Erik and I went last night to a potluck at another church. They had a picnic for the children from 3-6 and I was able to finish packing up the rest of the items from Billy's trailor without the kiddos. They were so glad not to be a part of the last haul-off to goodwill!! All that is left are the big items; bedroom suite-straight from the seventies (add some red or green velvet and it could be in Graceland!!), an entertainment center, couch and misc matresses. Quite a potpourri of bedding items-frames and matresses everywhere but none of them make a complete bed?? I guess we are getting the rest of the things today and storing them here until we sell them. Trailor will have to be professionally cleaned to get the smoking odors out of there!! Erik's Dad is considering getting new carpet to help with selling it. Soon, we will be done with this. I hope I am not boring you to tears with details.

Back to the potluck, it was very interesting to watch people. Everywhere you go, people are basically the same. Superficial. We met alot of superficial people. We were superficial. I ran into a really good friend who is going through a very rough season right now. She is a VERY strong warrior for Christ and she is under attack right now. I might make other judgements about her if I did not know her. I spent several hours watching her witness to a total stranger. She showed Christ and love and endless patience. I was jealous, I wanted her to talk with and visit me. At some point my feelings changed and I appreciated her heart for God and the kingdom. People with that kind of God-power are always attacked by Satan. Always. She said, "I have wanted to call you, but I am not doing so well with the make nice everything is great conversations right now." I went on to say that she could call me anytime-I was there through thick and thin-pleasantries or unpleasantries. I hope she will. I have called her a couple of times over the last two months and I knew she was really struggling, but did not realize it was spiritual until last night. I was also a little preoccupied with my own struggles and the attacks in my own life and marriage. I had told my other friend Nancy that we desperately needed prayers and so that was why we were there. Her name is Lisa, please join me in praying for her.

We went into the prayer room with four complete strangers who knew nothing about us. They asked how they could pray for us. Erik said that he had lost two uncles and we were helping sort through that and there was alot of pressure and burden on his father. I said our marriage was not doing well, we were not teaching Christ to our children in the way that we wanted to and my husband was not the spiritual leader of our home-possibly because I could not let him be. They prayed for all of those things with us. Erik and I both repented of what we felt our sins are and we left feeling very good about what happened. We came home put the kids to bed and worked on things around here until midnight and then fell exhausted into bed. I woke up in the middle of the night having had a dream about a huge rattlesnake (it's head was the size of a dog head) in the middle of a room with me, Erik and all our girls gathered around it. We had just called someone to help us get rid of it(shoot it) when I woke up. It had been living under our house and present with us without us knowing it. AND of course had grown very large indeed!! Some of the ways this can be interpreted are so obvious. I do believe it has meaning and I do believe it is a message from God. I am working on sorting through exactly what it means. I also will be interested to talk with Erik later and see if he dreamed anything last night. Our family is definitely under attack by Satan and has been for a long time. I feel like we are just now trying to deal with those attacks and align ourselves with what God wants from us. One of the women who prayed with us suggested that we each work on growing closer to God on our own, praying for God to fill us with himself and then we would be closer as a couple as well. God has been leading me in that direction as well. I am going to find those worksheets and work on me instead of trying to fix Erik. He and God are the only ones who can fix him. This is not to say I will not be involved-just not the way I have been before. The struggles I have are big and need to be dealt with. I have to take care of the plank in my own eye before I can see the speck in someone else's.

WOW what a serious post. This is my journal too. I am in a serious place. I hope sharing it out loud helps me and someone else out there too.

UNRELATED RANDOM THOUGHT: Japanese beetles are disgusting and attacking this section of the state with a vengeance! We bought two of those bag a bug things and they are filling up fast. I hate those nasty green beetles!! When we were in Mayfield, I noticed that several entire trees looked brown but when you got closer, they had been devoured by japanese beetles. EEEEWWWW!!!!!