Friday, December 30, 2005

I saw a donut in the sky today while the girls and I were running errands. I just needed to share that. It was one of those cake donuts that looks like a tractor tire. I know I have a problem when I see sugary foods in the sky. We went to the grocery tonight...do you realize how much sugary junk products there are out there? Give up sugar for a week (maybe even a day) and you will be amazed. My apologies to the diabetics of the world who want to smack me for whining over a weak. (week/mis-spell on purpose!)
Oh yeah, I nearly forgot...a fellow homeschooler dropped by yesterday AFTERNOON and not only caught me in my pajamas, but my house was in total disarray from laundry, toys and putting up Christmas things. I have decided to try really hard to be neater so that I can enjoy spontaneous visits. I LOVE having people over, but not when my house is completely trashed. It was still a nice visit, but she teased me mercilessly and I really did not like it. I used to do my friend with 2 children that way, before I had kids. I'm sorry Laura. I realy did not understand that having kids and having a neat house were not allowed at the same time! Come on over and surprise me sometime and you can get me back!!

NO SUGAR, HOUSEWORK, LAUNDRY, Jesus...deliver me from this evil!!!!
I now know I am addicted to sugar. Last night sugar plums danced in my head. (Not really...actually my real dream was that my dog Thunder turned into our old dog Balou.) I blame the lack of sugar.

This week of no sugar is proving to me that I can make a choice to do something good for myself. My family has a rich history of diabetes and if I don't succeed with this weight thing, I will join the ranks. I just had my yearly physical (joy) and my blood sugar was perfect...but I know my days are numbered. It hit my mom in her late 30s...I am 33.

I am already losing weight, but I don't know how much...I won't do the math until next meeting on Wednesday. The number is getting smaller though. I don't know why support groups help, but they do. It being three close friends-with the same struggle helps as well. We are hoping to have one more girl join us...she is skinny but she can be an encourager ( : (Have you decided yet??? You know who you are!!) I think every American has food issues though, we live in such a land of excess!!

We are leaving the house today, with several goodies for the Salvation Army. They are such a good charity. My girl scout troop has such a good time working there this summer. They do so much good for so many people. Martha's Vineyard is so good too. Hope Unlimited-WOW. Goodwill, another good one. We are blessed to have some very awesome charities in Paducah. There are even more than that, those are just the ones I have worked with personally.

My friend is doing great!! Thanks for all the prayers you are sending up for her and keep them coming. It is making an eternal difference in her life.

Please continue to pray for the losers too. We really want to be big LOSERS!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I have been to church this evening and now my mood is better!! This is a double post, but I am going to try to stay off the computer tomorrow...famous last words. Anyway, after my bath today I put up a promised "clothesline" in the backyard for my kids to play with. I then cut up an old towel into small rags and gave them some clothespins to "do laundry" with. They had a ball. Thank you my friend Lisa for giving me the idea, actually Lisa's girls may have been the one's to think of it. It is so funny how much we spend on toys and electronics and kids really just want to act out life, current or history in their play. My kids have the most fun when we play dress-up or store or something. I recall playing school and office almost non-stop with my sis growing up. The rest of the time I was Barbie and she was Darcy the cover girl. We had no Ken back then(He was around but we did not own one) so we used the George Washington figurine from my Mom's knick-knack in the living room. Once great George was beheaded, but we were able to call in Elmer for the reattachment. We giggled about this at Christmas. I just thought I would share how hundreds of dollars worth of toys were bypased today for some rags and string in the backyard.

Also, January 6 is the Epiphany. Stay tuned and I will let you know what that is. I can't belive all I have learned since I started homeschooling the girls in January. I never realized the history and depth of Christmas. I am pleased to finally be getting my education teaching elementary to my children. Doesn't speak to well for public education-I was an honor graduate, number 12 of 242, 3 years of college. Thankfully, we keep learning forever.

Started a support group for Losers tonight. I am the leader, sort of....Losers is a good thing though...we mean weight and that is good to lose. I have committed to no sugar for one week. Good thing I finished off those red and green M&M's!! I have 5 hours under my belt and I am going to bed. I know I can do it, but I will probably be pretty mean before next Wed. rolls around. Pray for the losers, God knows who we are. (LOL) We are all sick to death of our weight and we are trying to be supportive and help each other through all the crap that surfaces when you start to tackle your weight!!
I am writing in blue because I feel a little bluesy! My children have gotten so much that they are in hyper overdrive and they are also overwhelmed with keeping up with it all. After lunch I am sending them out to play with sticks in the yard. I know they will enjoy it to. I, too, am overwhelmed with all that we got. It is a little unsettling to have so much stuff. We live in such a materialistic world...it is hard to fathom why we need/have/want so much.

We are reading The Long Winter(Laura Ingalls Wilder) and I am reminded just how much I love that period in history. People were so appreciative of every morsel of food. Kids were lucky to have one toy. If you were a slacker, you probably died through the hard winters. We really have it easy now a days. You don't really have to work very hard to have alot. Success is there for the taking if you are just willing to work a little. People have lost their faith in the only thing that matters. "They are in debt up to their eyeballs buying stuff they don't need to impress people they don't know." As I write that, I think it may be a direct quote from Dave Ramsey...so I give credit for it. Merry Excess.

OKAY!!!! I have spoke my piece and had my rant. Now I am going to go start blessing someone else out of our overflow. We will now fill a large box of stuff to take to the Salvation Army or goodwill. It will make me feel better to own a little less than we do right now. My kids will feel much better after they have played with sticks and they will appreciate hot chocolate and a movie!! But first...a soak in a hot bath for me...I don't think they had those in Little House days...poor ma.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I know there is a floor in my living room somewhere...I just can seem to locate it. The school room has suffered an even worse fate as the catch-all for the stuff not gone through yet. Being from an incredibly large family has it's advantages (I use that term loosely)at least if you are a kid. My kids have treasured every moment of Christmas. We are observing the 12 days of Christmas this year for the first time. They will get one present from Dec 26th-Jan 5th...before you think I am nuts and have gone overboard-some of these gifts they will already have received (just not had access to yet) and others will be purchased with Christmas $$ they were given. Something starts on January 6th but we have not gotten to it yet(in our study or the calendar HAHA). We are enjoying our studies of Christmas traditions and their origins. I bought a fabulous book yesterday at Lifeway called The ADVENTure of Christmas by Lisa Whelchel (Remember Blair from The Facts of Life?). Next year we will also celebrate Dec 1-24 in a more spectacular way. It focuses on celebrating the coming birth of Christ(ADVENT) on Dec 25th. Tie that in with the 12 days of Christmas and we are giving Jesus the glory he is due!! She also talks about how instead of complaining about the commercialism of Christmas, we should hold tight to our Christmas traditional meanings and get right out there and celebrate the most important birth ever. It is a great book...and yes, she is a homeschool mom.

I am running on pure adrenaline and carbs as is my custom for Christmas. I have made a resolution to get healthier this year and on through next year. I don't usually make them but I have really been feeling like crap lately. I am the fattest I have ever been and it makes me feel pretty lousy. As soon as I finish those half price M& M's in beautiful red and green, I will begin. PROCRASTINATION is SUCH an ugly word.

I must go now, Mount Washmore is still looming, not quite as large as it has been this week, but still a formidable opponent. I shall go and conquer it!!

First though...some of you may wonder...What did we get for Christmas?

$$$$, my house smells glorious because I got lots of candles (MY FAVORITE!) and a candle warmer, clothes, clothes and more clothes (LAUNDRY!!! ARGHH!), holiday stuff, virtual pets(no new real ones), new games for playstation2 and super nintendo, a portable dvd player, polly pocket stuff, purses, art supplies, jewelry, new boots for Lilly, makeup/lipgloss/bath stuff. I could list more and be more specific-but these are the high notes.

My darling husband surprised me with a laptop!! I will be able to use it at my Pampered Chef shows. It is awesome and we are very excited/clueless to have it. I will be calling one of my more savvy friends to see what to do with it. We will get around to figuring it out when we have a floor in the living room/ clean underwear and a table clear of debris, I mean stuff.

We have been so blessed and I hope you were too! As we start a new year, please don't start a year without Christ. Please let me know if you want to know more about this awesome man who loves you more than any person you will ever meet! He really is the best present of all. John 3:16-17.

What a glorious answer to prayers...my friend and her family have expressed interest in possibly coming to our church(I would be excited no matter what church by the way!)...I am so excited that they may meet the Prince of Peace and really find true joy!!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Good morning!! We are off to deliver dinners or sacks of groceries for Martha's Vineyard today. I am soo excited. We have only ever loaded boxes at our church so this will be an interesting chapter for my children.

Tonight is our second Christmas event...my dad's. Tomorrow is Eriks mom and dads, Sunday is church, grandmas, and my moms. I love Christmas. I love spending time with family...I don't really like the presents part anymore, but I know my kids do!!!

My friend is doing better. She counseled with a couple from our church last night. I think it was a very good thing. She had a genuine smile on her face and a more hopeful outlook. Lesli, you are blessed to have such wonderful parents that serve with a moments notice. She will be able to hopefully enjoy Christmas now in a way I am not sure she would have. It is so hard to have perspective insight when it is your crisis!!

I am taking a break from blogging for Christmas...Please have a merry one. Make the most of your time together with friends and family, you never know when it may be your last one with a precious family member or friend. Our days are numbered and only God knows when our time will come and how. Treasure your family like the gifts from God that they are, faults and all.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

On a lighter note, I had a great time with my friend Elaina last night!! We went to dinner and did a small amount of shopping. Mostly though, we talked. It was wonderful. We giggled like little girls and had glorious grown-up conversations. She and I already had a precious friendship, and now it is even more so!! I love the wonderful gift of Christian friendships. Thank you Elaina for a glorious night of friendship...rescuing a homeschool mom who don't get out much!!

Grandpa, take me back to yesterday. When the line between right and wrong didn't seem so hazy...sometimes it seems this world's gone crazy.

Once upon a time I was quite a fan of the Judds (we called them the jugs though, isn't that respectful) and this was always one of my favorite songs. These words really are poignant today as I am still trying to minister to my friend. Her life is in shreds and the more she finds out, the worse it all gets. Please continue to pray for her...she is trying to maintain a status quo through Christmas and then go from there. It will be the hardest thing of her life-and life has not been easy for her!!

Thank you God for you precious son, help her see that with you, all things really are possible. You are the only hope we ever have-good times and bad. Make my words yours.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

My girls scouts had their Christmas party last night. We went to pizza hut to eat and played dirty santa to exchange our ornaments...I LOVE that game...even if I get something yucky...I LOVE that game. You can really learn alot about people based on what they "steal". One of my shy quiet girls stole and I was soooo proud of her. I told her too!! I don't think "I am so proud of you for stealing!" has ever escaped my lips before! I am so blessed to have such neat girls in my troop. It is so tiring sometimes, but they really are a joy. The moms are so quick to pitch in and there were seven of us and 13 girls last night...I wonder who had more fun, us or the girls!!

We went caroling after the party and had a ball. We went to the lobby of Residential Care and they were so happy and clapped so loud despite the fact that we only made "joyful" noise!! It was great. Then we went to Hannah's grandparents. They were wonderful too and she had made cookies for us. Next stop, Otillian and Charlene ...I love them so much. They also had a wide array of goodies for us. These two ladies are such an encouragement to me. I hope I smile and enjoy life as much as they do when I get to that stage in life!! Next stop was Kathrin from RUMC, we "surprised" her and she just loved it. She also had cookies for everyone (although most of us were declining at this point!) Last stop was Anna's grandparents who watered us good and sent each girl away with a candy santa. It is fun to go caroling. Those of you who know me know I don't sing well, but it is still fun. We go somewhere different every year and it is always a treat. Something people should do more of. I wish this modern day culture visited more. We have so many hang-ups about keeping our house clean and being ashamed that we aren't neater that we really miss out on good old fashioned visiting. I am just as guilty as anyone else of not wanting to open the door when my housed is trashed, but I still do...except I did turn Terrell away once. He hasn't ever seen a mess before and I did not want it to start with me!! Teresa showed me Josh's "messy" room once, there were 4 articles of clothing on the floor. They are not ready for our messy!! LOL They do always welcome guests with open arms and hearts..perhaps I should aspire to a neater home!!

I am going out on the town with a friend tonight...I am so excited! As much as I love being a mom and wife, sometimes I forget what it means to be Janice.

My biggest fear is that I will end up clinging to my children through their adolescence, following them around everywhere they go. Trying so hard to be the "cool mom", buying beer for them and letting them borrow our bed for those "special" dates. LOL! JUST KIDDING!! I love my children so much, but I am already stepping back some. I hope we only have an advisory role when they are teens. It is a little late to crack the whip when they are driving...sure you can take the car away, but who will run to the grocery for you? I want to work myself out of a job and get back to Erik and I. Right around the time Lilly turns 18, we are kicking them to the curb and going on a cruise.

I am a little devastated, one of my friends got the rug ripped out from under her yesterday. I hate it when life happens. I hope God will be sought and found through all of this, but my big fear is this will just be another blow dealt to her by life. I will be here for her and pray for her extensively and hope she sees the light of Christ through me. I just don't know how to reach out to people that need Christ so much, but refuse to even listen to the message. I have never lectured her before but I have witnessed and shared some of the personal things he has done in our life. Please just pray for her...God will know who Janice's friend is!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

All In A Day's Work

Last one today...these all make me laugh!! My kids love #9!
I love #13 and #20, but really all of them are funny!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.


2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
"I'll serve you, but don't start anything."


3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.


4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.


5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his
arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."


6. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"


7. A horse wanders into a saloon and the barkeep asks him "Why the long face?"


8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.


9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.


10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.


11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.


12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied,
"I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby
discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came
out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family
in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him
"Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving
the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced
an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather
frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends,
with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did

All In A Day's Work

This is posted on my refrigerator:


Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is
between 2 "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy,sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and
faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his
grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."



Thank you Diana B for sharing it!
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat (me too!)...Please put a penny in the old man's hat. I must research the origins of that song-it makes no sense, it does rhyme though!

I just got out of the bath after tucking everyone in. I had to brush Kayla's hair for her tonight because she had not gotten all the way to the bottom layer in a while. TORTURE!! I once read in one of those email lists of things that make you smile, there is nothing more sweet than combing a little girl's hair. They have never combed the hair of my littlegirls!!! It is a nightmare. They start screaming before the brush makes it to their hair. I had to have a long soak in the tub to recover. I do not enjoy fixing my own hair either. I am also very tenderheaded and cry a little when I go to the salon. I do it silently, but tears stream down my cheeks. I hate when that happens.

Christmas draws ever closer!! Something is missing in me this year...I think it is the build-up. I feel like I just turned a corner and it smacked me in the face. I suppose that corner was Halloween and I should have known. It seems so early and then you blink and it really wasn't that early. We may celebrate the twelve days of Christmas this year...we are studying the orogins and history of Christmas-very fascinating stuff. That will extend it into January and people will think us veyr weird but I am pretty sure they already do! They used to use candles on Christmas trees for lights. Talk about a fire hazard. I am freaking out with just lights. Last year we did not even put any lights on the tree, just decorations. It is a little scary to have a real tree, but I can't flouf out the branches on artificial trees so we had to go with another plan...and they smell so good!

Gotta go, hubby had a late night drumming last night and the tap- tap -tapping of keys is making him sigh very loudly every minute or so. Just in case I forgot he is in here or something. Have a wonderful Lord's Day tomorrow!!
Thank you Sara for telling me about the Deanaland blog (www.deanaland.blogspot.com )!! It has me laughing and reading almost non-stop. We share a hatred of laundy...she calls hers Mt. Laundry and I, as you well know, call mine Mount Washmore.

I think all women battle this awful but critical element of life. I know we should all be grateful we don't have to operate an old wringer washer or a knuckle busting washboard, but laundry is the most unfinishable task I know of. Even on the rare occassion that I get every piece of clothing washed and put away, everyone undresses, puts on pjs and there it is again. It's doneness is so short-lived!! Erma Bombeck said that cleaning the house while there are still children living in it is like shoveling the walk while it is still snowing. I live by this saying.

But sometimes, like tonite, when my wonderful father-in-law pops in to drop off a wonderful smoked ham for Christmas, I am very embarrassed at our untidy existence. I know how tidy their home always is (and was)...my husband tells me about it. I also grew up in a tidy home. But then again, we were five women all working together on housework. And we really did not have alot of other things to do. I mean, I only had one barbie!! We love the domestics of the home- I recall my sister and I having cook-offs to see who made the best scrambled eggs. I could not have been more than 6 years old and that put her at around nine. That is right around the ages of mine!!!!!! How could my mom allow us to cook...and we had a gas stove!!!!!

We also left the house in the morning and came home around dark. We played (alone mostly-rarely ever together)by the heavily snake-infested Clark's River (and yet I think I only ever saw two) and ate our weight in unwashed (and yet delicous) blackberries. I can't imagine my children living that kind of freedom and yet I long for it for them. They get doses of it here and there, but they live in a very structured and heavily supervised world. They also hear grown-up lingo and see grown-up erotica even on Saturday morning commercials. Even homeschooling doesn't shelter them as much as they need it!! And doesn't unshelter them enough either!!

Okay, not where I meant to go with this blog, but it is late and it went. I am not about to edit it. I wanted to be funny. Another time I guess.

Tomorrrow morning, putting together the food baskets at church...I am so excited I probably won't be able to sleep. What a nerd. I apologize for being weird. I guesss growing up a little on the needy side makes me feel really good giving back. Off I go to bed to feel really blessed in our home where we have enough to eat, enough money to pay our bills, money to buy a nice Christmas that is all bought and tucked away in various crevices of the house, the ability for me to be a stay-at-home (when do I stay home?LOL) mom and homeschool our children, and a loving, but not ever perfect, family. A family dedicated to a living relationship with Christ. I am blessed. We are blessed. I bet you are too.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Only 10 more days until Christmas!!! I can't believe how quick!! Today we will get our school work done and then we are off to make gingerbread houses with our homeschool group. It should be alot of fun. It was supposed to be last week but it was cancelled due to all the snow and ice. Tuesday we went to the planetarium for a Christmas field trip. They had two Christmas shows and then Santa came and passed out candy canes. It was alot of fun. We brought our lunches and had a picnic with another family. It was a little chilly but all of the girls played and had so much fun. They played Indians and built forts in the woods. As long as Lisa and I could tough it out (we were, of course, not playing so we were very cold!!) we let them have much needed play outside time.

My girls cannot wait for Christmas!! They are only allowed to ask for a couple of things or Santa will think they are greedy and won't bring anything. I am so mean!! Erika wants camoflauge pants, Kayla wants a virtual pet, and Lilly would like one of everything on the commercials. They are really good kids as far as stuff goes. After I cleaned out about 500 toys and got them down to just a few-they really play with their toys alot. We did have so many toys that the "game" was pulling them all out and destroying whatever room they were in. I still see that when we visit other people. All of the kids play the trash the room game. Kids just have way too many toys!! I think it is the same way with us, we have so much around us that it paralyzes us and makes us stressed. This is true whether it is "stuff" or papers, or in my case, that nasty, nasty word, LAUNDRY!!! We get overwhelmed and lose our focus. I blame laundry for all the world's problems. I love camping and vacations so much because there is no laundry...well at least until you get home.

I need to get off of here now and start the day. Make yours a good one!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I apologize for taking so long to post!!!! Our computer is heavily filtered...perhaps too heavily...I have been blocked off of my blog for about two weeks. Probably all the porn and profanity I keep posting..LOL!!!

Anyway, it is good to be back. This will be a short post as I have millions of more pressing things to do.

I have hacked on my hair again. When I came home from church Sunday, I decided I hated my hair again. I, once again, put the scissors to it. Last time turned out well, so I was a little cocky. ( : Since it was about 10:30 at night, my children were not available to hold the mirror for me...this was not good. I was taking some cuts in the dark, so to speak, with the back of my head. It was a little misshapen and uneven. My hair forgives alot, but it was kind of bad. (Erik said his usual "It looks fine." I think he must practice that phrase about a million times a day since that is his reply to pert near everything!!) I am happy to report that although I was not up for going to the salon to get my hair evened out (because I was on a roll cleaning& doing the Christmas tree) - my good friend Libby (who was a stylist in another time in her life) stopped by to visit for a few minutes and was able to get me evened out..sort of. It feels better and I think it looks better, so just grin a little if it looks sort of choppy in places. It is, after all, only hair and it will grow.

We at last have our Christmas tree up and our house is decorated for the big day. This is a weight off of my shoulders..it was done on the twelfth which is about 12 days later than usual!! I was severely panicked and my girls had begun to think we would not have one. My shopping is also done so I can cruise through the next few days until the big day.

I participated in my first cookie exchange. I can now mark that off my list of things to do in this lifetime. I don't know if I will ever do it again, but it was kind of fun. We have alot of cookies, I am sure I will gain alot of weight as they are all quite yummy. I was hoping to pack some pounds on this Christmas anyway...I want to make sure I don't have to buy new clothes or anything. I like my old clothes...some of you have probably noticed. I am a comfort creature and new clothes are seldom comfortable. Especially nicer looking ones. I want to invent a line of dressy classy looking outfits that feel like pajamas. I think they would fly off the racks!! To dream the impossible dream. I think the reason PJ's are so comfy is because they don't define your shape or really touch you anywhere but the generous elastic waist. I am not sure you could look good in pants that made the same claim.

Well, I am off to the library to return our videos and encourage my little readers. Have a great Wednesday!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Mount Washmore has been downgraded to a small foothill...but I must keep at it today...I've got momentum baby!!

This post will be short and sweet! I am hoping and praying to be teaching a class at church for the new year. I am trusting God will work it all out. I have taken the steps I need to and I trust that HE will make the thing happen when he needs it to. I struggle with church being rote not real. Maybe it is only me and God needs to reveal that to me. I just want something that strengthens me in my daily walk. I love praise and worship, but I long for a soft place to fall when life happens. It happens nearly every day and I long for a group of women to pray and bond with. It is somewhat accomplished through Bible study-but sometimes I feel like a constant interruption. People are on a mission to "do the lesson" and I really think it takes a while to get real with one another and share your life. That is where the encouragement starts. I guess I should go back to Al-Anon...that is kind of the atmosphere I want. My life is just so different now but I do miss that group very much. Of all the churches I have attended in my life, Al-Anon is the one I think is most pleasing to Christ. It is truly loving your neighbor (who you really don't even know) and bearing one another's burdens. I want that for our church and my sisters in Christ. We shall see if it happens. I just can't believe I have been through all I have been through for nothing. There are people whose stories I need to hear and people who need to hear my story. We need a class where those stories and more can be shared and we can help each other be more Christlike in our daily walk. This passion burns so strong in me I can't hardly stand it(about 3 years now!!!)...I feel like I am ignoring God's call on my life...Pray patience and direction over me please!!!!