be a part of that wave of worship that tells God he is IT in our book. He created and commanded you to do it and if you don't take my word for it-just look up praise in the Bible and see it for yourself.


Ryan and Lesli said...

I LOVE this post!! I completely understand what you are saying. I also love to sing, but don't have that great of a voice. Well...not when you grow up in my family. I love your heart so much & I love that you still praise no matter what those around you say. How awesome!!! Love you!

jettybetty said...

I wrote a blog post a while back after I sat by 2 different people in back to back services that sang with so much zeal it encouraged me more than if they were professional singers--and I am not even close to God--God loves what our hearts are saying to Him--not if they are on pitch or not!!!